Black Dogs 29

Sweetpeasue yes I had a nice day thanks. Coffee with friends this morning then catch up with DS2 at the hospice this afternoon. Weather brightened up and it’s quite warm now. Scaredycat how lovely you can meet up with your DD and SIL. Your village sounds lovely. Nice to have them so close, so pleased your friends Dh is making such good progress. They must be pleased. Wow that’s a lot of photos. How does your iPad cope with storing so many. I think mine would have a wobble.
HVDY I don’t have reviews with our GP either. It’s good you and your Dh so. Pleased your brother is coming over. Your meal sounds delicious.
Ellie Anne it doesn’t sound as though you’ve got anything in common with your Dh and he’s not very helpful round the house. Not surprised you’re fed up with the situation if you have to do everything. Hope you had a nice time with your friend at Costa this morning.
Wyllow I’m doing really well. Yes everything went ok with the op. Not in any pain and my fingers are working ok.
Glad you’re enjoying your Quaker zooms. Good you can have this chance to talk to other groups,

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Doodle Glad you're not in much pain and fingers working normally is a very good sign. The nice weather will make a huge difference to your hospice visits- much more pleasant. Xx
Wyllow How are you today?
Here's some photos you asked for.

ScaredyCat I've already told the GP I'm not willing to take any extra BP meds (I've been on 6 different ones and am only on Ramipril now). I Googled "use of bed rails in care homes"...

When not managed correctly, bed rails can introduce more hazards than they prevent:Entrapment: Fatalities have occurred when a resident’s head, neck, or limbs become trapped between the mattress and the rail, or between the rails themselves.Falls During Transfer: Residents may attempt to climb over the rails, leading to falls from a greater height.Restricted Movement: Rails can limit a resident's ability to adjust themselves, restricting movement and sometimes inadvertently acting as an improper physical restraint.

Beds that can be lowered are favoured nowadays, with a mat on the floor.

I first knew my SIL when we worked together at B.T., when I was about 20 (she was 24). I set her up for a blind date with my brother, and they got married and had a daughter. He died 23 years ago, aged 54. It's nice that you can get together with your daughter now that she's retired.

Wyllow3 My SIL is actually more active than I am, but very slow. I've got a walking stick, but I don't use it as I don't want to become reliant upon it. You needn't feel guilty about Mr A. What will be will be. Carry on with your life and enjoy doing the things you used to find pleasure in - the park, bike rides, swimming, etc.

SweetpeaSue Does Fluffball want a treat when she whines? I can imagine those "guinea pig" noises

Doodle Our surgery is really good. It's a teaching practice, too, so we get a lot of newly-qualified GPs there. They all seem to be obsessed with BP and cholesterol, though. Glad you're doing so well and that you haven't been getting any pain in your wrist and fingers. The weather's meant to be very nice this weekend.

SweetpeaSue What beautiful baby outfits. They must have taken a while to do. They really are lovely. You're very skilled.

Brother ate his dinner, and we sat chatting (mainly about different jobs we'd had. He and his wife worked at the same organisation as I did, for 6 or so years. We all did different aspects of care work - he looked after men, whereas the majority of my clients had dementia. He went half an hour ago. Hope everyone has a restful night x

Your situation is so stuck, EllieAnne. Do you ever wonder if you might live alone ..... a quiet “living separately” agreement? I know there are lots of considerations - a divorce worked for me, but I have no illusions it is an easy path xx

Well HVDY I did smile at the “last day of baddie food” and wish you all the best starting tomorrow. I hope it goes OK with your brother.
Yes I get a MOT annually but that might be because I am now 75, and I imagine your health conditions would put you on their “check up” list. Mine is a teaching surgery too. I hope it goes as well as it can with your brother.

I’m surprised you aren’t offered an MOT, Scaredycat. Or maybe different MOT’s. Mine only means a check in with the nurse who does a full range of tests which are then only followed up if something untoward shows up, or if you flag something up.
As regards rails, maybe they have been refused and it’s “an issue”?
But it’s great to hear that DH’s friend is doing well. Sounds like one determined person in there.

Its so nice that both DD and SiL live close by, more than ever as you go away less often. It works that way for me, it used to matter less.

