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Silly news reports.

(99 Posts)
MissAdventure Tue 23-Jun-26 20:10:02

Eg - A local knicker factory has closed after fifty years service.
Simon Bloggs, the owner said "The bottom has just fallen out of ladies underwear".

MissAdventure Wed 24-Jun-26 12:59:12

Man left housebound after thief steals lower limb prosthetic.
Police spokesman says "It seems he legged it".

Mollygo Wed 24-Jun-26 12:59:48

If clamping down on small boats means turning to planes.
There’ll be people waiting in the wings.

Fallingstar Wed 24-Jun-26 13:06:12

A robbery of the tills in a pizza parlour gave the thieves plenty of dough but went awry when the manager said he wanted a slice.

MissAdventure Wed 24-Jun-26 13:07:27

Tearful group of women present plaque to the owner of "Bras R Us" as they close their doors for good today.
Mrs Audrey Aardvark said "We just wanted to thank them for their support over the years".

MissAdventure Wed 24-Jun-26 13:14:31

Gracious in defeat, the runner up in thecnational gurning final today said "i certainly wouldn't have turned my nose up at the medal".

MissAdventure Wed 24-Jun-26 13:23:43

Asked why he emptied a bowl of bramley apple surprise (served with delicious dairy icecream) over the chef's head, at a gastro pub, unrepentant Gary Gobber explained "He just gave me the pip".

LauraNorderr Wed 24-Jun-26 13:25:52

When the local frisbee shop was closing down I wondered why the owner was throwing them out, then it hit me.

LauraNorderr Wed 24-Jun-26 13:28:32

People were shocked when the local electrician went out of business

LauraNorderr Wed 24-Jun-26 13:30:34

When old McDonald retired from the farm they brought in a new C-i-E-i-O

keepcalmandcavachon Wed 24-Jun-26 14:03:00

Campsite thief Billy Can described by police as "intense"

keepcalmandcavachon Wed 24-Jun-26 14:10:23

Distraught Owner of Soft Top Sports Car which was Sprayed with Slurry says he
"can't believe how quickly the event unfolded, all at once it was set in motion"

ClicketyClick Wed 24-Jun-26 14:15:01

Thank you MissAdventure. This is just what we needed.

MissAdventure Wed 24-Jun-26 14:23:18

Oh, no; thank you people for joining in. smile
Silly lot!

TerriBull Wed 24-Jun-26 14:23:30

"People were shocked when the local electrician went out of business" well yes, he was probably a bright spark shock

LauraNorderr Wed 24-Jun-26 14:26:53

TerriBull

"People were shocked when the local electrician went out of business" well yes, he was probably a bright spark shock

I like to be current

TerriBull Wed 24-Jun-26 14:27:40

Thank you from me too MissA. Loved your E by gum. Inspired grin

ClicketyClick Wed 24-Jun-26 14:31:18

Drunken woman when questioned why she hijacked a ferry replied that she was Jack Sparrow.

Plevey08 Wed 24-Jun-26 14:34:07

The prize has to go to MissAdventure! Perhaps people don't have enough drawers for their knickers.

TerriBull Wed 24-Jun-26 14:34:13

"I like to be current" well that's ok as long as you don't get crossed wires.

I could go on, but I'd better put a sock et in it!

ClicketyClick Wed 24-Jun-26 14:39:43

And in today's paper...

Mollygo Wed 24-Jun-26 16:30:13

Asked about his role in the cosmetics department in Boots , the store detective said, “I shadow thieves to the checkout.”

Grannybags Wed 24-Jun-26 16:51:00

ClicketyClick

And in today's paper...

🤣🤣🤣

TerriBull Wed 24-Jun-26 17:05:50

After a client's snippy feedback highlighting problem's at the hairdressers, the management cut their prices. It did however colour their attitude to the client given she was receiving other fringe benefits.