Speaking my mind!

It's risky. You don't want to alienate people you actually like it might need.

I have a friend, one I’m trying to distance myself from. She’d say she’s just speaking the truth, or her mind. I, & multiple other people just find her rude

There is a fine balance here

If it's causing you problems, I'd try to temper it down, a bit.

Our views and opinions become more settled with age so that we tend to think they are right.
Some of us (I include myself) need to remind ourselves to keep an open mind, listen to others and consider before we speak.

Yes you can have and voice an opinion , but it shouldn't sound as if you are dismissive of everyone else's too. So perhaps it's the tone of your voice that might come over as being too much for others to handle. I would try prefixing with "in my opinion" or " sorry if I offend you but"
That comes over as less aggressive.
But if you really don't care about offending people carry on.

My mil was awful and embarrassing and often downright rude the older she got the worse she got. I dont want to end up like her.

there is a fine line between voicing and coming over as i know best, you can give your opinion and not loose your temper, i never shout or loose my temper in the usual way, i just get very clipped, i won't say something if i know it is going to upset someone or cause hurt, if i really need to voice my opinion i just say that is what i think and leave it at that. i have noticed in the last 10 years i am much calmer and less things bother me than they did when i was younger, i am 62 and my thought process is more of a whatever attitude. try not to cause problems with the people around you as these things can fester and people will not what to spend time with you, and that is not worth it, bite your lip and walk away.

I find the speak as I find, and I speak my mind, use it as a excuse to be bloody rude. They can also cause hurt to people.

Speaking your mind can appear rude and upsetting to others. I know people who do and find they are avoided.
Probably better to be a little more subtle if you want to stay friends with people. I do have a friend who doesn't really care what people think if she knows she is right.

No, I try to avoid situations or people which may cause less than pleasant outcomes! I know my limits (arthritis pain) and tend towards 'tweaking' my schedule for optimum pleasure.
A silly example - I normally go to the supermarket very early, park close, nice chat with the coffee shop staff, wander the empty(ish) aisles and back home with plenty of morning left.
Not so today and I felt decidedly frazzled by the busy buzz of everything.
I no longer feel obliged to chat to anyone who brings my energy down and don't watch the news more than once a day.
I try to find meaning in life through nature, interesting books & hobbies and pursuits
Peace and calm are my number one goals and I work at filtering out a lot of the other 'life noise' that might other wise impact my welbeing.
I personally believe that we are not meant to know all the things all the time!

Thank you for your comments and I think I needed to hear them! My husband says I’m like a Rottweiler when I get going. I can hardly believe this is me…so maybe I need to be more considerate!,

Two hackneyed sayings, but hackneyed because they are true

It is not what you say but the way that you say it Express your opinions but in a more measured way and allow for the fact tha other people may disagree with you

Discretion is the better part of valour Sometimes is best to rein your opinions in and say nothing.

Fara56

I have a friend, one I’m trying to distance myself from. She’d say she’s just speaking the truth, or her mind. I, & multiple other people just find her rude

There is a fine balance here

Agree. Also it plays into the 'karen' stereotype. Angry older white lady who complains and gets angry at everything.

My Mother used to speak her mind and at times it was extremely embarrassing.
She had an opinion on everyone and everything.
On one occasion she became annoyed because a nan sitting near us in a cafe had a snake tattoo.
She called our GP a moron.
She told the consultant to make her a sandwich .
I've noticed that some of our parishioners are really difficult and can be insultingly rude.
I have several older friends and one of them is the most appalling racist expressing her views in front of non - white people .
I notice that ,as I age words seem to spill out of my mouth .

Stillness

Does anyone find that as they get older, they speak their mind more…..even get angry more easily? I’m struggling to cope with the fall out from this. When younger, I was much less assertive but now…I just can’t seem to stop myself. I feel that it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of me, I’ll voice my opinion whatever, and sometimes it causes problems by being so forthright! Perhaps I should try harder to exercise some self discipline?

A sudden loss of empathy is concerning. Have you been under stress or ill recently?

‘Words seem to spill out of my mouth’. Exactly, Esme.
And yes DaisyAnne I have been both ill and stressed and I wonder if that has a bearing on it…although I shouldn’t really make excuses.

Stillness

‘Words seem to spill out of my mouth’. Exactly, Esme.
And yes DaisyAnne I have been both ill and stressed and I wonder if that has a bearing on it…although I shouldn’t really make excuses.

Illness and stress can make us more short tempered and unable to 'suffer fools gladly'. You do have a good excuse and hopefully you will be less blunt as time goes on.

There have been instances of «I speak as I find» more than once here on GN and it could seem to bear out that we often operate on a shorter fuse than when we were younger.
That does not excuse Grumpy Old Man/Woman syndrome though does it?
Yes, pain, infirmity, being on medication, or health worries can sap our energy and we all know that it can take more energy and patience to zip it.
What I react to is when people take a pride in being outspoken to the point of rudeness. Old age does not give us that right and all the more so if we expect respect or any sort of deference in return.
I find it easy to be grumpy, but try to keep it to myself. If you are genuinely worried about your lack of filters OP perhaps you do need to talk to somebody about it.
It could be a symptom of early onset dementia, of a UTI or something not at all serious.
Think first, speak second is useful advice for us all, whatever age,

Stillness

‘Words seem to spill out of my mouth’. Exactly, Esme.
And yes DaisyAnne I have been both ill and stressed and I wonder if that has a bearing on it…although I shouldn’t really make excuses.

It's not an excuse! If you feel you can I would have a word with your doctor and see if you can get some counselling. Being angry can hurt you as much as it hurts someone else. I know "our generation" doesn't do this as easily as younger generations but it can be very worthwhile.

They may also do blood tests. As we get older our bodies don't work as effectively as they once did.

I find my levels of irritation are so much higher now I am older. I have a very thin filter when reacting to other people's 'froth'. I do keep my distance and removed myself from one WI group as the leader was so rude, I knew that if I lost it with her, which I would have done, I would most likely have been chucked out! She simply wasn't worth it.

Was always a people pleaser but since becoming a full time carer for my DH I find my patience can now be stretched very easily. But I do try to bite my lip and count to ten. There were several matriarchs in my family when I was younger and they were incorrigible, most people would head for cover when they saw them coming. Was one of them who chose to tell me in front of other family members that I would never amount anything. After that my mum and dad didn’t visit her very often and certainly never insisted I go with them.

SpinDriftCoastal

I find my levels of irritation are so much higher now I am older. I have a very thin filter when reacting to other people's 'froth'. I do keep my distance and removed myself from one WI group as the leader was so rude, I knew that if I lost it with her, which I would have done, I would most likely have been chucked out! She simply wasn't worth it.

Well done.
That is exactly how I deal with these kind of situations now. Removing myself is so much better than finding myself removed.

Thinking a little more about this, it's not really unusual to see people seeming to get angrier as they get older. Being cross with a specific type of person may just be one outlet for that anger. I wonder if it's a reaction to a loss if autonomy, the feeling that you/we no longer have the control over our own life, that making independent decisions is getting mote difficult?

Oh, the irony!