Limericks with very strict rules (5) - 88558

But I think I`ll have the last laugh
Running my own Weight Watchers caff
No sugar or carbs

But I think I`ll have the last laugh
Running my own Weight Watchers caff
No sugar or carbs
Lots of kale and rhubarbs

But I think I`ll have the last laugh
Running my own Weight Watchers caff
No sugar or carbs
Lots of kale and rhubarbs
But it’s still just a lot of faff

Eat what you want, that’s what I say

Eat what you want, that’s what I say
Especially if you never weigh

Eat what you want, that’s what I say
Especially if you never weigh
No scales in my house

Eat what you want, that’s what I say
Especially if you never weigh
No scales in my house,
Eaten by a mouse!

Eat what you want, that's what I say
Especially if you never weigh
No scales in my house
Eaten by a mouse!
Watching what you eat doesn't pay.

Young Percival reckoned himself

Young Percival reckoned himself
Far from being yet on the shelf

Young Percival reckoned himself
Far from being yet on the shelf
His body well toned

Young Percival reckoned himself
Far from being yet on the shelf
His body well toned
And his skills well honed

Young Percival reckoned himself
Far from being yet on the shelf
His body well toned
And his skills well honed
But he was done in by an elf.

The elf had by Santa been fired,

The elf had by Santa been fired,
As his sell by date had expired

The elf had by Santa been fired,
As his sell by date had expired
So he left the North Pole

The elf had by Santa been fired,
As his sell by date had expired
He left the North Pole
To pursue his goal

The elf had by Santa been fired,
As his sell by date had expired
He left the North Pole
To pursue his goal
By the MI5, he was hired

On a grand mission, he was sent

On a grand mission he was sent
To a strange place, he was hell-bent

On a grand mission he was sent
To a strange place, he was hell-bent
As James Bond he starred

On a grand mission he was sent
To a strange place, he was hell-bent
As James Bond he starred
Martini, not stirred

On a grand mission he was sent
To a strange place, he was hell-bent
As James Bond he starred
Martini, not stirred
Adventures he gave up for Lent.

Wilfred, the wily old wastrel

Wilfred, the wily old wastrel
Queued a long time to get petrol

Wilfred, the wily old wastrel
Queued a long time to get petrol
When he reached the pump

Wilfred, the wily old wastrel
Queued a long time to get petrol
When he reached the pump
The price made him jump

Wilfred, the wily old wastrel
Queued a long time to get petrol
When he reached the pump
The price made him jump
It exceeded his collatural!

His credit score would not meet it

His credit score would not meet it
The gas pump just told him to "beat it"

His credit score would not meet it
The gas pump told him to "beat it"
Go off on your bike