LIMERICKS (Apr ‘25)

He messages me now and again
Don't tell or they'll think I'm insane
His name is E.T.
Very fond of me

He messages me now and again
Don't tell or they'll think I'm insane
His name is E.T.
Very fond of me
But he says that he melts in the rain

Which is a bit awkward, 'tis true

Which is a bit awkward, 'tis true
If he starts to ooze, what to do?

Which is a bit awkward, 'tis true
If he starts to ooze, what to do?
I'll mop up the puddle

Which is a bit awkward, 'tis true
If he starts to ooze, what to do?
I'll mop up the puddle
Get in a muddle

Which is a bit awkward 'tis true
if he starts to ooze, what to do?
I'll mop up the puddle
Get in a muddle
Then count to a hundred and two

Then off for a drive I will go

Then off for a drive I will go
On country roads both high and low

Then off for a drive I will go
On country roads high and low
'Til I reach a town

Then off for a drive I will go
On country roads high and low
Till I reach a town
with pub called The Crown

Then off for a drive I will go
On country roads high and low
Til I reach a town
With a pub called The Crown
Where the local beers all freely flow

I need to buy new Winter boots

I need to buy new Winter boots
What colour ? I don't give two hoots

I need to buy new Winter boots
What colour ? I don't give two hoots
They must keep my feet dry

I need to buy new winter boots
What colour? I don't give tow hoots
They must keep my feet dry
Or else I will sigh

I need to buy new winter boots
What colour? I don't give two hoots
They must keep my feet dry
Or else I will sigh
And shriek like a couple of coots.

The ducks on the pond are all cold

The ducks on the pond are all cold
The must really try to be bold

The ducks on the pond are old cold
They must really try to be bold
Make sheltered new nests

The ducks on the pond are all cold
They must really try to be bold
Make sheltered new nests
Keep out all the pests

The ducks on the pond are all cold
They must really try to be bold
Make sheltered new nests
Keep out all the pests
They're quite good at that, I am told

A farmer named Ernie once found

A farmer named Ernie once found
A pumpkin, enormous and round

A farmer named Ernie once found
A pumpkin, enormous and round
Orange and scary

A farmer named Ernie once found
A pumpkin enomous and round
Orange and scary
Of that I'd be wary

A farmer named Ernie once found
A pumpkin enormous and round
Orange and scary
Of that I'd be wary
It must of been three hundred pound

Watch out it's about to explode

Watch out it's about to explode
Run for the hills, I've been told,

Watch out it's about to explode
Run for the hills, I've been told,
I wrapped up quite warm

Watch out it's about to explode
Run for the hills, I've been told
I wrapped up quite warm
Incase there's a storm