You way beat me on the photos! I have culled them to a more modest nearly 3000, with more to enter as I photo more art stuff and dispose of the originals, but even then it’s likely to settle at 4000. I used to be very adept at editing indeed, but all the technology has changed since then big time and I would have to get up to speed.

I basically enjoy the simple stuff just as you do.

(Most of all I’d like to be close to Ds and family, but only having had one child I count myself lucky he is not much further away - when he was looking for that first crucial lecturer job, he had to go where the job was, and got promotion in the same uni.)

Oh my, I love those pictures, Sweetpeasue, what pretty little bobbly shoes…and the hearts…and the pink frilly bit!..you really are talented, you know, because it’s not just the technical stuff, you have a real eye for colour.
Some better weather is coming up soon - maybe you and DH can get onto that beach a bit more if you are feeling a bit better. I imagine you wont try and go to the lakes in the high season, it’s pricy.
You are doing right trying to get Fluff ball to behave a bit better, it’s clearly uphill work.

I’m glad to hear that you are doing well, Doodle - Yes the wiggly fingers are the big “tell”. I try to do what I did as a child -
'practice piano" on tables to the tunes to keep wiggling as they are stiffening up somewhat.

I'm very glad you got out to the hospice so soon and had a catch up with DS2. Isn’t it a treat to get sons or DD's on their own, family free for a little bit. I hope both sons and family are well.

Today has been very busy and successful, and I am expecting to want to take it very easy tomorrow. I got up late feeling very stiff indeed after the push on swimming I had yesterday:

but had to rush to get out to see new friend P. We had intended to go out for a drive to get her out into the high peak. (She has RA and of course cant drive). We get on so well and share troubles, hers are pretty substantial atm family wise, but have a laugh, and an art appreciation conversation, and have planned the outing when we can do it.

Then I went to the gym for a bit over an hour and rushed to the bedding shop as I expected the tree surgeon at 4pm:

I know what I wanted and it took me about 15/20 mins to buy my expensive but wonderful for backs mattress and pillows - and signed a no interest deal for a year. Well that was all easy, but working out all the bits for the credit search stuff when I got home, all the tax forms out…

Anyway the lovely tree surgeon came at 5.15 and I’m really happy with what is planned. I’ve discovered a vein of 30 somethings who are all doing craft trip jobs after a uni degree on other things - its like a network and has possibilities for help on other fronts.

I’ve set out to try and write as brief as possible, but I’m writing notes for next Fridays Zoom deciding on MrA et al.
I think it will take me all week as I’m writing it on the computer as in whatever comes out then re-ordering it, and go off onto angry riffs on stuff they know already which will all be cut.

Check in tomorrow, best nights possible for all BD's wether you post on here or not.

Wyllow3 ALL patients over 65 at my GP surgery are offered an annual review, not just those with a history of illnesses (my husband has never had anything). It's a really good medical centre. Glad you got sorted with a good mattress and pillows. DH and I both have the contoured pillows that are meant to be good for correct neck/spine alignment. Hope you find yours comfortable.

Bought a doll's house and dolls & furniture, for LG's birthday in a couple of weeks. Hard to believe she'll be 3. Hope ALL BDers have a decent day x

HVDY Aw your DB did come to dinner . So glad you both had a good chat about times past when you all worked together- sure he must appreciate you offering invitations to come together , even if he seems initially reluctant. Ah yes Fluffball sometimes wants a treat but she sometimes makes funny sounds if you just look at her to tell you she wants you to come over to her for cuddles.
Glad you liked the baby stuff - I really just follow the pattern but thanks.
LG nearly 3 ? Its scary how quickly time has passed.
Wyllow Its often for uni or chasing jobs that our AC move away. Its the way of things isnt it and I found it can create some distance too , not only miles, but I guess its them finding their own way in the world and often with luck, having a family of their own. You are still part of your son and he, you. Its great you can see each other and he and the family not too far.
Your friend P sounds lovely and its great she is in your life and uouve found each other.
Thanks for your kind words about the knitting. Ah yes, you're perceptive about the Lakes holidays- prices of cottages are ridiculous , more expensive than going abroad. Its far too busy in the summer too - parking a nightmare and more expense. We might try further north - Northumberland-- we"ll see. Energy low and moods low at present.

