Devastated

I am sure that Grannyactivist feels for Npanteli. Most of all I think that someone seeking help wants to feel normal and not some hopeless victim. When I have been in trouble the last thing I wanted was people feeling sorry for me.

Yes Alexa taking back control when something terrible happens is one of the best steps towards coping with it. In the immediate shock of the discovery, people usually need support and often need somebody to look after them which is why I recommend our Npanteli to talk to a friend and go to her doctor.

Npanteli explained she is devastated, which is not surprising. It would take a very unnatural person not to feel sorry for someone who had happen to them what she has gone through. People commiserating, supporting, comforting a person in distress is a good human reaction and most people feel better for such support when experiencing the shock of something awful in their life.

Luzdoh, I like what you said. When was in my own trouble I felt too ashamed to seek help from anyone I knew, Fortunately for me I met someone who knew about the less attractive aspects of relationship trouble. Also I could afford the cost of some counselling.
I'd have loved some of what you recommended but it was not available to me. Except for my dogs. What was more consolation than anything were a chance remark from my daughter in law, and a humorous comment from a woman I did not know from whom I went to buy a bed ! These comments allowed me to feel normal and part of the human race instead of shut inside a nightmare.