Back handed compliment.

Rather like my mother-in-law (I was very fond of her) when she saw me after I had had my hair cut differently. Her first remark was "That's better!"

It makes you wonder what you must have looked like before doesn't it Elegran?

On a similar thread, my mum has started offering me her cast offs and last week presented me with a pile of "tops and skirts she no longer wears".

These elderly Aunts certainly like "Tellin" it like it is , no holds barred .
I would like to been a fly on the wall if you had said a similar thing .
I suppose the only thing you could do is "SMILE".

Gillybob , a retro "look", can sometimes be "fetching"
x

My late x MIL asked her son and I how had we managed to produce such a pretty baby girl when DD was born,she was never top of my popularity list anyway.

GLAM x

glammanana

Oh you mean the fat, wasps nest, mothers old clothes look Nonu I forgot about that !

My older sister was always 'summoning' me to her house to go through clothes that she no longer wanted. She was twice my size but I think she 'felt sorry' for me because I could not afford (in her mind) posh clothes, most of which were hideous INMHO

Katy , I had a FRIEND like that !

I'm sure they mean well, but I wouldn't assume that someone wanted my old cast offs! She asked myself and my other 2 sisters to her house to view her old clothes once. She had laid them all out on the bed and sent us in to the bedroom to have a look. We were in fits of giggles trying these things on (my other 2 sisters and a lot younger and slimmer than her). When we had finished she said she had heard us laughing and wanted to know why! I'm sure her heart was in the right place.

Ah ! Sweet !

I was teaching attempting to teach 'communication' to'Basic Boot and Shoe Operatives' in a FE college. We were talking about budgeting and shopping in charity shops. They looked at the dress I was wearing - Mother's very dreary, mud-coloured cast-off - and asked me: 'Have you been shopping in Oxfam, miss?' Need I tell you where the dress ended up?

Oh dear! I can remember when I was about 8 (my childhood was not the best, as mentioned here before) my mum was in hospital having one her many babies and for some reason my dad took me out and bought me a new dress (unheard of for him).
I was SO thrilled with it - pink and white with pretty heart shaped pockets. The mother of one of my friends said 'I see your dad's been to the jumble sale' . Strange that I can still remember that over 50 years on.

My darling Mum (now gone bless her) used to pass the same comment every time I had my hair cut....'Looks nice from the back dear'.

My mum and her sisters were equally forthright, and thought nothing of commenting on a little weight gain, or any sign of 'letting yourself go'! But now that they're gone, I feel that there's no one who actually tells me the truth (sadly, behind their barbed-but-well-meaning comments, there was usually a nugget of truth)!

One of my aunts told me that I looked just like my mum at that age 'but, obviously, not as pretty'

Oh Kitty! It's better to be stylish than pretty and I'm sure you are

A few years ago after a few glasses of my sister and I embarked on a saga of "when we were little" it got more and more depressing until I said (in a drunken voice ) "no one ever told me I was a pretty little girl" my DH piped up "have you ever thought that you probably weren't and no one wanted to lie to you"

I was always on the 'chubby' side and when I moaned about my size, my mother would say, 'But you're very neat dear'. And that was meant to reassure me?

My Mum used to call it 'damning with faint praise'.I had just had my hair done and was talking to a friend about my hairdresser. The friend asked,'' Is she any good?'' !!

I think too that older people feel they have the right to say what comes into their heads without giving it a moments thought. My MIL was the same and ignored the fact there were 'no go' areas. The older I get the more I am looking forward to doing the same thing

Liz , me too !

It can be horrible though LizG my grandma thinks she can get away with saying anything she likes because she is 97, but she sometimes often oversteps the mark and i have to remind her how cutting her remarks can be. At the minute she is sitting in hospital like the bloody queen commentating at the top of her voice about anyone and everyone in the ward. Visitors, nurses, patients, no-one is spared. Yesterday she announced that the lady in the bed opposite was vain as she keeps looking at herself in the mirror. I said that she was probably just smartening herself up for the visitors and grandma said at the top of her voice "WELL SHE SHOULD SAVE HERSELF THE BOTHER AS NO AMOUNT OF LIPSTICK WILL MAKE HER BEAUTIFUL".

gillybob I like her already.