Limericks 15

You`ll fly first class to Bermuda
And dine on poached barracuda
You`ll pose on the beach
With a bum like a peach
Show more and it would be ruder.

Just find a nice nudist beach

Just find a nice nudist beach
And follow the example they preach

Just find a nice nudist beach
And follow the example they preach
Cast all clothes aside

Just find a nice nudist beach
And follow the example they preach
Cast all clothes with pride
And bare all with pride

Just find a nice nudist beach
And follow the example they preach
Cast all clothes aside
And bare all with pride
Be glad you have skin like a peach

There’s a town called Ballachulish

There’s a town called Ballachulish
Where residents only eat fish

There’s a town called Ballachulish
Where residents only eat fish
No grapes, eggs or jelly

There`s a town called Ballachulish
Where residents only eat fish
No grapes, eggs or jelly
They`re bad for the belly

There's a town called Ballachulish
Where residents only eat fish
No grapes, eggs or jelly
They're bad for the belly
So fish makes a good tasty dish.

There's a Yorkshire hamlet called Jump

There's a Yorkshire hamlet called Jump
Names like that can give you the hump

There's a Yorkshire hamlet called Jump
Names like that can give you the hump
Strangers think it fun

There's a Yorkshire hamlet called Jump
Names like that can give you the hump
Strangers think it fun
To make the best pun

There's a Yorkshire hamlet called Jump
Names like that can give you the hump
Strangers think it fun
To make the best pun
I’d happily give them a thump

There’s a river near here called Uck

There`s a river near here called Uck
That is home to many a duck

There`s a river near here called Uck
That is home to many a duck
Those little quackers

There`s a river near here called Uck
That is home to many a duck
Those little quackers
Saw name hijackers

There's a river near here called Uck
That is home to many a duck
Those little quackers
Saw name hijackers
Try to catch us, you're out of luck.

A sad, depressed man sent a tweet

A sad, depressed man sent a tweet
But kept identity discreet

A sad, depressed man sent a tweet
Many responded with a greet

A sad, depressed man sent a tweet
Many responded with a greet
They lightened his mind

A sad, depressed man sent a tweet
But kept identity discreet
It was quite saucy

Juliet altered her line
A sad, depressed man sent a tweet
Many responded with a greet
They lightened his mind

A sad, depressed man sent a tweet
Many responded with a greet
They lightened his mind
He thought they were kind

A sad, depressed man sent a tweet
Many responded with a greet
They lightened his mind
He thought they were kind
Now he has plenty friends to meet

Always sure to do a good turn

Always sure to do a good turn
Though not having money to burn