Caught between 2 sisters - any advice?

Sister who has care of your mother is clearly not being kind, but it is her house and she can make her own choices.

What does your mother want?

I don't think you should get involved. It is your younger sister's house, not your mum's or yours. Your sister has the right to choose who is welcome in her home. What does your mum want?

Of course visits should be allowed!
Not allowing your mum to see family is a huge concern.

Surely if the sister whose house it is could go out for an hour and allow the other sister to visit. Perhaps you could be there to chaperone. Despite it being her house, I really don’t think your sister has the right to deny her sister an occasional visit to her mother.

When you take someone vulnerable in to share your home, it also becomes theirs, too, so all this "her house, her rules" doesn't wash.

It's abuse. Plain and simple.

I agree Miss Adventure. A parent who probably doesn’t have a long time to live should be allowed to see her daughter.

I have a little experience of a similar situation. Yes, it is your younger sister's house but is also your mother's home too, she just happens to share that home with her daughter. If your mother wants to see her other daughter, and it's reasonable that she would, I think it's rather cruel of younger sister to deny her that in view of her advancing years and declining health. If younger sister feels so strongly about it, perhaps she could go into another room for an hour or so, so that she wouldn't have to see her sibling. Afterall, if your mother was living in her own home, or a nursing home, she would be able to have anyone she wanted to visit her in her declining years. Younger sister is putting her own grievances before the wishes of her elderly mother.

Your poor mother! How dreadful that she can't see one of her daughters because of a family feud. I agree with both Maddyone and MissAdventure, and perhaps it's time to bang two stupid heads together and remind them that the only person who matters here is Mum.

Why did the two sisters stopped talking? What created the fight?

How long has been your mother been taken care of by one of those sisters and living at her home?

From your description your two sisters fell out, your Mum didn’t fall out with any of her daughters. On that basis you certainly aren’t being unreasonable to believe a visit should happen The choice that was made wasn’t for your Mum to be separated from one of her daughters. As has already been suggested for your Mum’s sake surely the resident sister could go out for a while to enable a visit. Doesn’t have to be a long one. Otherwise, I know this isn’t the same, could anything be done with FaceTime or something similar? This is about your Mum’s needs, not her warring daughters. Having said all that you are in a horrible situation, you sound both physically and emotionally exhausted. I imagine you have anxiety about being banned yourself. Perhaps what is right won’t be able to happen this time, if so please remember it’s not your fault.

Hithere

Why do you need to know these things?

Roses, I agree. The cause and timeline of the initial fall out between the sisters is irrelevant here. What matters now is that a very elderly, sick lady is being denied access to one of her daughters by the actions of one of them.

Roses
Because things are not black and white, there are plenty of shades of gray in the middle

I am not happy to condemn the sister who is taking care of the mother without more information.

It's a contravention of a basic human right.
I would be informing the sister of this, and telling her I would be reporting it, unless she changed her stance.

How long did the fight between sisters happen
When did your mother move in with one of those sisters?

Regardless of any of those details, the mum has the right to have relationships of her own.

Timing is not irrelevant, in fact, it is the most relevant

If the mother moved in with one of the sisters after the siblings fought and cut off happened, I can see how the mother may be perceived to pick on sister over the other, for example.

Expecting the sisters to "get along and tolerate each other" for the sake of the mother is very unrealistic.

Why is this board so allergic to gathering more facts to give better feedback?

My feedback is this, and it is the most important fact.
It's abuse.

It is the sister's house but its also her mother's home as Chewbacca said, it's sad that this feud is affecting a person who was not involved in it. A little kindness and forgiveness would go a long way. It must be very difficult for you being caught in the middle Traviata.

Her bullying abusive behaviour is unacceptable and it must be heart breaking for you and your mother to see. Sorry I don’t have any answers. Sending you love and hugs.

I feel so sorry for your mother in all this, just because two sisters have fallen out surely doesn’t have to mean the poor mum can’t see one sister on occasion, it’s her daughter after all, yes it’s the younger sisters home, but she has to remember it’s also her mums, why can’t the younger sister go out for a couple of hours or FaceTime etc, ridiculous situation poor mum

I suppose, for me it depends on why your sisters fell out.

Your sister has the right to decide who is in her house. Is it possible for you to take your mother out for an hour?

Getting in the middle of this will win you no favors. You run the risk of losing one, if not both of your sisters.

Is it possible for you to take your mother out for an hour?

Traviata says in her OP:
she’s virtually immobile and fully dependent for all daily activities. She’s recently been very ill
(she’s 92)

"despite the best efforts of me and our mother this cannot be healed. As a retired nurse of 45 years in the profession I have most of the conciliatory skills off pat, nothing worked."

This is a huge mistake that people make - adults intervening on other people's disagreements, making it worse.

Then the problem that originated the fight becomes secondary and what is said by whom and why becomes the issue.

We do not know what OP or the mother said or did trying to fix this.
This very much have an impact on what is going on now.

Bottom line: let adults fix their own issues and stay aside.

Bring elderly just doesnt give you priority yo override everything going on around you so you get what you want