Friendship,advice and support if estrangement has affected your life.

Bum been writing since 5 just lost the lot. Will try again later.

Thank you Smiles DSL & Otter-welcome.
I still feel really bad, I never swear but it was like I'd been burnt with a red-hot poker hence the reaction. Not mentioned how bad I feel to my S&D apart from saying I had apologised.

Well done DSL hope you enjoyed a few glasses of bubbly last night, it's all going well to being in and a little settled for Xmas.

Whiff sometimes I think I've lost my post but hunt around and find it again. Sometimes I click on the very far right by mistake and all disappears but then if you look down on the toolbar you can see your server highlighted, click on that and it all comes back again.

Morning all. After a week of waiting for an email or phone call, it's really nice to have a breather over the weekend. I have a walk and some baking planned today.
Hope you find that post whiff.
I feel bad for ages after I mess up Yogin - there's a reason they call it mortified. Hope you can let it go soon. x

Going into the garden in a moment. I do everything on my smartphone. So haven't got a toolbar Yogin or if I have no idea where it is . 🤷. Thanks for trying to help.

What a pain Whiff. I've lost count of the number of times I've typed a long post and then lost it. Enjoy your gardening but don't over do it.

Well we've been making plans for good things to do next year starting with the opera 'Madam Butterfly' in February, followed by Sting in June and, now here's something different, Alice Cooper and Johnny Depp in July.

There's an open air theatre about a 15 minute walk from our house and we've seen some really good shows since we moved here. On Monday we're off to see 'A Christmas Carol' which we're looking forward too and hope to get us in the Christmas Spirit.

It'll do you good to have a breather over the weekend hugs.

Our suite looks great for a professional clean and I think we'll get our decs tomorrow as we have friends coming fora meal in Friday and it'll be nice to have the house looking all ready for Christmas.

Off for my first singing lesson at 1.45; fingers crossed it goes OK.

I have similar luck with losing things that I have spent time typing out. So annoying! My youngest son says that nothing is actually lost but is in the computer some where but I can never find it.

Smiles - that sounds like a fantastic time to look forward to.

We are booked for a music festival weekend in August but not going away now as planned for New Year. DH just doesn’t feel up to it and it is a fair drive from here to Whitby. Oh well. My trip to see my youngest son is one day next month and he will be here for 5 days over the festive period. Really looking forward to that. He is going to make some cakes while here - he’s an excellent cook/baker.

I’m not putting any christmas decs up until around the 14th December.

Enjoy the singing lessons.

I got a text from my eldest son (the one who I havent spoken to since that horrible phone call on 20th December last year) informing me that his wife’s aunt had died suddenly. I did know and like the woman so I texted him straight back and my DIL with my condolences. No word came back from him but she did reply with thanks. His text didnt ask how I was or anything. Buggar the lot of them! Give me a house full of cats instead of my eldest two “children”!

Here is my sweater which I made in one week. Just started a little sweater for my friend’s grand son for christmas.

Hugs to everyone.

Will try again. Have to go through this page post then go back a page .

Pixie wow love your jumper. You would be a hit with my craft group. Mind you one of my friends had almost finished a man's jumper on Thursday and realised she had made it 2 sizes to big. She had knitted on the round so she undid the lot and started again infront of us.

I think we are in for a bad winter this year so not going to Whitby as lovely as it is better for the both of you. I got pooed on by a seagull in Whitby luckily on my coat and not my hair. My husband and the kids where in hysterics.

My nephew is a Wiz at computers and can get things back unfortunately he lives over 100 miles away now.

Music festival in August sounds lovely. What sort of music? I love classical always wanted to see the Liverpool Phil play . That's on my to do list for next year. But it will have to be during the day wouldn't go into a city at night .

Lovely you get to see your son twice next month. Wonder if you will met his new partner when you visit him? Enjoy all the treats he will cook when he stays with you .

Sorry about your eldest son but at least your daughter in law replied. I text my son to tell him my best friends husband had died. He has known them all his life . And knows how much they meant to me and his dad . I had been best friends with her since we where 18 met at college. They had been together 38 years and married 36. Why I expected a reply I really don't know. As he never replied when I told him about the HPX but at least he didn't send the letter back I sent with a copy of my neurologists letter and how to get tested. As he could be a carrier for it. Why do I put myself through this I will never know. Wouldn't do it again . It's horrible to know your child is not only a coward,cruel but callous as well. He wasn't brought up that way and no other member of our side of the family is. Have decided he and my daughter in are just like my in laws . They took joy in hurting my husband and me in word and deed. But my husband and me never gave up on them because he loved them but didn't like them. And as much as I hated them neither did I even after he died I looked after his mom and protected her from any treatments she didn't want. And yet my son calls me vindictive and manipulative. Think he should look at himself and his wife.

Smiles you would have laughed if you saw me yesterday. I put waterproof trousers on to add and extra layer. Big scarf wrapped round me and my thick gardening coat ,wooly hat and my hood up. Looked after myself in the mirror and looked like my mom😁. But I was lovely and warm the wind was freezing. It's the last green bin tomorrow so got all the leaves up and picked my first crop of kale from the greenhouse . Read you can pick it young from the outside to encourage more growth. Everything else is growing well but nothing needed watering again .

Hope your singing lesson went well. I am green with envy Madame Butterfly will be lovely. Sting and Alice Cooper I like them both . Johnny Depp is a good actor but haven't heard him sing.

Is Mr S impressed with how your suite looks?

Carol concert will be lovely. My grandson is practicing songs for the nativity. One goes bumping along ,bumping along on a camel. I asked what's it's about he said it's those men going to see the baby. I said the wise men, no, so said the king's yes that's them and started singing again. One of his friends is a camel just hope he doesn't think he has to ride him 😂.

