Gransnet forums

Relationships

60 years married

(82 Posts)
Riversidegirl Mon 08-Dec-25 10:43:22

I'm feeling I do everything domestically. Husband does do DIY, computer stuff etc, but I'm houseworking most of the time. Cook at home because I need to be careful of cholesterol, and eating out can be difficult. Can't see any way out of it.

Purplepixie Mon 15-Dec-25 03:35:06

I get frustrated with my DH. So now I do less housework and more hobbies. You won’t live forever my mam used to say so why not do what you want to do now. Leave the dusting for another day.

BridgetPark Thu 18-Dec-25 17:02:44

Sparkynan, I have the same dilemma. I am a coward and so scared of being unable to cope on my own. But how I would love to have my own little flat, not be answerable to my disapproving husband. Never been especially happy, even after 3 wonderful children. He just doesn't want to do anything. I am lucky I have a wonderful sister who I can go out with anytime, and a friend who is a neighbour, who I go to N.T. places with. But I do not know if I can sustain this relationship, I am now 70, he could go on for another 20 years...

Stansgran Thu 18-Dec-25 17:29:53

We have been married 56 years and in that time there have been many changes. I did everything for home ,family and my work as DH had the sort of work that required blood sweat and tears in those days. When he retired he took over finances but was never interested in domesticity. Now I’m in trouble with disintegrating bones and he is on a steep learning curve as he is also losing his sight. I can drive but life is miserable for him as he’s always been a petrolhead. I always thank him for whatever he has done,whether it’s bringing in the milk bottles or hanging up his shirts. It doesn’t hurt anyone to say thank you. If someone one on here expresses frustration at their marriage there is always someone who pops up with a “ so glad I’m on my own” remark which I feel is unhelpful and in a way unpleasantly gloating over someone who is unhappy. I wish they wouldn’t.
Too many someones .

grannygran Mon 22-Dec-25 13:35:17

We were married 64 yrs before my husband passed away.
I can't think why your spending all day cleaning?
We did share most jobs but I'd often say can you to A while I do B..I cooked most meals but he always washed up. Never owned nor wanted a dishwasher.
The only cooking he did was boiled eggs and 'soldiers'wink when we'd been to the farm for fresh eggs or beans on toast.. he was happy as was I..we joked about it.
Cut down on your daily chores. Half of them can't be nessesary.

Magenta8 Mon 22-Dec-25 13:55:54

I read that women now do more DIY and are better at it than men. I also read that, statistically, women still do most of the household chores, food shopping, cooking and child care. Apparently the majority of women with partners go out to work.

It is beginning to make me wonder if some men are working towards a situation where they do absolutely nothing.

Having said that, I am sure there are thousands of brilliant men out there who do more than their fair share.

M0nica Mon 22-Dec-25 16:21:20

DD is as good at DIY as her Dad. DS and I share an equal ineptitude.