July 21 Limericks

They're all too busy getting rich
While we've loads of reasons to bitch
It’s ‘I’m alright Jack’
Empathy they lack

They're all too busy getting rich
While we've loads of reasons to bitch
It’s ‘I’m alright Jack’
Empathy they lack
And they all belong in a ditch.

'Tis soon the season of goodwill

'Tis soon the season of goodwill
All our stockings we hope to fill

Tis soon the season of goodwill
All our stockings we hope to fill
Money is quite tight

Tis soon the season of goodwill
All our stockings we hope to fill
Money is quite tight
But days "happy and bright"

Tis soon the season of goodwill
All our stockings we hope to fill
Money is quite tight
But days "happy and bright"
We’ll somehow enjoy the day still

Each year goes faster than before

Each year goes faster than before,
I often yearn for days of yore

Each year goes faster than before,
I often yearn for days of yore
Life was simpler then

Each year goes faster than before,
I often yearn for days of yore
Life was simpler then
With just women and men

Each year goes faster than before,
I often yearn for days of yore
Life was simpler then
With just women and men
Now, unisex clothes, what a bore !

Mother would surely spit feathers

Mother would surely spit feathers
If she knew that I'd borrowed her leathers

Mother would surely spit feathers
If she knew that I'd borrowed her leathers
I jumped on her bike

Mother would surely spit feathers
If she knew that I'd borrowed her leathers
I jumped on her bike
And abandoned my trike

Mother would surely spit feathers
If she knew that I'd borrowed her leathers
I jumped on her bike
And abandoned my trike
And drove like hell o'er the heathers

I'm hoping to make Inverness

I'm hoping to make Inverness
May got lost in the wilderness

I'm hoping to make Inverness
May got lost in the wilderness
Poor May, I will miss her

I'm hoping to make Inverness
May got lost in the wilderness
Poor May, I will miss her
Turned up in a blur

I'm hoping to make Inverness
May got lost in the wilderness
Poor May, I will miss her
Turned up in a blur
And now May's a bit of a mess.

She's back home now in Aberdeen

She'd back home now in Aberdeen
Serving soup from a huge tureen

She'd back home now in Aberdeen
Serving soup from a huge tureen
There's not only chicken

She'd back home now in Aberdeen
Serving soup from a huge tureen
There's not only chicken
But carrots for licken

She'd back home now in Aberdeen
Serving soup from a huge tureen
There's not only chicken
But carrots for licken
And several types of healthy bean

Plenty of fibre we must take

Plenty of fibre we must take
And so Scottish oats we should bake

Plenty of fibre we must take
And so Scottish oats we should bake
With Apple crumble

Plenty of fibre we must take
And so Scottish oats we should bake
With Apple crumble
I’ve tummy rumble!