Convincing people there is life outside London and work.

Been thinking about you going off to a school you hated because your parents believed you'd get the best possible education. I failed the 11+ but would probably have passed at 12. My parents decided to leave me happy at Sec Mod rather than send me to boarding school. I would have had no friends in the village and a miserable time - but at the Sec Mod girls didn't do maths or science without at least one of these any other GCEs were pretty useless.

They did have difficult decisions didn't they.

Oh dear!

They thought they were doing the right thing I suppose!

Oh how b****y awful. What were your parents thinking of? Did they think it would be character building?

5veeeeeeeeeery loooooooong years

Oh dear Galen I hope you were rescued and didn't have to stay there too long.

Lichfield is ruined for me by the very unhappy memories I have of boarding school there.

Lichfield is lovely - and has a proper market doesn't it? I was trying to think of market towns nearer to London, but I suppose you have good rail links from there. We only go to London when there's a Blue Moon. (Actually I've never been to Birmingham - round it a few times, but never into it.)

NfkDumpling

I hear what you are saying but I don't think my daughters / granddaughters would be happy if I moved out of Birmingham.
I have got a reasonable circle of friends as well as some enemies as a result of me not handing the house I inherited from my father to his ex but they are hardly ever approaching me now.
Lichfield is very nice. It is about 8 miles from where I live and they do have markets in Tamworth.
I have also got to return to places like the Art Gallery and I must take a trip on a canal barge in the near future.
Andie loves to walk in the parks and by the canals.
Last year we walked from Selly Oak to Brindley Place and had a bit of lunch in an outside café and then walked back.
Andie just eat his dinner at about 5pm and slept till 8 am the next morning.

Frank

Frank

I love having proper butchers shops and green grocers selling local products and proper bakers, but it does seem that if you're in commuter range of London the market towns have mostly been swallowed up by overdevelopment and out of town shopping.
I know it's a long way out, and against what I said earlier (tongue in check - honestly) about Londoners staying in London but, if your friend wants a market town, have a look at Downham Market. Or there's some lovely towns in Suffolk such as Stowmarket.

Hi NfkDuumpling

I keep on looking for something like you have got facilities wise possibly a 2 bedroom bungalow with a garage.
My parents chose the house I am now in and I don't think they thought about me being in it 65 years later.
The sort of place I am thinking of for her to move to is Bedford which is 50 miles from London but obviously it is her choice.
Some other people I know have moved out that sort of distance and tend to get a train in to London about 4 times a year to meet people they worked with etc.
Property is cheaper than London and the general day to day expenses are not as high.

Frank

We moved from a city suburb to a small market town in order that we have every thing we need within walking (later buggy) distance. Doctor, dentist, optician, shops, banks, all on the doorstep and no need to drive. Wonderful! Apparently, we've accidentally done it right by moving before we're too decrepit - just!

I'm not sure though Frank, if an hour out of London is far enough to be of that much monetary benefit. Surely one would need to be beyond the commuter belt?

Greatnan that is exactly what I am now enjoying since our move, and it is lovely!

I want to emigrate to be near my family in New Zealand while I am still fit enough to enjoy all the things that life there offers. I like living alone, but I must admit it would be nice to be able to go shopping with my daughter, drop in for a cuppa, or join them for a long walk, or a bbq. It would never have occurred to me to move out there if she had not suggested it, but when I was there last month her husband said how much the whole family was looking forward to having me close.

Movedalot I think you are right, the trick is to try to make the right decisions while you have your health and strength.

That is sad Lily. At least they had those wonderful 40 years.

I suppose we all have to make those decisions but which son would we move near to and how would we know they were going to stay there? As you will see we have lived in many different places, and been happy in them, but now we are happier where we live than ever before so will make the most of it while we can and hope to make the right decisions while we are still of an age to make them.

And then again, rather gloomy, my parents refused to move back to their roots (which is where we live) because of the few good friends they had made over the years in the rural town where they lived for forty years. it seemed very sensible at the time. We couldn't move to be near them because of jobs. We did visit very often. Over the next five or six years, their friends either died or moved to be nearer to their children and then my parents became too frail to drive so they couldn't go out and about or do the garden or carry on the hobbies they had in the past. So there they were, 100 miles from family, including extended family. There followed several years of emergency dashes down the motorway as well as the frequent visits, trying to arrange care at a distance, stopping them from being ripped-off by cowboy electricians, builders, roofers, gardeners, security firms.....then my father died and my mother immediately said she wanted to come and live with us. If they had moved near us, I think their last few years together would have been so much more trouble-free. At least they wouldn't have had to get someone in to change a lightbulb!

I took 'voluntary' redundancy from a Local Authority two years ago after living in the London area since I was 13. My DH all his life. He retired from f/t paid work a year ago. We both work p/t freelance.
We moved from Sth London almost two years ago to a small town 35-40 mins drive from where we lived previously. We are now much closer to both DDs and our 4 DGC so we can help more easily with care to help them work.
I have not found it a problem. DH thinks it is more problematic than it is! We go to cinema, theatre or exhibitions in London at least twice a month and still do as much as before. Costs a bit more to get there but otherwise not impacted.
We still see our group of good friends (who lived 20 mins drive from us in London) as often as previously...occasionally we stay over with them or they stay with us to save not drinking which one of us had to do when we lived closer!

The major difference here is that there are fewer black faces in the local community, it is less diverse ethnically though not socially. Tbh where we lived in Sth London was very similar ethnically speaking. Many of the younger people here are, like our daughters, ex Londoners, who could not afford a home in London like the ones they have here.

My DH thinks people are more likely to be racist /right wing here but personally I think intolerant and right wing attitudes are, sadly, as rife in Wandsworth as they are in small town Surrey

Recently, at a social event, I shared a table with 6 people I had nver met before and we discovered that all of us had lived in or very near London at some point in our lives. I didn't hear anyone complain about it but we did all agree that we loved where we live now and won't move back.

Well one of the women have asked to come and stay for a few days to see how she is likely to get on outside London.
She immediately said she is very unlikely to buy a 4 bedroom detached house but she said I had different circumstances when I came to Birmingham.
Obviously she can then decide what she wants to do or she could look at other options.

Frank

Occasionally I think I would like to live in a city and enjoy whatever it offers, but a) I couldn't afford a property and b) I don't think I would meet people as easily as I can in my present situation. I have lived in this village for 32 years and have many friends and although I have an underlying urge now I am alone to move nearer my daughters, to downsize and to start over, I don't think it's the right thing do - yet. I shall keep putting off the decision, probably until the DD's have to put into action the PoA which I have just signed I shall more than likely be carried feet first out of the door but it's good to dream and who knows what's round the corner..........

Is there life beyond Birmingham, though?

I am a Londoner born and bred and nowadays nothing would persuade me to live in London. It is too noisy, too busy and too overwhelmed with traffic.

We have even fled west from south east Berkshire where we lived for over 30 years as the countryside was overwhelmed by housing, people and cars. We now live near Oxford, not profound countryside, but I can walk round my village and local footpaths and at times hear nothing but a passing train. If we move again it will be somewhere off the A1 between north Hertfordshire and York, the places our children live in.

Good for you Absent. You go where you want because you want to be there. Not because it's the 'right' place to be seen to be. Or because your financial advisor says you should.

Some Londoners, e.g. Mr absent and me, have been very happy living in a small town for the last three years. We were once very happy living in London – it stopped suiting us and we stopped suiting it – so when it became a place we didn't want to stay, we moved elsewhere. Soon we shall be living somewhere even smaller than the little market town where we currently live. However, it was our choice and we didn't consult someone else about what we wanted before selling up and moving out.