Back later

Fairly quiet day here. Bit of shopping done .Took dress back which looked awful on me ( or I looked awful in it) . Washing done, sown some radishes. So very windy here and blew my dress all over the place ( doing a Marilyn Monroe would not look great in chub rub knickers!)
Hope everyone has had a reasonable day. Love to all .x

Sweetpeasue oh did you knit those beautiful clothes. How clever you are. They look lovely.
I’ve got some of those knickers/shorts too. Just in case skirt blows up. Quite comfortable, I’ve been to a garden centre and bought two handbags and no plants.🤣
HVDY you do have a good surgery. Nice they check up on you. The dolls house sounds lovely I’m sure LG will love it.
Wyllow nice you took P out for an adventure. Glad you had a good day.
Scaredycat and Ellie Anne hope you’ve had the sunny weather today and maybe a walk or spent some time in the garden. It’s been lovely here.
I’m going to a party tomorrow afternoon. Hoping it stays dry but I can’t decide what to wear.

I think the beds that can be lowered is a good option, HVDY. It really is clear why bed rails can be hazardous for people who are confused - waking up for example with these bars and freaking out and so on. It seems to have been a reasonable evening with Brother, he got involved. That is a good medical centre.

I don’t like the contoured pillows, they just don’t work for me. I buy very good quality pillows, firm, but not too firm: I can squish them into just the right shape.

How lovely! A dolls house - what is it like? Is it a modern one or an old fashioned one? There is so much to play with, like making stories up of all the people who live in one. We used to do that with DS but with lego stuff.

Yes I am lucky with P, Sweetpeasue, she’s the first person I have come across in Quakers where we have just clicked since I came back last June. Too early to count on anything, tho, take it as it comes. Northumbria yes is an option but OTOH since you have seaside nearby and not feeling up to much it’s probably worth waiting for in the lakes when the costs go down? I’m glad you made a goo decision about the dress - if you feel it’s not right, go with that feeling.

I had to look up those knickers, I had never heard of them, tho of course I have seen them. At the gym big time a lot under shorts which is a good idea. My wider dresses - got some nice charity shop ones - are so long they wouldn’t blow up.

But just spare me the sight of thongs on anyone over 30 and a size 10 is all, please..

I wear mid calf or a bit higher dresses or skirts, can get away with them: I have some longish wide leg shorts for when it’s very hot that I wear with a big cooling blouse.

What were the handbags like, Doodle? sounds like a nice garden centre, its ages since I went in one, did you go with a friend, did they drive you?
Well tomorrow the temperatures isnt too warm but sort of long sleeve dress and cardi or jacket weather? I dont do jackets except for fleece.

I’vehas the day from hell really. I woke up sort of OK but very tired after busy days and decided to carry on taking photos or old art work in my cataloguing and throw away the not wanted project. After agouti half an hour I felt sweaty and very dizzy and panicking and thought I would pass out but lay down for a bit then ate something and went to bed where I dozed. What was upsetting was I’m pretty sure the panic attack was not just part of the story with MrA but about all the art work I did and getting quite well known a while then dropping it totally around 2004 and basically except for bits of ‘now and then” in groups have been unable to be an artist. A real, real destructive block.

The I woke up I saw a Quaker has sent me a message who is in my little spirit support groups (we havent met much, the group, recently, and its complicated by having QuakerD in)

but this Lady is nice and in Central meeting and does paintings, she came round to get a card signed. All was going well until I decided I needed to mention MrA because it could easily come up at Central and I wanted her to be informed: and I thought she would be kind: although she clearly thinks its awful she is another don't wanna know Quaker so many of them in this tale.

But if it had happened outside Quakers it would have been support all the way. Felt like s* afterwards but pottered and decided to look up being an artist and becoming known, then having a breakdown and not being able to carry on with it.

AI/google were actually very good with food for thought.
I never dealt well with the hostility as envy was brought on by success:

And also there are childhood things lurking around success and disapproval at me being better at something than my father - when he frequently said, “you’re too clever by half” it wasn't said kindly, and all my life I have underplayed or been frightened
that
success= not being loved.

And of course I went and chose a second husband who put me down a lot and I was brighter than him but after the first flush of love he took it out on me.

Live and learn, but the info on why not able to do art was good.

