Convincing people there is life outside London and work.

I think it can be a mistake to move away from everything you know to a place where you have no friends or family. I have moved around a lot in my working life but now I am retired I will be staying where I am until I either don't want or can't drive (no public transport).

I meant to add that "living well" can mean a lot of things, do you mean financially? To a lot of people "living well" means being surrounded by their friends and family

Frank I think maybe people are drawn to what they are used to in most case's and don't like change,they feel comfortable in the area they are in and maybe have family tie's that they don't want to break and friends they want to keep in contact with,when mr.glamma and I moved back to UK we could have chosen to live in any part of the Country my favourite place being Northumberland but family connections brought us back to The Wirral.

Frank, are you an agony aunt uncle for a woman's mag?

Frank people generally don't like being 'pensioned off' because hey identify themselves through their work and to be told you are surplus to requirements can be very hurtful. It's quite different from retiring at a time of your own choosing.
And I have to say, it's one of my (slight) regrets that I have never lived in London and now I don't suppose I ever will.

I got out of London as soon as I could, to somewhere as different as possible - the Pyrenees. Not everybody needs to be surrounded by people they know - some of us enjoy solitude, peace, quiet, no crowds, traffic or built-up areas, and beautiful scenery. After living in several different areas of France, I am now settled in the Alps. I didn't identify myself by my employment, ,much as I enjoyed my various careers. Perhaps this is more common in men, some of whom seem unable to come to terms with retirement (and drive their partners mad!)

More women needing advice from an older man with a London pension and a large four-bedroom detached house as their pretty little heads can't get round making decisions for themselves.

HUNTERF Do you think women will ever get the vote?

I don't mind his obvious wind-ups as they do sometimes lead to good discussions. However, I don't get drawn into threads about the cost of care, house ownership, etc.

I agree jane that being pensioned off early can often contribute to someone losing their identity. My dad was made redundant at 60. He enjoyed his work and the comradely that came with it. My mum was quite poorly and she dissuaded him from seeking future employment which looking back was a huge mistake. Being used to the company of fellow workers (mainly other men) he was suddenly thrust into this world of hospital visits, cups of tea (mainly with women) and the odd shopping errand. I think in someways it robbed him of his masculinity and he has never been the same.

As for living in London, I have a dear cousin who lives in London whom I visit occasionally but that is it. I would have no desire to live the hustle and bustle kind of life and would hate to be so far away from the sea.

Pensioned off at 56 would be bad. And if you've got a life set up where you are, it might not be easy to up sticks and move.

'London' covers a huge area. I take it they don't all live within walking distance of Trafalgar Square.

When I got pensioned off early my first thoughts was to put my house up for sale and to go and join my daughters in Birmingham.
They were pleased when I phoned them up and the one told me lots of men did aerobics in Birmingham.
The only trouble was they all seemed to disappear before I went to my first class.
My father was also pleased and asked me to live with him and not replace my house.
He pointed out I was already a half owner of the house he was in and it was far too big for 1 person.
The employment situation was reasonably good at that time and I was working within 3 weeks of my arrival in Birmingham.
I never got any job seekers allowance.
As it happens 11 other people who worked in the same building as me are now in the Birmingham area.
I did go on a retirement course 3 months after my first retirement which seemed strange as I was working again.
One of the first things they said was don't move house straight away on retirement. Too late. My house in London had been sold and I was living in Sutton Coldfield.
I think early retirement has worked well for me as I have now got my granddaughters and Andie. I also had 3 years when I was not working and I was able to take Dad to a few places which he wanted to visit.

Frank

jo8 I took early retirement at 49on health grounds.
I've never regretted it. It gave us 9 years to spend together sailing (he had been made redundant with a good package) we both took part time jobs but that paid for the boat which was his mistress!

If you have always lived in the same place with all your friends and memories, why would you want to leave?

I would have been very upset if anyone started telling me what to do in my 50s. By then surely we know our own minds?

