Make us laugh [grin]

Here are a couple of stories some emailed to me :-

She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter - as she'd done many times before.
After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"
I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.....

I can see Mrs. P doing that now
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My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.
He asked me how old I was, and I told him - 62.
My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

joe goes into pub and asks for 6 whiskies
He drinks them straight down
My ....you drank those quick said barman
You would if you had what I have said joe
whats that said barman ..
one pound said joe

They have some good funnies on the Saga website.

I'll just nip over and get one.

The baby pigeon complained to his mother before flying a long distance, 'I can't make it, I'll get too tired.'

His mother replied, 'Don't worry, I'll tie a piece of string to one of your legs and the other end to mine.'

The baby started to cry.

'What's wrong?' asked the mother sympathetically.

'I don't want to end up being pigeon towed.'

Well, it was a short one.

And not rude.

Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned Saga on Gransnet!

wots saga

A mummy biscuit and a baby biscuit were walking along the road.
The baby biscuit tripped up and was run over by a speeding car.
The mummy biscuit said 'Oh crumbs'

Grandad - This tea tastes weak

Nana - It's not yorkshire tea

Grandad - Gnatspiddle

Grandson #1 Where's gnatspiddle

needless to say nana and grandad had a good chuckle

Wee D puts cup on arm of sofa and it duly falls to the floor. "What happened?" asks mother. "It slod off" says D.

Mother walks into the kitchen and wee D is standing on the fridge. "What are you doing?" asks mother. Long pause....."This" says D.

Don't grown-ups ask silly questions?!

Bloke goes in a pub with a newt on his shoulder.....orders a pint and a "short for Tiny".....after a few of the same rounds the barman asks "Why do you call him Tiny?"....bloke reply's "Cos he's Minute"...........

Hi, fellows. I have posted about 300 jokes on the thread 'This made me laugh' - I like yours too

I once stayed up all night to see where the sun went .. and then it dawned on me ...

As I looked at my naked body in the mirror .. I thought to myself .. 'I’m going to get thrown out of IKEA in a minute' ...

Ouch!

You aren't by any chance Tim Vine masquerading as a grandad?

Who?

Anno

I love Tim Vine jokes!!

Jeni, haven't you heard of Tim Vine, brother of Jeremy? Master of the one-liner and holder of the record for the most jokes told in a minute - at least I think it's a minute!

No!

Me neither.

Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.

nice