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Loneliness TV Doc

(39 Posts)
oldkranky Sun 10-Jan-16 20:25:02

Did anyone see "the age of loneliness" last thursday - its on BBC iplayer if you missed it. It touched a nerve with me. Im in a very simular situation.
There is virtually no help available if you are housebound - and very limited if you are not. There is some help for carers out there. It took 3 goes to watch all i was so moved. When you get older you seem to disappear to everybody.

Jane10 Sun 10-Jan-16 20:56:28

You'll feel better when you get your teeth sorted. You don't have to be lonely with Gransnet and Silverline. Maybe you'll be able to get out and about a bit more in the spring? I hope so!

Lapwing Sun 10-Jan-16 20:57:56

It was difficult to watch at times. The issues raised do not apply to me at present but it did give me food for thought regarding the future.

oldkranky Sun 10-Jan-16 21:27:03

Jane10 - The main point was the getting out and about - where to?
The buses do not take mobility scooters on them. Taxis are out of my price range. There are a couple of older persons meeting groups locally - but tea and bingo are not my scene. There is a shopping bus run by the local council that takes scooters, but you only get 2 hours in town before returning. I look forward to getting a paper in the mornings and saying hello to the newsagent - pathetic or not. I look forward to medical appointments
as a change of scenery. There are a lot of older persons in the same boat as me. Ebooks are a blessing - 4 to 5 hours a day reading fills time.

Jane10 Sun 10-Jan-16 21:48:33

2 hours in town is better than nothing. The tea and bingo might not be your scene -could you suggest that some of the people there play Scrabble instead? Or cards? The organisers might think that bingo is all anyone there wants to play.
I'm pretty busy but absolutely love my e reader and watching TV. Could you try writing? Contribute pieces to writers websites?

oldkranky Sun 10-Jan-16 22:02:40

Jane10 thanks for reply. I am partially deaf so TV is out (try watching tv with subs sometime - it misses lots out and has sync probs). Have tried to get other things to do but being in a small villiage is very limiting. Get through 2 sometimes 3 books a day. Luckily the net is available so there is an infinite amount of ebooks downloadable.

jinglbellsfrocks Sun 10-Jan-16 22:21:05

Have you no family to care about you oldkranky? sad flowers

HannahLoisLuke Sun 10-Jan-16 23:29:45

Is there a local group of Gransnet anywhere close that you could join?

crun Mon 11-Jan-16 00:40:31

Have you thought of trying headphones for the telly, then you can turn the volume up as loud as you need without annoying the neighbours.

WilmaKnickersfit Mon 11-Jan-16 01:20:59

Another thing to consider is a befriending scheme. There's lots of organisations now offering befriending opportunities for the elderly. Google is your friend here! grin

Usually you pair up with a volunteer who either rings you for a chat, visits you at home or drives you places. You don't have to use your own scooter in a lot of places either because they provide them. In some towns you can rent one so you can get about.

The tea and bingo groups could open up a network for you to try new things. It's hard I know, but a little effort on your part might go a long way to getting out and about doing things you like. flowers

cornergran Mon 11-Jan-16 09:09:02

Thinking about the younger people's stories in the programme reminded me that many people volunteer with a befriending scheme to minimise their own isolation. Often by seeking contact via a befriending agency two people are helped. Perhaps worth a try? Loneliness is proven to be a trigger for all sorts of ill health. Take care. I'm sad there seems to be no one close to you. flowers

Anniebach Mon 11-Jan-16 10:28:55

No idea where you live but here Age Concern Cymru are very supportive , they drive people to medical appointments, take them shopping or do the shopping, arrange friends groups, have advocates to support housing problems, advise on disability Aids. Have you contacted them in your area ? If not do ring them.

oldkranky Mon 11-Jan-16 11:07:08

Thanks for all your kind thought folks. But have not mentioned it before - for various reasons - just had 36 year wedding anniversary. She is in the same boat a me ie: "bored silly" since i had to give up driving 2 years ago.
One daughter in Brighton phones weekly - all my family are gone and minimal contact with the wifes family. Bubblepop etc on the tablet fills a lot of her day. I do watch tv on pc with headphones but after a hour my ears burn.
Whats on to watch - not into football\soaps\daytime telly etc: I quote a well known PM "entertainment for the mindless masses". Have contacted Age Concern with no successful outcomes. Its too out of town here.
Sorry to drivel on about my probs - i know, from the documentary, there are
more than enough out there in the same situation. Happy Monday all

Elegran Mon 11-Jan-16 11:21:05

Daytime telly is not the most exciting, oldkranky, but you can watch a lot of non-daytime progs on BBC i-player and similar online sites.

