Granddaughter

It’s a difficult time for you, as I know. I lost my DH last year.

Mental health issues, of ACs and GCs, as we’ve seen before on here, can affect relationships so much.

I would just respond to any messages, not expect anything meaningful from her, and build up support from other people

And, I wouldn’t be giving her any more financial handouts at present.

Do her parents know what her issues are?

It might not be anything you’ve done, just her own problems. 💐.

It can be very difficult with mental health issues to reach out to people you care about

It can feel like you have nothing positive to share and that you would only be a burden

I would try not to take this personally as it would only add to her problems and maybe make a decision to reach out once or twice a month with a positive message and hope she feels able to reply

Im so sorry you were let down.

If she was going to cancel, even with mental health issues, she should have told you. Even by text

Have you heard from her since?

This must be very hard for you

That’s sad notoveryet how old is your grandaughter ? I m presuming an older teenager or young adult
Have you been close to her in the past it’s so very difficult when you don’t have any clue as to what you've done to upset her ? You ve probably done nothing which makes it even worse
Try not to take it to heart too much I wouldn’t swamp her but reach out now and then, hopefully, with patience she may get back to you
Good luck

She is in her thirties and we were very close when she was younger. I've had no contact and although I know her mental problems are awful for her I struggle to cope with my own hurt. Life without dh sometimes feels impossible, it's 5 years since he died and just as hard as ever. I'm tired, can't afford to keep the house properly repaired which worries me. I have other family and friends, do voluntary work get exercise but this last incident has wiped me out. My gp doesn't want to prescribe antidepressants and I put on a good front for the world. What a catalogue of misery, I'm so sorry but it's a relief to write on here and not have to pretend, her parents and sister have to cope with their own feelings and I don't want to add to their upset.

Thanks for coming back notoveryet don’t give up on her I know it’s terribly hurtful that she didn’t come to you on her grandads anniversary but maybe she just couldn’t face your hurt and upset
I wouldn’t bring any money thoughts or regrets into the equation that was right at the time and draw a line under that one, it’s done
My advice would be to contact her when you can now and then let her know you love her no matter what, but don’t put your own sadness on her shoulders she obviously can’t cope with the overload
How about invite here for a coffee outside the home (not yet,in a few weeks) Don’t throw any guilt on her and just see if you can have a nice hour together if she doesn’t react leave it a month or two perhaps Easter and try again but very casual no pressure at all

That is very ill-mannered, and you would be perfectly justified in getting angry with her. Whatever the reason why she didn't turn up, she should have had the decency to tell you.

I would message her and ask her if she'd like to pop in for tea one day. Just say you are thinking of her and hope she's OK.

That's enough. It doesn't have to be a long message. Just a friendly hello.

It sounds like everyone is struggling. How difficult for all of you.

I’m surprised your doctor won’t prescribe medication though!