Limericks with very strict rules (6) - 88558

Those birds are outstandingly dumb
But they don’t want much, just a crumb
Hope they come my way
It would make my day

Those birds are outstandingly dumb
But they don’t want much, just a crumb
Hope they come my way
It would make my day
If one would just perch on my thumb.

My neighbour gave me homemade wine

My neighbour gave me homemade wine
But next time I think I’ll decline

My neighbour gave me homemade wine
But next time I think I’ll decline
But what shall I say?

My neighbour gave me homemade wine
But next time I think I’ll decline
But what shall I say?
I was drunk for a day. ?

My neighbour gave me homemade wine
But next time I think I’ll decline
But what shall I say?
I was drunk for a day. ?
Someone should suggest they resign.

Maybe try baking a cake?

Maybe try baking a cake?
And sprinkle with chocolate flake

Maybe try baking a cake?
And sprinkle with chocolate flake
Cream in the middle

Maybe try baking a cake?
And sprinkle with chocolate flake
Cream in the middle
Whilst playing a fiddle

Maybe try baking a cake?
And sprinkle with chocolate flake
Cream in the middle
Whilst playing a fiddle
I think that would be a mistake!

Now my floor is a big mess

Now my floor is a big mess
I hate mopping it, I confess

Now my floor is such a big mess
I hate mopping it, I confess
If only I knew

Now my floor is such a big mess
I hate mopping it, I confess
If only I knew
I’d have made a stew

Now my floor is such a big mess
I hate mopping it, I confess
If only I knew
I’d have made a stew
But I'd still have to clean up, I guess.

Have been sitting and waiting on "hold"

Have been sitting and waiting on "hold"
To phone in you now must be bold

I've been sitting, waiting on "hold"
To phone in you now must be bold
Try dialling up "sales"

I've been sitting, waiting on "hold"
To phone in you now must be bold
Try dialling up "sales"
But they are in Wales!

I've been sitting, waiting on "hold"
To phone in you now must be bold
Try dialling up "sales"
But they are in Wales!
Where the weather’s windy and cold

I once met a farmer named Dai

I once met a farmer named Dai
Who often consumed shepherd's pie

I once met a farmer named Dai
Who often consumed shepherd's pie
With carrots and peas

I once met a farmer named Dai
Who often consumed shepherds’s pie
With carrots and peas
And everyone sees

I once met a farmer named Dai
Who often consumed shepherds’s pie
With carrots and peas
And everyone sees
He's now just as wide as he's high.

So Dai and his wife went to Spain

So Dai and his wife went to Spain
He said “not paella again !”

So Dai and his wife went to Spain
He said “not paella again !”
I now am so thin

So Dai and his wife went to Spain
He said “not paella again !”
I now am so thin
I look like a pin