Going Dutch

When we go to the bar to pay at the end of a meal we each pay our share. We tell the person with the machine what we have had and they give us each our own bil and receipts againts the table number.

Us girls use to go for a meal when it was a birthday. So maybe Chinese £25 per head, £2.00 each for tip, then drinks.
The bill was always split equally, now three of us don’t drink, so either a coke, or glass of water, which I would buy at the bar on the way in.
These girls would be on double vodka cokes, bottles of wine. When the bill would arrive, my £27 bill always turned into a £50 odd pound bill.
I just never found it to be fair.
I’d just pay so that I didn’t look tight fisted.
In the end what was a good night out just ran its course.

If it’s just coffee and cake we take it in turns to pay, however I have one older friend who rarely seems to remember and sits back and waits for me to pay.
I allow this now and again but say firmly ‘it’s your turn to pay’ sometimes as I think she genuinely forgets.
If it’s a meal out we pay our own bill.

I have a niece who has been on an over 50s dating site for a while and been on several dates.

A surprising number of her dates seem to keep their wallet in their other trousers/jacket or simply come out without it. The end result is of course that she ends up paying for both. This is particularly galling as it is still the man who asks for the date and he chooses the venue. Several have also been rather put out that they are not invited back to her flat afterwards.

I am not suggesting that a man should always pay for a woman but surely they should be prepared to go Dutch.

I agree "stomping off" what did the friend expect? you to stump up, why should anyone do that. Absolutely going Duch is reasonable. Sometimes, with friends, we'll treat each other on say a birthday, but there's no set in stone expectation about that.

ferry23

I must be having a thick moment. Why did your friend "stomp off" when picking up the bill?

If someone expects me to pay for their lunch I'd either do so on the understanding we taken it in turns or if you don't want to pay for them make that clear when you plan the meet up. Something along the lines of...

"Looking forward to it - let's clear up any uncertainty now and agree that we split the bill betwen us, it's so much easier that way. Although I do reserve the right to treat you on your birthday!

👏👏👏👏👏

I must be having a thick moment. Why did your friend "stomp off" when picking up the bill?

If someone expects me to pay for their lunch I'd either do so on the understanding we taken it in turns or if you don't want to pay for them make that clear when you plan the meet up. Something along the lines of...

"Looking forward to it - let's clear up any uncertainty now and agree that we split the bill betwen us, it's so much easier that way. Although I do reserve the right to treat you on your birthday!

Maybe a kitty is the answer

I hate it when we go out with the family as we don’t know who’s paying. Mum will sneak up to the counter & sort it out, or DB sorts it.
If I am paying, I will say meal, such & such place, date, our treat, but then when I go to pay someone in the party has picked up the tab. Up to press only managed to pay for one meal out- it just makes me feel tight.

This doesn't really happen to me because my friends and I have an understanding that we share the bill. But if my best mate said he would pay for lunch, and wouldn't let me pay something, saying I could pay for the next one, I would probably do this - the money I took with me but didn't use would be put to one side for the next time. I would them only have to find the money for his meal.

I normally say let’s just pay for our own. Or else I offer.