Hi all

Just finished a 2 hour Face Time with my Sister. So lovely to be able to see her as well as hear all the news.
Doodle- glad you are not having any pain with your wrist.
Oh a party this afternoon hope the weather stays nice- is it a garden party?
Yes we had a walk yesterday - then a trip to Pets at Home. What a jet setter life we lead😀
I think we pay for extra storage on the internet but I,m not sure.
SweetPeaSue- what absolutely beautiful knitting- you are so talented not only with the work but with the lovely colours too.
The Lakes are better when there are less visitors. Maybe you could go in the Autumn with the lovely foliage.
HVDY- thanks for the info re the beds. The lower ones with the mats sound better.
Glad your Brother did come for his dinner- so nice to be able to chat about old times.
Your surgery sounds so good- we never get anything like you describe.
I can’t believe LG is nearly 3 - that time has flown by. She will love her dolls house- I remember when we were little we used to put our cat in ours!!
Wyllow- sorry about your visitor not wanting to hear about MrA but perhaps she just wanted to stay out of it.
People can be envious of other people’s success. Also your father instilled in you the belief that if you were too successful nobody would love you. Rejoice in the fact you are talented and clever- do the things you are good at. Not everyone is like your Ex.
Nadateturbe- I hope you are OK
PurplePixie- hope you are having a lovely time with your friend .
EllieAnne- hope you,ve had some bright moments in your weekend
Love to all

Doodle Garden centres are not just for plants are they. We have one not far away that has a great selection of footwear , handbags and the like. I bought some crystal birds and hung them on my lit up birch tree ( fake!) There was a programme on yrs ago I remembered from my childhood called The Singing Ringing Tree . I call mine that. Hope youve enjoyed the party this afternoon- been dry but really cold here.
Wyllow Parents can say some things without thinking or really meaning them. I think its not just the words they day but the way theyre said that we always remember. My mum said some things quite often but I know she loved me - just didnt really understand me.
Like Scaredycat I think that Quaker lady just didnt want to get involved but that doesnt mean she didnt hear what you said and at least she knows your own side of it. Then you look at your art and it seemed another blow- remembering how 'known' you were in the art world around you. It doesnt matter though- your art is so good and you can hopefully share it with that group you were talking about a while back. Teaching and sharing may be a step forward.
Oh no my dress lengths are at least midis - my knees are awful.
Scaredycat 2hr facetious with your sister- my you must have had so much yo talk about. Lovely to get on like that. You made me smile about your walk and then visit to Pet Store being jet setter life. I feel like my days are so ordinary and dull compared to others here. Ive never had lots of friends though I do have my book group. Thanks for kind words about my knitting. Yes, the Lakes are a lovely place in the autumn with all its colour.

Hope everyone has been OK today.x

Scaredycat yes it was a garden party and a lovely afternoon. Most enjoyable but for some reason I’ve been very sad and upset since I’ve come home, can’t seem to settle to anything but it’s too early for bed.
How lovely you’ve had a long chat with your sister. Hope she’s doing well.made me laugh when you said you went to pets at home store. I bet those two lovelies of yours get very spoilt.
Wyllow I’m sorry you feel let down by your Quaker friend. The sad fact is that a lot of people just don’t want to get involved. They don’t want to take sides or have to make decisions. They just want to go along the path of least resistance. Sorry if she upset you.
I bought one striped canvas bag for day to day and a better quality beige one to go with my new shoes.
Sweetpeasue it was a big. Garden centre. Lots of gift ideas. Clothes bags and scarves and lots of other fun things to browse.
Party was nice. Lots of people I knew.
HVDY what have you been doing today? Are you making things to our tin LGS dolls house. My dad and my brother made mine when I was little and it had little lights in the rooms.

Doodle Glad you enjoyed the garden party. I expect feeling quite cheerful with friends then coming home to the quiet home must have been a big change . Im so sorry for your sadness so sending you a hug.
How livy of your dad and brother to make that dolls house fully equipped with little lights in the rooms- that must have been such a special present and a lovely memory. X

Two hours FaceTime chat with your Sis was a lovely way to spend the morning, Scaredycat. How is she healing leg wise- and how is niece? Still on the waiting list?

Glad to hear about the walk. I can imagine Pets at Home is a fun treasure trove for animal lovers - the de lux beds to curl in, the imaginative climbing and scratching posts, the toys….