It is much easier to up sticks and move away from the London area if you have not always lived there. We couldn't wait to get away and have no regrets but I think it would have been very different if we hadn't movedlot!

Movedalot

I originated from Birmingham but lived in a road in London where most of the people were about 25 years older.
Gradually those people were leaving for various reasons and most of my friends at work were retiring and leaving the area.
I was beginning to feel I was not part of London and I was wanting to join my daughters and other family in Birmingham.
Really my only interest in London now is my pension which turns up at the end of the month and the shops in Birmingham are happy to take my money.

Frank

Frank, 1) I would be offended if someone starting telling me how to live in retirement or 'advising' as you say. I would feel it was none of their business unless I specifically asked them what their opinion was.
2) When people have lived in the same place for a long time. Not only do they have a circle of friends, acquaintances and activities locally that they do not lightly cast aside they have a whole web of contacts, service providers from plumbers to hairdressers who they know and rely on. This kind of network is not easily replaced and in the new place you have moved to, knowing no one, you have to start building this network again from scratch. Many people do not want to.
3) Many people would prefer to live in a smaller property in a big city, particularly London than live in the country. Someone I know has said that the moment their DH dies they are putting their current village home on the market and moving as far into central London as they can, no matter how small the flat so that they can have the museums, art galleries, concerts and theatres on their doorstep.
4) One of my friends did exactly what you recommend and was miserably unhappy, despite being the most social of people she never settled in her new location and died of cancer within 5 years, I feel the cancer was exacerbated by her misery in her new home and the knowledge that having moved somewhere with cheaper housing she could not afford to move back.

Noo - Londoners should stay in their nasty great city.
We get them retiring up this way, going around saying how quaint everything is and pretending not to understand what we're saying and complaining about how slow everything is. Frequently they stay a couple of years and then slink back complaining even more about how house prices have gone up in London and stayed the same here.
We do have some places where Londoners are happy like Chelsea on Sea (Burnham Market) where locals can no longer afford to live and the restaurant prices are exorbitant. Sort of posh ghettos.

I should add there are a few nice Londoners who integrate and contribute a lot to the community and are made welcome. They even learn the language!

Some Londoners, e.g. Mr absent and me, have been very happy living in a small town for the last three years. We were once very happy living in London – it stopped suiting us and we stopped suiting it – so when it became a place we didn't want to stay, we moved elsewhere. Soon we shall be living somewhere even smaller than the little market town where we currently live. However, it was our choice and we didn't consult someone else about what we wanted before selling up and moving out.

Good for you Absent. You go where you want because you want to be there. Not because it's the 'right' place to be seen to be. Or because your financial advisor says you should.

I am a Londoner born and bred and nowadays nothing would persuade me to live in London. It is too noisy, too busy and too overwhelmed with traffic.

We have even fled west from south east Berkshire where we lived for over 30 years as the countryside was overwhelmed by housing, people and cars. We now live near Oxford, not profound countryside, but I can walk round my village and local footpaths and at times hear nothing but a passing train. If we move again it will be somewhere off the A1 between north Hertfordshire and York, the places our children live in.

Is there life beyond Birmingham, though?

Occasionally I think I would like to live in a city and enjoy whatever it offers, but a) I couldn't afford a property and b) I don't think I would meet people as easily as I can in my present situation. I have lived in this village for 32 years and have many friends and although I have an underlying urge now I am alone to move nearer my daughters, to downsize and to start over, I don't think it's the right thing do - yet. I shall keep putting off the decision, probably until the DD's have to put into action the PoA which I have just signed I shall more than likely be carried feet first out of the door but it's good to dream and who knows what's round the corner..........

Well one of the women have asked to come and stay for a few days to see how she is likely to get on outside London.
She immediately said she is very unlikely to buy a 4 bedroom detached house but she said I had different circumstances when I came to Birmingham.
Obviously she can then decide what she wants to do or she could look at other options.

Frank