What are your neighbours like? Are any of them just as bored as you and Mrs OK? There might be combined outings to do together.

Elegran Mon 11-Jan-16 11:24:45

Why do you have the headphones on? Isn't your PC sound up to much, or is it to spare Mrs OK ? You can get a cable to connect your PC to the TV to show programmes larger and watch properly, or your TV may get i-player and the other things directly.

I agree though that sitting on your backside watching the box a lot would not be my choice.

NanaandGrampy Mon 11-Jan-16 11:33:05

I've just watching the programme whilst tackling my ironing mountain. I am grateful I'm not in that position but it certainly gave me room for thought.

Where would I be if not for DH? We don't have loads of friends but we do have family . Maybe we need to start 'future proofing' our lives to an extent as it is unlikely we'll both pop off together smile.

What did make me incredibly sad were the younger people who are so lonely. I never thought about it like that but I am now sure it is why we see so much of your youngest DD and her 2 boys. She doesn't drive and is a stay at home Mum... It never dawned on me that she might be lonely!

I'm going to be that old lady that admires babies and talks to young women alone in coffee shops going forward !!

oldkranky Mon 11-Jan-16 12:28:24

Hi all - all my probs aside -i go out on my scoot for a paper in the morning and go out in afternoon for a ride out in fresh air. I tend to say good morning to people i pass or toot kids in the way, you should see the funny looks i get sometimes. Feel like i have a pervert label on my head. This Politically Correct brigade want shooting sometimes (most likely get the armed response team now for typing shooting). you dare not strike up a conversation with anyone anymore. Where will it all end "in silence".

Jane10 Mon 11-Jan-16 13:51:47

Feel free to go on letting off steam on here! Some good ideas put forward though. I suppose one encouraging thing is that you've noticed. I mean you could have just slumped into lethargy without realising it. Get those brain cells going -find some like minded people online. Also keep tooting as you go along the road!

Riverwalk Mon 11-Jan-16 14:08:00

..... toot kids in the way

I'm not surprised that you get 'funny looks' - children have as much right to the pavement as you do.

Tooting, like ringing a bicycle bell, is to alert others that you're around, not for them to get out of the way.

petra Mon 11-Jan-16 14:14:02

Oldkranky. I'm a befriender with Age Concern. Please phone your local branch. You will speak with the befriender( on the phone) before you meet.
This is so that the two of you can make contact and have a chat about when would be best for the befriender to visit.
You dictate how often you want your visits and for how long.

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 11-Jan-16 14:18:38

Of course he has to toot kids to get them out of the way. What do you suggest - he drives straight over them?!

Oldkranky I don't know what to say. Keep getting out and about on your scooter. Perhaps go places where the same person is likely to be there. One scooter rider round here is often seen chatting with the lock keeper.

And keep chatting on here. Ignore the politically correct. GN is for all. brewcupcake

oldkranky Mon 11-Jan-16 14:43:33

HEY i toot as a greeting not to get them out of the way. most kiddywinks laugh - its the grownups that take unbrage usually. oops! should have put kids ON the way and not IN the way.

Stansgran Mon 11-Jan-16 16:16:50

Goodness Riverwalk you would think we were Mumsnet .

Riverwalk Mon 11-Jan-16 17:21:33

I'm afraid I have low tolerance for remarks such as

This Politically Correct brigade want shooting sometimes

Just because a poster uses a mobility scooter doesn't mean he can't be challenged!

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 11-Jan-16 20:36:15

Ordinary people saying ordinary things. We're not all posh.