Limericks 15

He got in the gossip column
He then took a vow so solemn
Never to err
Or be known as a cur
And ostracised just like Gollum!

There once was a belted young Earl

There once was a belted young Earl
Who wore a skirt, said, "Call me Shirl"

There once was a belted young Earl
Who wore a skirt, said, "Call me Shirl"
He had knocked knees

There once was a belted young Earl
Who wore a skirt, said, "Call me Shirl"
He had knocked knees
And smelled of old cheese

There once was a belted young Earl
Who wore a skirt, said, "Call me Shirl"
He had knocked knees
And smelled of old cheese
And just loved to be called "old girl".

So Shirl dressed in frocks that were short

I would need gin too, but its a bit early!?bit too early for limericks as well??

So Shirl dressed in frocks that were short
Who chose it for him, I know not

So Shirl dressed in frocks that were short
It seems style he was never taught

So Shirl dressed in frocks that were short
It seems style he was never taught
His knees were on show

So Shirl dressed in frocks that were short
It seems style he was never taught
His knees were on show
So knobbly, you know

So Shirl dressed in frocks that were short
It seems style he was never taught
His knees were on show
They were bent in a bow

So Shirl dressed in frocks that were short
It seems style he was never taught
His knees were on show
They were bent in a bow
And he was quite lousy at sport.

He lived on champagne and baguettes

He lived on champagne and baguettes
And lobbed tennis balls over nets

He lived on champagne and baguettes
And lobbed tennis balls over nets
It wasn’t love all

He lived on champagne and baguettes
And lobbed tennis balls over nets
It wasn’t love all
He missed every ball

He lived on champagne and baguettes
And lobbed tennis balls over nets
It wasn’t love all
He missed every ball
Don’t think he will win many sets?

A couthy young lad from Coupar

A couthy young lad from Coupar
Thought he'd chance it with a cougar

A couthy young lad from Coupar
Thought he'd chance it with a cougar
Who was fifty years old

A couthy young lad from Coupar
Thought he'd chance it with a cougar
Who was fifty years old
Or so he was told

A couthy young lad from Coupar
Thought he'd chance it with a cougar
Who was fifty years old
Or so he was told,
But still kept herself up to par.

A singer named Robbie from Stoke

A singer named Robbie from Stoke
Joined 'Take That' in a masterstroke

A singer named Robbie from Stoke
Joined 'Take That' in a masterstroke
Before very long

A singer named Robbie from Stoke
Joined 'Take That' in a masterstroke
Before very long
He lead every song

A singer named Robbie from Stoke
Joined 'Take That' in a masterstroke
Before very long
He lead every song
Poor Gary, he almost went 'broke'

His songwriting skills are one of the best

A singer named Robbie from Stoke
Joined 'Take That' in a masterstroke
Before very long
He lead every song
And it made poor old Gary choke.

Yet Gary wrote lots of good songs