Quaker visitor did want to stay out of it, I shouldn’t have pushed. It was just this stuff about oh I must have got over it by now etc - but wrong target.
As regards returning to art, I’m trying to let go of it, but recall with pleasure what I had achieved. It will either come back or it wont. Teaching is not the best thing art wise because its like - oh, helping others to do what I actually really want to do myself in that very time -
but Yoga teaching is a different matter as I love it and do it all the time.

Midi dresses are great, Sweetpeasue and they are very in fashion atm as well. It means we can sit in comfort and not the ladylike knees together if we don’t want to do that.
It’s interesting what you say about ordinary and dull days and other’s days. It’s sort of…well, in the mind as well as things done? Like, one can have a good day at home by some very good fortune - like the sun is out, you both are feeling OK, Fluffball is there, you pod around a bit, you are a bit calmer

- one could say “unexciting” but its a treasured day too, if you get what I mean?

It’s very understandable, Doodle. You go out and have an enjoyable time and the coming home along is the more sharply in focus as it’s the contrast. The can’t settle for anything times with this “lack” are very hard indeed. When one’s coping mechanisms are not working well. So just hugs and a glass of wine and may the time pass and tomorrow morning be just a little better than tonight xx.

edit to add - hi Sweetpeasue we came in to say the same thing hugs for Doodle

Quakers was gentle today as we have lost a well loved man, not a shock but sudden and he was tenderly remembered and we had “this and that” chats as well with no tensions: then a short gym, and I did my big shop before a snooze.

Wyllow3 The doll's house is a nice wooden one from Smyths toys. I had ordered a lovely one from Asda, but they kept saying there was a delay in sending it, then said it was out of stock. Then I looked at their website and saw that the price was now £45, an increase of £15. So cheeky! I cancelled and asked for a refund. Parents can say some things without realising the effect it will have on a child in later years. My dad once said I didn't look pretty when I cried. What a stupid thing to say, instead of comforting me.

ScaredyCat You and your sister love to chat! Two hours is good. My husband, like most men, wouldn't be able to talk for that long. What did you buy from the pet shop? Toys for the gorgeous boys?

Doodle Glad you had a lovely time at the party. Was it at someone's house? The weather was nice for it. My dad was a painter and decorator, so he papered the rooms in my doll's house and made some lights for it.

It's been a lovely but tiring day - LG was here from 8.15 to 6.15 - parents went to Shropshire for an air show. DH and I went to White Post Farm and park, which she enjoyed (we've taken her before). Got her all day tomorrow, our usual Monday. Hope everyone has a restful night x

HVDY I’m sure LG will love the dolls house. I always enjoyed playing with mine. Is it kitted out with furniture and things?
Yes the party was at a friends house. Due to the lovely weather we were in the garden all the time. Lovely you get to spend so much time with LG. It will be a bond she won’t forget,
Sweetpeasue I don’t mind so much the coming home. I just miss the cuddles and smiles and handholding. DH and I were always together and I miss his company so much.
How has your day been?
wyllow sorry about your Quaker friend. Glad today’s meeting was gentle and peaceful. You need a few more of those.
Scaredycat I met my friends cat at the birthday party yesterday. Can’t remember what breed it is but it was really tiny (although 7 years old) and had a small face a bit like a Siamese. It had such soft white fur but more like cotton wool than fur. So very very soft . Sweet little thing.

Doodle it's got some furniture with it but I've bought more, as well as some little people to go in it. We had LG as usual today. She's so funny and happy all the time, it's a joy to have her. Glad the weather was good for the party. Was it a buffet?

Sorry, have tried several times to post but brain is just like mush.Am so tired.

