Wedding sadness

Best wedding I ever attended was child-free. Family had huge reservations about this state of affairs initially but everyone ended up having a great time and agreed that it had been such a good decision. Never once took my children to a wedding even although they were invited. Had no reason to 'show them off'. Children often find it difficult to sit still through the beautiful sanctimony of the ceremony, they want down from the table the minute they've finished eating and they tend to be a nightmare on the dance floor. I love 'em all (well most of them!) but.....there's a time and place methinks.

jojojo I think your decision is right but I am very surprised that the parents have made this decision AFTER their daughter has been asked directly; how disappointing for her. I don't envy them explaining that to a 6 yar old, thinking about my own 6 yr old GD!

I totally understand you being upset JoJoJo - us grans like nothing more than to have all the family together and this is your younger son's big day and thus a very big day for you too. I wonder if DiL is behind the decision - often the 'outlaw' is less than keen to put themselves out for their in-laws and can cause a rift between siblings. Sounds like they are using the cost of airfare as an excuse - did they leave it too late on purpose I wonder? They could drive overnight so the GC would sleep en route; stop over en route; make lots of breaks - there are ways and means if they want to be there but it really sounds like they don't. Poor GC are going to miss out on being part of an extended family and having cousins in the future and oh, yes, the joy of being a bridesmaid - my daughter was a 4 year old flower girl to a second cousin in deepest Wales and we were living abroad at the time and had a very long car journey but would not have dreamt of turning down the opportunity for her and for us all to be there. I don't think you can 'interfere' but can allow yourself to express your disappointment and sadness that they won't be there and leave it at that. Older son will have to deal with his daughter's disappointment, if she is old enough to have understood what is going on. Hope you have a wonderful day with or without older son and family.

"No assumptions were made - elder couple were kept informed and involved all along. Bridal couple made sure elder couple were happy with DGD being bridesmaid before asking her directly."

Oh dear. How disappointing for dgd...

Unless she didn't really want to do it. Not all little girls do. Some get too nervous. (I have a niece like that - horrified at the idea!) Maybe that's why the parents changed their minds, but they thought it would hurt bride and groom's feelings to tell them the truth.

Or maybe "something happened" between the 2 couples that you don't know about... Or...

But, of course, that is all speculation. Good on you for NOT "making a family row" and for now focusing "on the bridal couple having a wonderful day!"

Hope you have a great day, too, and maybe, tell us all about it afterwards!

Best wedding I attended kept formality to a minimum, with plenty for the young guests to do. 25% of the guests were children, we all joined in games. Best moment was the bride getting on the bouncy castle. Each to their own.