Green councillor gets grandkids to send Valentine cards to immigrants at Crowburgh

Shame on her, what an idiot.

Valentine’s Day is about romance, surely, not love, I don’t understand why some parents and grandparents feel they need to celebrate it with a child, but this stupid councillor is sending a terrible message.

If she had decided to get children to write valentines to the inhabitants of the local homeless centre or the local rugby club I would have also suggested it was a bad idea.

DAR Many children make them for family members, and I always thought of them as a way to show love rather than anything sexual. It seems that for some, Valentine's Day takes on a more complex meaning.

Exactly, for family members, friends not total strangers. When has this councillor encouraged the making and sending of Valentine cards by her grandchildren to other adult strangers?

Hadn't refreshed the page so I missed your post Galaxy.
I agree completely, it's a safeguarding issue and she seems to be wilfully ignoring it.

Tells you everything you need to know about the Greens

Yep.

I think you’ve been lucky perhaps DAR

I think it was wrong to enlist young children to send these cards and messages because they are not really able to make an informed choice. If adults choose to send cards and messages I think that is a kind thing to do and perfectly OK.

I feel the same about children routinely being handed flags of greetings and support on royal occasions, but that rarely raises any objections.

The only instances where I felt disrespected came from ....... public school boys, who carried that sense of entitlement.
All public school boys?
A few public school boys maybe, surely not an entire cohort. Merely a small group of them then?
Your choice of words there sounds just like the language your abhor being used to describe certain people.

The best wording to describe this idea, used by a poster on this thread a few pages back, is inappropriate. Totally.

Syracute

The cards are just a harmless gesture as they are anonymous.
I am sure they bring a smile to these people.
I think irs not easy being in an immigrant. People make snap judgements and it’s just appalling.

Harmless gestures…..cards with hearts and kisses from children! .
What an unbelievably stupid thing to suggest. I hope she’s got consent from the parents before she goes ahead with this.

MartavTaurus

^The only instances where I felt disrespected came from ....... public school boys, who carried that sense of entitlement.^
All public school boys?
A few public school boys maybe, surely not an entire cohort. Merely a small group of them then?
Your choice of words there sounds just like the language your abhor being used to describe certain people.

I totally agree and I hope that it does not include my sons who are public school educated. .

Eloethan

I think it was wrong to enlist young children to send these cards and messages because they are not really able to make an informed choice. If adults choose to send cards and messages I think that is a kind thing to do and perfectly OK.

I feel the same about children routinely being handed flags of greetings and support on royal occasions, but that rarely raises any objections.

My initial reaction was to be persuaded by your argument eleothan, but sitting thinking about how we teach our children about our culture, our norms and social expectations, I feel that a grandmother teaching her grandchildren that there are people in the world, who have nothing, who are fleeing fear , violence and death and consequently writing an anonymised greeting to them is an example of desirable empathy and how social community functions.

However, I do as I mentioned above, think it misguided to use St Valentine’s Day to send the message, and it both inappropriate and naive.

Never the less teaching children empathy and community can imo be nothing but desirable.

So, how many poor ( possibly destitute) people fleeing their country are mentioned in the Epstein files.

Prejudice is just an opinion, not a proven fact. Making assumptions about someone based on their race or background is unfair and unfounded.

I only ever got one valentines card at school. Inside the lad had drawn a hot dog, being naive back in the day, I never got it 🥴

"Making assumptions about someone based on their race or background is unfair and unfounded"

It is also unfair and unfounded to make assumptions that all of the illegal immigrants are fleeing persecution, fear, violence and death. Many are also just economic migrants

DaisyAnneReturns

Allira

DaisyAnneReturns

Allira

Never mind the Valentine card and its mixed message maybe some instruction, is there ever any? about how to behave in a respectful way around host communities

I suggested that on another thread but it was not well received!
As well as English language lessons, some lessons in the cultures and norms of the country which they hope will become home would be a good idea for them and for the wider population too.

Perhaps this Councillor could set about arranging that instead, rather than sending them the wrong message.

Who would teach the "respectful behaviour"? Those who don't apply the same rules to themselves?

You're putting words into my mouth which I did not say DAR
(Not for the first time.)