Hope you all have a peaceful night. Will come back tomorrow. Xx

Hi all
Doodle- glad you enjoyed the party. So nice to be outside and with friends. It’s the sharing that you miss isn’t it and being able to chat about your day. Although I,m sure you do it in your head when you get home.
That little cat sounds lovely- there is a very little fluffy cat called a munchkin but I don’t know what they look like. Kai’s fur is very soft and fluffy as you describe but Yuki has long silky fur - both the same breed though.
My sister is taking a long time to get back to normal. Not the hip repair but the wound on her lower leg is still large and her leg has to,be bandaged up
SweetPeaSue- your days are not boring or dull to my ears. It’s those ordinary things that make up most of our days. We are so lucky to be in peace and with our families.
You knit so beautifully,see after Fluffball and have your book club. That’s loads more than a lot of people do.
I,m sorry you feel so worn out- you need a rest from thinking too much.
Wyllow- Yes my Sis and I love our chats. In so many ways we are poles apart but always agree to differ and never argue. My neice is still waiting- you couldn’t make it up.
Pets at home is such a temptation- good job it’s not in walking distance!!
Yes Art is something for you personally - as you say it may or may not happen again. But your friendly and empathetic personality is ideal for a Yoga teacher not to mention your years of experience.
You’re right about those treasured unexciting days- they are the stuff of life.
HVDY- We only meant to get cat litter and kibble but somehow a scratch thing with a little hidy hole and a curved top fell into the trolley!!!
When I was chatting to my Sister I heard my BiL jokingly say in the background
“it,ll be dark soon” 🤣
LG is such a ray of sunshine in your lives- wht lovely memories you make for her.
EllieAnne- how was your weekend?
PurplePixie- do hope you are home safely now and that you had a great time.

Love to all

.

That dolls house sounds absolutely gorgeous, HVDY.

Well your Dad was rather misogynistic, wasn’t he? It’s a way of shutting girls and women up. (The trick is to make someone want to cry, then put them down for doing it)

That was a long day with LG! You must be tired and probably well in bed by now. It does help to have 2 of you with LG tho.

And Doodle is right - that bond will be strong and last forever. Of course you miss the cuddles. It’s one of the things I really miss. Unless one has little grandchildren there isnt a lot of opportunities. I’m sure we’ve asked before, but are you allowed a cat in your flat? An indoor older cat? It is rare to be able to do so.

Hello and good night xx Sweetpeasue.

Yes, I was thinking of the wound, Scaredycat. They take forever to heal one they have set in dont they as we get older. Poor Sis, she had borne so much. Is she your big or little sis? I forgot.
You clearly love each other a lot. Despite some differences. I liked the "cough cough" moment from DH.😉

Oh dear why doesn’t niece kick up a fuss? It feels so sad she wont.
Yes, I bet you have to keep a firm hold on your debit card in Pets are Us. I like the new purchase! My DS has one like that for their 2 cats, who tend to make an appearance in the living room once the children are not around, strange, that…😬…

Well, I have been productive today in the garden. And I am proud of that cos my head is in a very bad state.

After 3 hours from me, and one hour from cleaner friend N, the garden is just beginning to feel it might actually come under control after tomorrow's gardener visit, especially after a large patio has been shorn of its ghastly weeds in all the cracks, and the grass green stuff ceases to be 18 inches high in places and the weather is set fair too.

I shall be pretty stiff tomorrow, becuase the worst bit was leaning down or kneeling all the way up a very long path removing weeds from the surface. (And being naughty and spraying it with Weedol - not organic)

But the bedding plants are all in long bright in pots and on a nearby bed.....

But an old ghost had come, unsurprisingly, to visit. One of the mental health things I know the reasons for but cannot shift in my heart even if I understand it alll in my head, is that I am doing Terrible Damage in calling MrA out and asking for the meetings atm to be without him. He is old, tho very fit and with full capacity, and reason says I have every right to ask for what I have, but somewher din my head it says it will kill him off or cause a repaid decline and it will All Be My Fault.

This actually cones from some very sad and difficult childhood events,

and at least I now understand it and don’t just go straight to self hate, but its makes me very agitated and I am working out how to let people know I ma not a monster just need this, but in fact may not need to spell out out anymore, for goodness sake! But I can settle, bad anxiety, until I get a decision and reassurance hopefully will help.

Night night BD’s present, not posting today, hoping to see you in soon, and those just reading .

ScaredyCat It's awful that your niece is still waiting. Can't someone complain on her behalf? Your poor sister is still suffering, too. That certainly could have been avoided. Your boys have a lovely life with you. Do they go out in the garden? We had a visiting cat under the trampoline yesterday. This morning, he was on top of our brick-built barbecue! Jaffa doesn't seem to mind.

