Limericks 10

The skies are clouding over
But I still have to go out to walk Rover
I'll put on my mac
And go out by the back

The skies are clouding over
But I still have to go and walk Rover
I'll put on my mac
And go out by the back
So soon we'll frolic in fields of clover.

A young woman went to buy a lotto ticket

A young woman went to buy a lotto ticket
She wore her best dress and a hat, to top it

A young woman went to buy a lotto ticket
She wore her best dress and a hat, to top it
She forgot her purse

A young woman went to buy a lotto ticket
She wore her best dress and a hat, to top it
She forgot her purse
And what was worse

A young woman went to buy a lotto ticket
She wore her best dress and a hat, to top it
She forgot her purse
And what was worse
She got caught in a sticky wicket.

She went back home to find her money

She went back home to find her money
Said "Come on guys, this isn`t funny",

She went back home to find her money
Said "Come on guys, this isn`t funny",
Who's hidden my purse

She went back home to find her money
Said "Come on guys, this isn`t funny",
Who's hidden my purse
It's getting worse...

She went back home to find her money
Said "Come on guys, this isn`t funny",
Who's hidden my purse
It's getting worse...
I know whose got it. The Easter Bunny!

Last night, a strange light was seen

Last night, a strange light was seen
I do believe, my dear mum has been

Last night, a strange light was seen
I do believe, my dear mum has been
She's left a sign

Last night, a strange light was seen
I do believe, my dear mum has been
She's left a sign
A feather so fine

Last night, a strange light was seen
I do believe, my dear mum has been
She's left a sign
A feather so fine
Thank goodness the room was really clean!

A dashing young man from Bangkok

A dashing young man from Bangkok
His boat sprung a hole, in the loch

A dashing young man from Bangkok
His boat sprung a hole, in the loch
Had to bale out with a pail

A dashing young man from Bangkok
His boat sprung a hole, in the loch
Had to bale out with a pail
And add another sail

A dashing young man from Bangkok
His boat sprung a hole, in the loch
Had to bale out with a pail
And add another sail
Disaster again. He'd struck another rock.

A lazy selfish husband from Crewe

A lazy selfish husband from Crewe
Asked his wife to make a stew

A lazy selfish husband from Crewe
Asked his wife to make a stew
She said 'I've no lamb'

A lazy selfish husband from Crewe
Asked his wife to make a stew
She said 'I've no lamb'
Well then, go find a ram,

A lazy selfish husband from Crewe
Asked his wife to make a stew
She said 'I've no lamb'
Well then, go find a ram,
If he was mine I know what I’d do

My foot would connect with his rear

My foot would connect with his rear
Won't be able to sit down for a year

My foot would connect with his rear
Won't be able to sit down for a year
He’ll learn to his cost

My foot would connect with his rear
Won`t be able to sit down for a year
He`ll learn to his cost
All his marbles are lost