Versatile Verse 3

He was expecting the Queen for a very special service
He’d been up all night and was feeling nervous

Who knows how many plans could go awry

Who knows how many plans could go awry
He had her sermon prepared, but his throat had gone dry.

He popped to the local for a tipple, for Dutch courage

He popped to the local for a tipple, for Dutch courage
When he returned, she was there with her entourage

He apologised but she was not best pleased

He apologised but she was not best pleased
He begged her forgiveness down on his knees

she just smiled enigmatically and continued on her way

she just smiled enigmatically and continued on her way
With a smile, a wave but nothing to say

Dripping with jewellery, coronet sparkling

Dripping with jewellery, coronet sparkling
Surrounded by corgis, some of them barking

A footman followed with lots of poo bags

A footman followed with lots of poo bags
He doesn't look happy - his face full of sags

It's not a nice job but someone has to do it

It's not a nice job but someone has to do it
I hear they’ve now appointed James Hewitt

He’ll definitely find a story to tell

He'll definitely find a story to tell
He's no gentleman, but it would certainly sell

Most royal friends know better than to speak to the press

Most royal friends know better than to speak to the press
Their views are often one-sided I guess.

If you want to know their secrets just watch The Crown

If you want to know their secrets just watch The Crown
Although some of the scenes will just make you frown

Surely, it’s better not to see the Queen in her bedchamber?

Surely, it’s better not to see the Queen in her bedchamber?
I'd rather see her when she's out driving her Daimler,

Then I'd wave and smile and shout "How are you?"

Then I'd wave and smile and shout "How are you?"
She’ll say “come join me” and I’ll say “dont mind if I do”

I’ll sit beside her on the ermine seat

I'll sit beside her on the ermine seat
I can't imagine feeling more upbeat

smiling and waving as excited crowds we pass

She said, “I can see you have a bit of class.”

It’s the way you wave with a circular motion

It's the way you wave with a circular motion
Then we caused a crowd and a bit of a commotion

'I have a private route home' she said

'I have a private route home' she said
'People can be tedious, one even came to sit on my bed'

With this hint I knew it was time to leave

With this hint I knew it was time to leave
So I leaned down and kissed her sleeve

She looked surprised as I waved goodbye

She looked surprised as I waved goodbye
I’m sure I saw a tear in her eye.

Lo and behold, it was just a day dream

Lo and behold, it was just a day dream
Things aren’t always what they seem

Thought it was real - I could’ve sworn

Thought it was real - I could have sworn
But I’d been asleep, now it’s early dawn.

I’ll rise and do Yoga, eat Muesli and honey

I’ll rise and do Yoga, eat Muesli and honey
Then go online to see if the bank still has my money.

Scammers are trying so hard to cheat me

Scammers are trying so hard to cheat me
but I'm careful so they're barking up the wrong tree

It seems everyday they come up with something new

It seems everyday they come up with something new
Funeral Plans, do they know I’ve got flu !!!!!

I tell them there’s more life left in the old codger yet

I tell them there’s more life left in the old codger