Mum's 90th birthday bash coming up

No contact means no contact, even if you are passing a gift. You are also acting like his estranged child went from 0 to 100 by invoking the police seemingly out of no where, when in reality I'm sure it was a final resort after their wishes for no contact have been continuously ignored.

What would you do if you had a stalker in your life that just won't take NO for an answer?

It's kind of crazy you people are trying to paint the estranged child's decision to involve the police as shameful.

It clearly worked and they finally got the peace they wanted so desperately.

No doubt if they hadn't taken this measure than OP would still be finding ways to weasel into their life.

Disgusting.

All’s well that ends well. Your mum had a nice birthday. Whether or not your children contacted her is between those adults alone. I’m glad to see everyone had a nice time and there was no drama and no attention taken away from her tremendous milestone.

I fully agree with BlessedArt.

The party was for OP's mother and it went very well, for what it seems in the update.

If the other adults congratulated her outside that event, we do not know.

Honestly, who may have benefited the most if those estranged adults had attended the party? Nobody I would say.
Not OP's mother as she seems to have memory issues anyway.

I think a simple invitation to the day, based on the granny looking forward to seeing you all on her special day.I would make no mention of anything else, which should show that you are not discussing or being involved in your own situation, but the fact that they are invited puts the emphasis on the important person for the day. If they do not turn up, you will have at least the knowledge that you did your best to behave in a decent manner. If they do turn up, then that will be a positive for their granny, and you can then either, just try to be civilised but not make any effort to talk about anything else, or if you are lucky, this occasion might be seen as an olive branch and you will all be able to do the best you can for the day. This may lead on to something better or not,but you will at least feel that you did your best. Remembering who is the important person on the occasion should help you to avoid confrontation, and you could perhaps, invent an important reason that you cant stay for a long time, so that if it gets unbearable you will have a reason to leave without it causing upset.

Hasn't this event gone?

Good to hear that the party went well DogWhisperer.

I can't see that anyone would have benefited if your EAC had been there and you must be relieved that your mum didn't ask where they were.

It's difficult if not impossible for anyone not in this position to understand the stress that can come from wondering if as in your case, your EAC will or wont attend.

'Same old same old' from User so I hope you take no notice.

Thank you for letting us know how it went.

stillawipp

Thank you for your opinion Smileless2012. I believe others are allowed, including my own.

It wasnt an "opinion" more an explanation and I have never suggested that other opinions aren't allowed! 🙄

Good to hear that the party went well Dog Whiperer

Apologies I misread above comment re opinions. It wasn't to me. However I do not think anyine has suggested that "other opinions" are not allowed!

DogWhisperer So, the party's over and the result was.... the day went down exactly as expected. Mum enjoyed looking at all those old photos, even if she couldn't remember a lot of the people in them. The two estranged kids didn't show, didn't send a card, didn't send a message. Mum didn't ask where the kids were. Everyone had a good time, including, presumably, the kids, because they chose not to come and they got what they wanted.

Perhaps your kids were not aware. That might be just as well, for your worries. Regardless, it's good the party was as expected.