VERSATILE VERSE 3

I’ll stay there a while for the sun, food and wine.
That vision you mention, is equally mine.

Or maybe in Porto I’ll spend my vacation

Or maybe in Porto I'll spend my vacation
But it's not the place to practice abstention

I enjoy a drink but haven't much money

I enjoy a drink, but haven’t much money
Let’s watch men in kilts for free, that would be funny.

3rd line Mollygo?

Sorry
They’d dance over swords with their kilts all a- swinging

They’d dance over swords with their kilts all a- swinging
The women go weak, with their fingers a-tingling

Their tartans, they say , are symbols of their clans

Their tartans, they say , are symbols of their clans,
Tartans are lovely and have masses of fans.

I'd like a kilt myself, with a lovely furry sporran

I’d like a kilt myself, with a lovely furry sporran
But p’rhaps not in France, it would make me look foreign.

Over there I would dress ‘haute couture’ and high heels.

Over there I would dress ‘haute couture’ and high heels.
I’d like one of those ?, are there any deals ?

Perhaps I could borrow them, when I’m on a date

Perhaps I could borrow them, when I’m on a date
What do you reckon? How do I rate?

But me, I prefer comfort, I need to feel safe

But me, I prefer comfort, I need to feel safe
'Cos I'm really at heart at timid little waif.

I need someone to watch over me, like Frank Sinatra sang

I need someone to watch over me, like Frank Sinatra sang
Especially while driving as I have caused my car to prang

Joining in with the radio is such a distraction

Joining in with the radio is such a distraction
Keep fit on the Internet means I’m in action

To move all the pounds that I’ve added through Bake-Off

To move all the pounds that I’ve added through Bake-Off
If I was a jumbo jet I woudn't be able to take off.

I want to be swift and fly with the Red Arrows

I want to be swift and fly with the Red Arrows
don't want to get tipsy and be carried home in barrows

I'd need to be brave and take pilot lessons

I'd need to be brave and take pilot lessons
I think I'm going to need hundreds of sessions.

Then I can zoom through the sky like a bird

Then I can zoom through the sky like a bird
In a Biggles outfit and looking absurd

That won't bother me as I rise above the clouds

That won't bother me as I rise above the clouds
I see little ants below, they’re the awestruck crowds

I glide back down to the ground

I glide back down to the ground
slowly and gracefully without making a sound

When I'm finally down the relief is so great

When I'm finally down the relief is so great
I sobbed emotionally all over my best mate

I made her rather wet and she wasn't very happy

I made her rather wet and she wasn’t very happy
Cheer up said my neighbour, a bright cheerful chappy!

She’s down safe and sound and no bones have been broken

She's down safe and sound and no bones have been broken
and a passion for adventure has been awoken

Can't think what new excitement awaits

Can’t think what new excitement awaits
I’m abseiling next week, I’ve bought inline skates

My heart’s beating faster, I’m ready to go

My heart's beating faster, I'm ready to go
I hope I don't faint, as it's a possibility I know

Should I see my doctor first and make sure that's all's okay?

Should I see my doctor first and make sure that all’s okay
Or when he hears my plans will he tell me, “No way!”

I won’t listen, I’ll get on my Segway and leave