I said cultures and norms.

respectful, then, if that is what you think is appropriate

I did not put words in your mouth. In fact you quoted your own post with those words while telling me I was misquoting - unless that was you quoting someone else while not attributing it?

Perhaps you didn't realise, DAR, but putting ^^ around words, phrases or paragraphs on GN means you are quoting someone else's post.
That's why that part of my post in ^ came up in italics ^like this.

I was answering another poster and I still think that providing English lessons and some general lessons in our norms and culture in the UK would be a God idea.

I didn't use these words: about how to behave in a respectful way
Learning about our way of life, our culture, our laws and civics which seems sensible to me if we want an integrated society in future.

Hope that helps.

God idea quoting myself

Or even a good idea.

"It's important to recognise that immigrants are not a monolithic group and many have already been exposed to values and social dynamics similar to those in Western societies. Rather than using fear based rhetoric, we should focus on effective policies to protect all citizens regardless of origin.

I think most of us know that the men who seek asylum in western countries are not a homogeneous mass, they emanate from countries across north Africa, sub Saharan Africa and the Middle East with their own distinct cultures, customs and standards.

However, you refer to effective policies to protect "all citizens regardless of origin" I'm not sure that's always worked both ways. The unprecedented mass sexual assaults of over 1,000 women in Cologne by men of North African origin, originally covered up by an embarrassed government who just wanted the problem to never have existed and go away doesn't therefore at times extend to the indigenous populations. There are cultural differences that "some" of those that emanate from north African countries for example can be reflected in behaviour patterns that aren't effectively dealt with by their governments. For example, Tahir Square in Egypt has been known for its mass sexual assaults of women, commonplace during festivals and political protests. The modus operandi is for a smaller group of men to encircle a woman, where an outer circle physically deter anyone from trying to intervene, the woman would then be stripped of her clothes and be assaulted both vaginally and anally. These incidents have been documented by Egyptian Women's Rights Organisations and the United Nations. Such an assault happened to CBS Reporter Lara Logan, who stated in the aftermath she was lucky to escape with her life. The onus of whatever a woman might suffer in such a scenario is often placed right back at her, as a woman she should not be out in the cut and thrust, but indoors.

Whitewavemark2

Galaxy

I don't know how to explain it to you any more. Often under the guise of kindness people do things which compromise safeguarding.
I am sure this woman thinks she is being kind, compassionate whatever.

What I am asking for is examples - at the moment all I have is your opinion.

Opinions are what most of us post here.

I feel it’s deeply inappropriate for children to send Valentine messages of romantic love to anyone, no matter who they are.

In fact I’m uneasy that even small children in some schools are encouraged to send Valentines cards to each other, they do not need boyfriends or girlfriends at the tender age of five or six. My dd feels very strongly about this issue and makes her views very clear.

Teaching children to treat others with respect and fairness is what matters, imo.

SueDonim There are Valentine's cards for sale on Etsy and other sites for children to send to their teachers too.
As for sending them at age 5 or 6 to each other, it's just wrong.

It has become just another verging-on-tacky Hallmark Day, sadly.
It was exciting and often disappointing when we were young to see if we got a Valentine's card on 14th February and wonder who it was from but it seems to have completely lost its meaning now.

When I say young I mean 17+

TerriBull I’m puzzled as to why you’ve launched into details about two ‘mass sexual assaults’ . It comes across as fearmongering. The vast majority of posters on this thread think the idea of the cards was at best inappropriate as nd at worst totally unacceptable. . My concerns were about mixed messages being sent to the migrants especially in the sensitive area of relationships . I felt that was unfair on the men. Some people then discussed the need for cultural induction of some kind. The advantages of this would be two way helping both the migrants and the host community. It’s not an either/or. - both sides benefit if there’s a clear understanding of the host country’s
cultural norms.

A very foolish and silly thing to do. I would call our this councillors judgment.
I wonder if she is nieve because this sounds inappropriate.

Often threads meander off the original issue.

My opening paragraph is a quote from DAR point about immigrants not being part of a monolithic group and the possible influences from where they have emanated. Influences that have skewed behaviour patterns that are odds with western society. Problems that have arisen in misunderstanding how society is framed here possibly because they have not been sufficiently inculcated in what is and isn't acceptable.