Limericks 10

I've bought a packet of sweets ready for treats
Some jellies shaped just like my feet
If no knock on the door

I've bought a packet of sweets ready for treats
Some jellies shaped just like my feet
If no knock on the door
Guzzling won’t be a chore

I've bought a packet of sweets ready for treats
Some jellies shaped just like my feet
If no knock on the door
Guzzling won’t be a chore
So I won't have to keep the receipts.

There was an old drunkard from Devon

There was an old drunkard from Devon
Said I was his idea of heaven

There was an old drunkard from Devon
Said I was his idea of heaven
I`m as hot as his whisky

There was an old drunkard from Devon
Said I was his idea of heaven
I`m as hot as his whisky
Would I mind getting frisky

There was an old drunkard from Devon
Said I was his idea of heaven
I`m as hot as his whisky
Would I mind getting frisky
And I didn't wake up until seven

But I'm not sure that he was still breathing

But I'm not sure that he was still breathing
As I had to shift his body before leaving

But I'm not sure that he was still breathing
As I had to shift his body before leaving
Should I cover him up

But I'm not sure that he was still breathing
As I had to shift his body before leaving
Should I cover him up
And send for some backup

But I'm not sure that he was still breathing
As I had to shift his body before leaving
Should I cover him up
And send for some backup
Or just leave him there , fuming.

My next conquest was Eric, the stallion

My next conquest was Eric, the stallion
A rather good looking Italian

My next conquest was Eric, the stallion
A rather good looking Italian
He's great on the dance floor

My next conquest was Eric, the stallion
A rather good looking Italian
He's great on the dance floor
He walked me home, to the door

My next conquest was Eric, the stallion
A rather good looking Italian
He's great on the dance floor
He walked me home, to the door
Pity he has to wear that gold medallion

These limericks are great fun to create

These limericks are great fun to create
They could be in line for the Poet Laureate

These limericks are great fun to create
They could be in line for the Poet Laureate
With ground-breaking metre

These limericks are great fun to create
They could be in line for the Poet Laureate
With ground-breaking metre
And rhymes much greater

These limericks are great fun to create
They could be in line for the Poet Laureate
With ground-breaking metre
And rhymes much greater
We'll fill up this thread at a great rate.

Very soon it'll be Bonfire Night

Very soon it'll be Bonfire Night
With rockets achieving such height

Very soon it'll be Bonfire Night
With rockets achieving such height
There’ll be crackles and screeches

Very soon it'll be Bonfire Night
With rockets achieving such height
There’ll be crackles and screeches
Stay safe like mum teaches

Very soon it'll be Bonfire Night
With rockets achieving such height
There’ll be crackles and screeches
Stay safe like mum teaches
And all will be well on the night.

My garden will be full of spent rockets

My garden will be full of spent rockets
They’ll need to be collected in buckets

My garden will be full of spent rockets
They’ll need to be collected in buckets
It was fun at the time