Versatile Verse 3

I tell them there’s more life left in the old codger
Certainly more lively than my friend Roger

Who’s slower these days than an ageing tortoise

Who’s slower these days than an ageing tortoise
He has lost all his. Oomph and his elegant poise

The highlight of his day is The ThreeBells in town

The highlight of his day is The ThreeBells in town
When he comes rolling home you should see his wife frown

She's happier in lockdown saving money for a cruise

She’s happier in lockdown saving money for a cruise
Than wandering about and looking for booze

Or talking to boring people in pubs

Or talking to boring people in pubs
And joining lots of tedious clubs

A cruise is the highlight of her year

A cruise is the highlight of her year
She counts the days, smiles from ear to ear.

She’s chosen her outfit for the Captains night

She's chosen her outfit for the Captains night
It's shocking pink and she'll look a fright

Not everyone can have good taste like me

Not everyone can have good taste like me
but then what I like isn't everyone's cup of tea

for me it has to be a long floaty dress

For me it has to be a long floaty dress
Dripping with diamonds, designed to impress

The navy, the black and the greys I eschew

The navy, the black and the greys I eschew
They never suited me and I always knew

I needed to wear colours that were uplifting

I needed to wear colours that were uplifting
And still do, although my shape is shifting

I've gone from being slim to rather cuddly

I've gone from being slim to rather cuddly
but I'm not as indulgent as my friend Dudley

It's wine and fine dining for him all the way

It's wine and fine dining for him all the way
He looks his nose down at Chardonnay

He wears coat tails and a bow tie

He wears coat tails and a bow tie
But he's a messy eater and is wearing some pie

He needs to stop talking when having his dinner

He needs to stop talking when having his dinner
If he noticed what he was eating he would be a lot slimmer

He's a bit of a dreamer with his mind on his books

He's a bit of a dreamer with his mind on his books
He needs to be careful because he never looks

Where he’s going whilst reading aloud on his strolls

Where he’s going whilst reading aloud on his strolls
It’s the script from the musical “Guys & Dolls”

If his audition goes well he’ll be in the West End

If his audition goes well he’ll be in the West End
If he does I'll go and see him, with a friend.

Even though the tickets might be expensive

Even though the tickets might be expensive
I haven't indulged for ages so the cost won't make me pensive

When this lockdown's over I'll buy the best theatre seats

When this lockdown's over I'll buy the best theatre seats
I’ll put it on Twitter and get loads of tweets

From friends who’ll think I’m absolutely barking!

From friends who’ll think I’m absolutely barking!
They're not really serious though, just larking.

Anything to cheer us up in these dark days

Anything to cheer us up in these dark days
I'll go to see musicals not melancholy plays

Going out at the moment seems like an impossible dream

Going out at the moment seems like an impossible dream
I want to be at the Rugby, cheering my team.

Or touring Stratford on Avon on the open top bus

Or touring Stratford on Avon on the open top bus
On and off at the pub, that sounds like us!

Then a quick look around Anne Hathaway’s cottage

Then a quick look around Anne Hathaway's cottage
When it was built a thatch was all the rage

I think they look snug but I would worry about a fire