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Arranged marriage

(59 Posts)
grannyactivist Fri 16-Mar-12 00:53:50

My last lodgers were a couple from India who recently got married. It was an arranged marriage, but they both agreed to it after having been introduced and each being told about the other. Their families thought that it would be a good match and by the time the couple came to stay with me it was obvious that they were both very pleased with the pairing. They were both very supportive of arranged marriages - I was wondering what Gransnetters think?

foxie48 Tue 02-Jun-26 09:21:06

Forced marriage and underage marriages are illegal not just in the UK but also in India and Pakistan. It's of note that in four American states there is no minimum age and in one it is 15 and there have been "marriages" of girls as young as 9! From 1978 in India the minimum age for marriage of a woman is 18 and 21 for a man whereas it was still legal for 16 year olds to marry in the UK until 2023 and it's still legal in Scotland.

Oreo Tue 02-Jun-26 09:41:32

It may be illegal but it still happens.
Likewise dowry was banned in India in the 1960’s but is still up and running in 2026 both in India and here and no doubt in many other countries amongst Indian communities.

Oreo Tue 02-Jun-26 09:44:13

Last year in India there were not far off 7, 000 dowry deaths where brides died.

Oreo Tue 02-Jun-26 09:46:05

Young men and women, usually still teenagers are taken to India or Pakistan for a ‘ holiday’ and are married off there.

Oreo Tue 02-Jun-26 09:48:55

As others say, an arranged marriage is fine as long as both parties are happy with it, and it’s more like an introduction.

MawsRosie Tue 02-Jun-26 09:58:01

Another ( very) old thread!
An arranged marriage is not necessarily the same thing as a forced marriage. In the case of the former, that is entirely their business.
If the latter , wrong and as I understand, illegal in this country as in many others.

Basgetti Tue 02-Jun-26 12:01:28

Entirely depends on the circumstances. Educated, independent woman with free will, that’s her choice.
A much younger girl with no agency being married off to an older man, big, fat No.

Maremia Tue 02-Jun-26 13:53:49

A story from decades ago, which has stuck with me.
A young Italian woman spurned her suiter, was kidnapped, then assaulted.
The expectation was that she would regain her honour by marrying her abuser.
She refused, and backed by her parents, very unusual at that time, took him to court.
The bit I remember was footage of her walking to court, and the locals coming out to surround and protect her from being shot.