My friend let me down because of rain

So she used the phone to cancel then?

I agree with you refusing to meet as arranged just because it was raining is a very lame excuse

Did you suggest you come to hers?

I have put a lot of effort into this friendship but I am wondering if it has run its distance

It's a horrible feeling.

Perhaps using the rain as an excuse was to cover something else. Perhaps she feels attacked by the Mental Elf and can't explain things to anyone else.

Just a thought.

It sounds as if she is restricted by all kinds of odd ideas, and maybe being out in the rain is the newest one.

Some friendships do run their course.
By you saying ''let me know when you're next free'' you've put the ball in her court. And if she makes no further plans, you'll have your answer. Difficult thought this will be for you (for a while) it will be for the best in the long run.
Who needs flaky friends?

I would have challenged the rain excuse, as it’s so feeble it’s obviously not the real reason. I would have been annoyed and disappointed too.
It’s difficult to know what’s going on, unless she tells you more.
I have a lifelong friend who since her DH retired has asked to meet at a local coffee shop instead of going to each others houses, I’m finding it very odd as her DH is out quite a lot too, she’s also ready to rush home after 45 mins. Maybe it’s me 🤷‍♀️

I agree with Baggs, something other than the rain.

Is she the nervy type, she sounds to me like she is, I just wonder if she is worried about driving in the rain? I know it sounds a bit lame, but some people are very uncomfortable doing anything which takes them out of their comfort zone.

Did she have a fall when she broke her hip?
Maybe that’s dented her confidence and she was worried about the wet and it being slippery underfoot?

There may be another reason she cancelled, something she may not be ready to tell you about......yet!
Bide your time , watch and wait .

I would agree with those who suspect another reason, nervousness/stress at driving in the rain or walking on a slippy surface or perhaps an embarrassing medical problem.

Casdon

Is she the nervy type, she sounds to me like she is, I just wonder if she is worried about driving in the rain? I know it sounds a bit lame, but some people are very uncomfortable doing anything which takes them out of their comfort zone.

I was wondering if it was reallyabout driving in the rain, too.

I agree. I don’t like driving in the rain, at night, in the fog, in the snow……basically, I only drive on a clear day. So I understand your friend .

YorkLady

Did she have a fall when she broke her hip?
Maybe that’s dented her confidence and she was worried about the wet and it being slippery underfoot?

This could have something to do with it. I fell over at work a few years ago and badly hurt my knee. I was very nervous about going out for a long time.

What age is she? I know I have lost my confidence driving and don't much like going out in the rain and the leaves are very slippery under foot. Why not just take her as she offers herself and perhaps drop her the odd email if that is her preference, that is if you like her as a person. If she is just part of a 'friend' list then you don't lose much if it fades out.

She is literally the definition of a "fair weather" friend. Nothing wrong with your reply I don't think

It's upsetting when you reach the stage of thinking that a friendship is reaching the stage of perhaps having run its course. But it happens.

Wait till your fiend gets back in touch. If any plans are made ask for contingency in case it rains- which it often will between now and next summer. Be guided by your feelings and spend with other friends and other interests meanwhile. That is, enjoy your life and try not to let this bring you down.

It seems a lame excuse not to want to go out in the rain , especially if she has a car . I think I would have offered to collect her , if she’s fairly local . Is she losing confidence in driving ?

Thank you for your replies, I can't answer all of them but to highlight a couple. Yes she will use the phone if she needs something but she never answers if someone calls her. I thought later that I should have suggested going to her house but even if I had there would have been some reason why I couldn't. Someone suggested that she might feel unsteady in the rain, well it's a year since her accident, she is six years younger than me and I had a knee replacement three months ago. Someone suggested that there might be something that she doesn't want to share, maybe, but over the years we have always had an open friendship and shared many personal issues.
Thank you for your replies they have given me food for thought, my husband and other friends say that I should give up on her, but I'm not ready for that as she has been such a good friend over the years. I'll just wait for her to contact me.

It doesn’t matter how old she is, a serious fall like that can completely undermine a person’s confidence.

She won't use a phone, but then she used one to contact you!

Rain isn't exactly going to cause her a disaster, other than getting wet!

She's just messing you about and expecting you to drop everything to suit her.

Dump her. She's not worth it.

It sounds to me as if your friend has a more deep seated reason for not wanting to go out and possibly used the rain as an excuse. Perhaps she feels fearful of having another fall, the broken hip will have unnerved her, and she may even be developing brittle bones. Perhaps there’s a completely different reason that she doesn’t feel ready to share yet, maybe she’s beginning to develop agoraphobia.
It’s all guesswork on my part though - you know your friend, I don’t, but I would imagine there is another reason for her reticence rather than the rain. I hope that you will be able to meet her and try to find out what is really worrying her.

I had a similar friend as the OP, and only found out after she died that she had developed early dementia.I was very annoyed by her behaviour but could have been understanding had she only confided in me.

I agree with people who feel there is probably more going on, please try and stay in touch she may be struggling.