Wyllow3 DH and I were so tired last night, after 2 long and busy days with LG. Neither of us would manage to have her alone. She's such a good girl, but (naturally) on the go all day. I bet your garden is starting to look really nice. What plants did you buy? Ours are all in pots and tubs, but the squirrels have been digging about in them. Of course you're not a monster. You do seem to overthink all the MrA stuff, though, and worry about what others will think about you. Don't!

Did aqua aerobics, then had brunch at the pub. DH found bags full of books in the shed, ones that we had for the 2 GDs years ago (Son1 left lots of stuff here, including 900 DVDs). We've often asked Son1 to sort it all out, but now's the time to get rid of it - Son2 left things here, too (washing machine, electric bikes, fridge).

Hope everyone is ok x

Wyllow I see what you mean about the 'so called' dull days when ,if your mind is peaceful its good enough.
Its surprising how much work and titivating, flower deadheading, pruning ect that a garden takes up. Nice of your friend N to help out a little. Your garden is lovely though.
Your head is split in 2 about Mr A and the consequences and to a certain extent, that's healthy as it shows some sort of balancing. I just wish the Quaker's decision didnt take so long and then you might have sone peace.
HVDY I remember having my DGS at LGs age and oh theyre on the go all the time aren't they? I certainly appreciated my DHs input at that time. I think we were very much left to it with our own children at that age. Oh you have a new furry visitor to your garden- its good Jaffa isnt jealous. You must have lots of trees where you are to get the squirrels.
Scaredycat Your poor neice - its quite disgusting that shes been left so long. I hope she will get a date soon to remove the growth , it must have grown quite large by now. Yes, my sis is quite different naturalised to myself but we get on fine. Can't say it was always so when we were small , though no great lasting wars! A sister shares so many memories of early years and family life and thats a bond that cant be reproduced I think. Im sorry your sister's wound has still not healed though, its taking a long time and I hope its not painful for her.
Doodle Hope today isnt as sad as yesterday for you. You and your DH had something so special and I cant imagine just how difficult it is to not have that person around you all the time. I know you feel his presence at the time you spend at the hospice and Im glad for you that you have that. Hospices are such wonderful places and the nurses there are so good with the patients aswell as their families.
EllieAnnePurplepixie Hope youve both been OK. How are you?

Fluffball today. We took her for a walk alongside a small river about 30mins drive from here. A Costa visits first ( still whining- perhaps not as much) then the river walk behind it. Various people stopping to stroke her and she just lapped it all up. We have her all week now till the weekend. She's been shorn since last week so nice and silky smooth.

Hope everyone is having a reasonable day.x

I’ve been trying to keep away because I feel like such a moan but I just want to comment on a couple of things.
Wyllow you are a strong articulate person and have bravely spoken up about the situation with mr a.
In doing that you may have prevented him from forcing unwanted attention on another lady who wasn’t able to fight back. So try to think that you are not only protecting your own mental health but others too.
About sisters I wasn’t terribly close to mine but I think some of that was because of our difficult home life. But she was the only one who understood the issues with our dad. Everyone outside our immediate family thought he was a nice person. If I try to explain it to others they don’t get it.
So I do miss that,

Scaredycat I’m so sorry about your sister wound on her leg. It’s amazing how long these things take to heal. Is she having regular visits from the surgery nurse or the district nurse?
Thank you the party was fun. Nice to be with people I know well.
Can’t believe your niece is still waiting. That’s appalling.
hVDY I bet LG will love her dolls house and the little people. Does she love playing house? Most little girls do.
Wyllow no pets allowed but that’s ok I’m out so much I wouldn’t have one anyway. I do feel it’s so wrong for the Quakers not to take control of the situation with Mr A and leave you feeling guilty over wanting to protect your own feelings.we all have our little guilt selves who nag at us at times.
Sweetpeasue your walk with Fluffball sounds lovely. It’s nice how being out with a dog attracts people to talking to you. Dog walkers are normally very social people. Fluffball sounds really cuddly.
Ellie Anne please don’t keep away. You’re not moaning. You have great problems in your life and you can share them here. Never feel you can’t say how it is for you. We do understand.
I’m sorry you miss your sister. Your dad doesn’t sound a nice person at all. These things can affect you for the rest of your life.
Hope you’re spending some nice time in your garden