So upset by my domineering brother

Perhaps your brother doesn’t even realise it’s Mother’s Day, sazz. Men are like that.
I agree with everyone else who says be thankful that your brother takes such an interest in your sons.
Mothers’ Day really shouldn’t be such a big deal. It’s only a day.

Bluebell, yes I would expect everybody to know it is Mother’s Day today! They’ve had the cards in the shops since Christmas, next to the Easter cards and it’s been on TV for a month.

Can't blame your sons for cashing in on your brother's offer - sounds too good to miss!

This does not mean that your contribution would not also be appreciated - ?perhaps offer to pay for solicitors/carpets etc - whatever fits your budget. I am sure that they understand your financial circumstances and will appreciate your kind though of contributing within your means.

By the sounds of your brother, he probably did not even know it was Mothers' Day. Enjoy your evening out with your sons.

ooopsadaisy In my admittedly fairly limited experience, when men venture into shops it is not to gaze about, being side-tracked by all the marketing ploys and seasonal displays.
They stride purposefully and single-mindedly towards their intentioned purchases, buy them and then stride out again, job done.
Not everyone watches television.
I had no idea it was Mother’s Day until someone posted on GN about a Mothers day-related problem last week.
So it is quite possible, if not likely, that sazz’s brother didn’t realise today was the day.

Blimey oopsadaisey I don’t know one man who would know it was Mother’s Day if their wife /mother / girlfriend didn’t nudge them Most men don’t wander round shops looking about them they go to electrical shops/ gadget shops/ bike car places And are usually very single minded looking for whatever it was they came in for Wonen meander around looking and touching everything in sight Male/ female shopping is totally different I don’t think I d even get a birthday card from my son if his wife didn’t do it she even writes it and she knows my likes so presents are always to my taste it doesn’t mean my son doesn’t love me just that he’s happy to hand it all over
Don’t underestimate the gender differences a bachelor man probably has no idea it’s Mother’s Day

I cannot understand why you don’t all go out to lunch together - surely it was easy enough for them to suggest you joined the threesome - or did they just want a ‘boys’ lunch? Your brother sounds a caring man and whoever suggested the lunch he would probably have happily agreed for you to join them when told it was. Mothers day. But being men no one probably realised it was mother’s day till after they had made the reservation - men are total dopes sometimes.
I am amazed that your sons could contemplate going out for two meals in one day - maybe they don’t intend eating for the rest of the week!,

I doubt your brother knew Mothering Sunday when he ask them to lunch. They are in their 30s, old enough to accept gifts and meals without upset to you. Offer up something for their new homes, after they get settled. They will have many needs in their homes and gardens. Mostly, be happy for your boys.

DH had no idea it was Mother’s Day, and wondered about the flowers and card his daughter gave me earlier in the week when we looked after DGS!

I can sort of relate to how the OP feels, as I have an unmarried sister with no children who feels she has a right to be included in the lives of her nieces and nephews, not seeming to notice that our sister and myself did actually give birth and do all the hard work involved with raising children, she just has the good bits!

Surely it is a sign of your success as a mother that your brother likes your sons so much that he wants to be so generous to them.

I have a friend (femail) who is unmarried and childless, and very well off and she dotes on her nephews and has channelled very large sums of money to them able to buy themselves a ahome. For one, who doesn't earn much, she bought a house outright. This is far more than her brother and his wife could possibly afford to give their children. But they remain on the best of terms and the nephews do not think less of their parents because they are not as well off.

Do you ever invite your brother to join you at family events when your sons are with you. I get a picture of a rather fractured relationship. If you and your brother could build, or rebuild a relationship together around your boys, then many of these problems could be solved.

Hi everyone. I’ve just come back from a lovely meal out with my boys in town. We had a bit of a laugh over my brother and his weird ways and I told them that when they get their new homes I’d like to give them £*** to help them with furnishing/white goods/expenses etc and they were delighted and surprised.
Thanks NonnaW -maybe we should get my brother and your sister together!
MOnica, despite my hidden feelings, my brother and I have a very good relationship and I still feel very responsible for him(he’s younger than me) since his first day at school when he decided to do a runner at morning playtime thinking that was school done forever?. He is always included in our family get togethers, in fact he was complaining that he hasn’t had a decent Sunday dinner since New Year’s Day
when he came to me. Unfortunately it’s always down to me to arrange these meals. I/we have never had a meal at his house in 30 years. Ive cooked Xmas dinner every year for 40 years. I’ve suggested we go round to him and he doesn’t need to cook, we can just get a take away but he refuses. I think the reason is that if he comes to me, when he’s had enough he can say ‘right, I’m off’ but if we all go to him he doesn’t have much control!
So once again, thanks for your thoughts and insights but I have had a lovely day

Glad you had a good time sazz