Wow I am sooo low maintenance compared to lots on here.
All I have is a hair cut and the lady comes to me at home very cheap. Although 68 I still have a lot of colour in my sparse hair so don't colour it. Because it is thin, I wash it each day as to try and do something with it, is more trouble. It is dry in thrice.
Eyebrows, well basically, I haven't got any to speak of so no point in having them plucked.
Nails I paint myself occasionally, I did have false ones a few years back, can't remember if they were gel or not and to my horror one came off and it was in the DGS's cot, thank goodness he didn't swallow it. That was it, no more after that.
As regards massage, I couldn't think of anything I would like less, someone running their hands all over you, no thanks.