Limericks 15

With a towel I hid her blushes
We were all having hot flushes
What was she thinking?
She hadn't been drinking

With a towel I hid her blushes
We were all having hot flushes
What was she thinking?
She hadn't been drinking
I packed her off in galoshes.

Will she ever show her face again?

Will she ever show her face again?
The hussy, she will, come sun or rain

Will she ever show her face again?
The hussy, she will, sun or rain
With no sign of shame

Will she ever show her face again?
The hussy, she will, sun or rain
With no sign of shame
To her it’s a game

Will she ever show her face again?
The hussy, she will, sun or rain
With no sign of shame
To her it's a game
Of our lives she is such a bane.

She went off to do cabaret

She went off to do cabaret
Armed with six bottles of Cabernet

She went off to do cabaret
Armed with six bottles of Cabernet
Now she struts her stuff

She went off to do cabaret
Armed with six bottles of Cabernet
Now she strusts her stuff
She does look quite rough

She went off to do cabaret
Armed with six bottles of Cabernet
Now she strusts her stuff
She does look quite rough
So she's having a face lift next May.

She's saving hard to pay the bill

She's saving hard to pay the bill
As her face is over the hill

She's saving hard to pay the bill
As her face is over the hill
The surgeon, he said

She's saving hard to pay the bill
As her face is over the hill
The surgeon, he said
You sure have street cred

She's saving hard to pay the bill
As her face is over the hill
The surgeon, he said
You sure have street cred
But your lines , I will have to fill.

You will want to flaunt your new look

You will want to flaunt your new look
Now your nose is no longer crook

You will want to flaunt your new look
Now your nose is no longer crook
Photos you must take

You will want to flaunt your new look
Now your nose is no longer crook
Photos you must take
For new beauty's sake

You will want to flaunt your new look
Now your nose is no longer crook
Photos you must take
For new beauty's sake
A model agent, you must book

Soon your lean days will be over

Soon your lean days will be over
And you'll be living in clover

Soon your lean days will be over
And you'll be living in clover
With clothes by Versace

Soon your lean days will be over
And you'll be living in clover
With clothes by Versace
No longer starchy

Soon your lean days will be over
And you'll be living in clover
With clothes by Versace
No longer starchy
To guard you, a bulldog called Rover

You'll fly first class to Bermuda

You'll fly first class to Bermuda
And dine on poached barracuda

You'll fly first class to Bermuda
And dine on poached barracuda
You'll pose on the beach

You'll fly first class to Bermuda
And dine on poached barracuda
You'll pose on the beach
With a bum like a peach