Loneliness TV Doc

loopy its a horrid place to be. Since stopping work my memory for detail is fading fast, so apologies if I get this wrong, but haven't you had a number of changes to deal with, as well as stopping work? Some renovations? Or am I rotally mis-remembering. Don't underestimate the time it takes to adapt to change, no matter if the change was welcome. If you have been busy with your home and now that has reduced there will be all sorts of space that wasn't there before.

It sounds as if your mood has taken a bit of a dip, can't be bothered often stems from there or maybe it is just that there are things for your body to do but often nothing to stimulate your brain and you have slipped into some negative thinking, we can all do that. I also began to put on weight when I stopped work, totally illogical as my work was sedentary in the extreme and I am now much more active. In my case it was simply that I was eating because I could - rather than eat sensibly at meal times I was snacking because the snacks were there. Easier to stop than to start and I am still working on it. Summer clothes are a definite encouragement!

For me there was also something about losing a routine that had held me and given me purpose. Its taken a couple of years to settle properly, so please do give it time. Don't blame yourself. Your daughter's shifts won't help with routine but if you can have grandchildren and non grandchildren structure to your days it may be useful. Contact with others, whether in person or via GN has got to help, but at the moment perhaps pick the people carefully, you don't want to spend hours with those who do nothing but complain!

Not sure ifyour DH has always been an irritant or if its just since you have stopped your own professional life. Is he disparaging because you don't work? Hope not as in my experience we often work as hardat home than we do professionally, particularly when there are children involved.

I'm sorry, this is a bit rambling, just wanted to share some experiences and say hang on in there, you aren't unusual and it will pass.

Look after yourself, hope the sun shines again soon.

For some reason I feel so lonely and isolated. DH still works full time and long hours and then when he is home he drives me mad. I look after my grand children when my daughter works but that is erratic as she works shifts. I have lots to do but cannot be bothered so the house is a mess and I am putting on weight. Advice please !

I meant "oldkrankys post.

I like precarious idea of utilising community centres or village hall's as a sort of drop in centre. Some comfy sofas and a non formal atmosphere. I wish my village could do something like this! There is a pub here but I wouldn't go into a pub on my own .although I would in a town during the day.

I have just finished watching age of loneliness, and it did make me feel very sad, and potentially looking at myself. I don't know what the answers are, although for me, as an only child it may not be quite so difficult, (I hope!!) as I was for years used to being on my own, but of course I was young then, maybe in old age being alone will be more difficult. Can't say I'm looking forward to it if it's me left here when two turn into one, but then, I wouldn't wish it onto DH, so we hope we'll go together!!

Re: communal sitting rooms - out local community centre has underused rooms - wonder if an open house room for oldies (with a teasmade supplied) and a few tables and chairs would be impractical. this i feel would be better for some than an organized event with bingo\whist etc: a sort of do it yourself - drop in event.

What a great idea for those who would like this sort of structure. Like you Jings it wouldn't suit me . I'm more the hermit type

Can't think of anything worse, myself!

there is this Seems a good idea on the surface. But, by golly! I bet there'd be some fall-outs!

Just watched the loneliness documentary on BBC iPlayer. Very good. I never realised how many people are affected. There must be some solutions to the problem? Communal sitting rooms with our own bedrooms, perhaps?

No, I don't suppose any of us will be getting out in the garden soon. So it follows that we are all feeling a bit shut in with the weather. to all of us "getting on a bit -ers"

nigglynellie - thanks for your interest. i do watch a lot of wildlife docs also lots of tv series - spartacus, last of the summer wine, game of thrones etc.
i am lucky in a way in that have been in IT for 40+ years so i have seen series episodes not yet released in UK as yet "hrump hrump". unfortunately after a hospital stay am unable to sustain more than 15 minutes activity.
Before probs i used to fill week up as a volunteer driver for Age Concern and a council school bus. cannot drive now due to ill health. there is only so many hours of telly to watch before that gets boring as well. Have a vast library of ebooks so spoilt for choice there. i dont think you will be getting in the garden any time soon though. All the best to you.

oldkranky, There are some lovely wildlife programmes on National Geographical channels, as well as some very interesting progs on the history channels. That is if you're interested in that sort of thing, not everyone is I know. DH and I are watching a prog about wild life in Sweden on 'Wild'. The wolverine is a bit scary, but the scenery superperb. I know the days can seem rather long particularly in the winter, summer always seems easier as we both enjoy gardening, and gentle walking! I think retirement can be a two edged sword particularly after a busy working life.

Toot on Oldkrankie!

Ordinary people saying ordinary things. We're not all posh.

I'm afraid I have low tolerance for remarks such as

This Politically Correct brigade want shooting sometimes

Just because a poster uses a mobility scooter doesn't mean he can't be challenged!

Goodness Riverwalk you would think we were Mumsnet .

HEY i toot as a greeting not to get them out of the way. most kiddywinks laugh - its the grownups that take unbrage usually. oops! should have put kids ON the way and not IN the way.

Of course he has to toot kids to get them out of the way. What do you suggest - he drives straight over them?!

Oldkranky I don't know what to say. Keep getting out and about on your scooter. Perhaps go places where the same person is likely to be there. One scooter rider round here is often seen chatting with the lock keeper.

And keep chatting on here. Ignore the politically correct. GN is for all.

Oldkranky. I'm a befriender with Age Concern. Please phone your local branch. You will speak with the befriender( on the phone) before you meet.
This is so that the two of you can make contact and have a chat about when would be best for the befriender to visit.
You dictate how often you want your visits and for how long.

..... toot kids in the way

I'm not surprised that you get 'funny looks' - children have as much right to the pavement as you do.

Tooting, like ringing a bicycle bell, is to alert others that you're around, not for them to get out of the way.

Feel free to go on letting off steam on here! Some good ideas put forward though. I suppose one encouraging thing is that you've noticed. I mean you could have just slumped into lethargy without realising it. Get those brain cells going -find some like minded people online. Also keep tooting as you go along the road!

Hi all - all my probs aside -i go out on my scoot for a paper in the morning and go out in afternoon for a ride out in fresh air. I tend to say good morning to people i pass or toot kids in the way, you should see the funny looks i get sometimes. Feel like i have a pervert label on my head. This Politically Correct brigade want shooting sometimes (most likely get the armed response team now for typing shooting). you dare not strike up a conversation with anyone anymore. Where will it all end "in silence".

I've just watching the programme whilst tackling my ironing mountain. I am grateful I'm not in that position but it certainly gave me room for thought.

Where would I be if not for DH? We don't have loads of friends but we do have family . Maybe we need to start 'future proofing' our lives to an extent as it is unlikely we'll both pop off together .

What did make me incredibly sad were the younger people who are so lonely. I never thought about it like that but I am now sure it is why we see so much of your youngest DD and her 2 boys. She doesn't drive and is a stay at home Mum... It never dawned on me that she might be lonely!

I'm going to be that old lady that admires babies and talks to young women alone in coffee shops going forward !!

Why do you have the headphones on? Isn't your PC sound up to much, or is it to spare Mrs OK ? You can get a cable to connect your PC to the TV to show programmes larger and watch properly, or your TV may get i-player and the other things directly.

I agree though that sitting on your backside watching the box a lot would not be my choice.