Hugs I hope you have good news tomorrow and the exchange goes through this week and complete soon after. With my buyers it was their solicitor causing all the problems. The man buying their house like me had a good solicitor and like me signed the paperwork in front of the receptionist at the solicitors as you only needed someone to witness your signature. But my buyers solicitor insisted they sign in front of her so they went and she had decided to have the day off so they signed in front of another solicitor. Mind you they didn't help matters by going aboard on holiday for 10 days the month before we finally completed. Why go on holiday when you are buying and selling a house . Madness. Glad I am never going through moving again.

Yogin you did nothing wrong. Unfortunately your ex knew exactly what buttons to press and was cruel and manipulative. You have nothing to be sorry about you where defending yourself. Good for you. Glad your daughter phoned you. Don't feel bad about closing the family what's app it was the right thing to do. My daughter in law posted openly on what's app 2 months after my sons letter when all the unopened cards and crushed baby presents where sent . Showed my daughter and she blocked it as she said if I replied it was an open one so anyone could read it. I had no intention to reply as it's my son I wanted to talk too . She is her mother's problem not mine.

You have plenty of other ways to contact family. Shows how strong you are fighting your corner. 💪.

DerbyshireLass brilliant 🥂🍾 news . All steam ahead. You will love living in a bungalow. It's cheaper and easier to keep warm . Mind
you will get bunga knees. When I moved someone on the house and home thread I was on and still pop on now and again said you will get bunga knees. And she was right. After living here since August 2019 going up stairs is murder on my knees. Found my left one clicks . Oh no I am turning into an old lady 🤣. My mom always said older never old. I will say that in future.

Otter it takes a lot of courage to post for the first time. You will find friendship and understanding here. You are not alone. Others over the years have tried to destroy the support thread but Smiles ,Yogin and other long time posters have defeated all who have tried. Since my time here it's been needed more I know I couldn't have coped without it. Took me a long time to pluck up the courage to post. Sent Smiles quite a few PMs but because of her kindness I posted the first time. So glad I did . These isn't just about estrangement but what's going on in our lives. To me it's like having a cup of tea and chatting with friends. I look forward to reading your posts whenever you feel able to talk.

Namsnanny thank you I write as I talk hence my long rambles. My brother says I have verbal diarrhoea but my brother is cheeky. Never used to be a chatterbox well not as bad as I am now until my husband died . Mind you I do talk out loud to him everyday it gives me comfort. Think that's why when the seizures took my speech it frightened me so much. I was worried I wouldn't speak again. Mind you think sometimes people wish I would shut up 😂.

My friend has finalised all the funeral arrangements. Got the death certificate registered on Friday. My daughter taking me and attending the funeral and wake. Did have to explain to my friend she can't stop people attending the funeral as it a public place but the wake can be invitation only. She has only invited people who care about her and her husband. Yesterday she was surrounded with paperwork and said it's a good job she is focused. But did warn her soon she won't be and will just want to scream and told her to do it out loud. I don't want her or anyone to do what I did. I thought I had to be brave and keep my feelings in . I learnt the hard way how stupid that was. So I encourage anyone who has lost the other half of themselves to scream,cry,shout or hit a pillow it will make you feel better. Lost count of the times I have shouted before I moved this shouldn't be my life. I have blamed my husband so dieing which sounds wicked but I saw him with that stupid grin on his face and know he would understand. My friend is a family counsellor but all her training and years of experience wouldn't help her cope. But I will do everything I can to help her. Unfortunately they where never able to have children. She has no blood relatives but she made me cry the other day when she said I am a sister to her. We choose who we love which is better than some blood relatives. As we all know what blood relatives can do to us. Especially our own children.

My daughter and son in law have altered their work schedule so we can go . He will work from home and take the boys to school and nursery. I did say I would go in the train but my daughter said no I will take you. Which is a good job really as the trains are on strike the 13th and 14th . The funeral is on the 14th.

With all the strikes it's like the 70's again. Will post my Christmas cards this week. Tree will go up on the 1st as usual. I just put the lights on and breakable bells my brother and sister in law brought me from Belgium. Then on the 3rd my grandson with decorate it along with his brother who is 2 now and will want to have a go. However it's decorated it stays that way. I spent years decorating it myself. My first year here it was my son's eldest boys who did it. Little did I know it would be our last Christmas together.

Anyway it will be done on Saturday after we get back from seeing Santa . My daughter asked me a couple of months ago if I wanted to go never say no to an outing. I went last year it was lovely . It's at a large garden centre so hot drink and cake afterwards.

Sainsbury's delivery tomorrow. As it's my grandson's Christmas fair on Thursday will do some baking and freeze the things . I am meeting a friend I met on GN for the first time on Tuesday. She lives in the next county and has relatives up here. My daughter was concerned about me inviting a stranger to my home but have told her all about her and showed her a photo and gave her her address and phone number. But did ask her to trust my judgement. I know she is worried but she forgets how many years I lived on my own. And how many strangers I had viewing my house. Yes they give their name and address to the estate agent but they don't check to see if they are real. It's lovely she wants to protect me .

Have a good day everyone.

Thank you for the kind words Whiff - you are up soon today.
Yes, it is unbelievable just how cruel our families can be. My mam will be doing cart wheels if she is looking down on us right now. The eldest two were such good kids. They spent all of the school holidays with her and every saturday night. I worked part time in the week and we went out on a saturday night.

It is good that your daughter is taking you to the funeral. I have some fantastic friends who live over 200 miles away. They are on the end of the phone anytime that I want to ring them. Such a comfort knowing that they are there for me and that they care.

Knitting keeps me sane at the moment. I feel like I have only a short time to knit all of the things that I want to do - which is ridiculous because none of us know just how long we have on this earth. My head goes to some daft places at times.

Have a lovely day everyone and catch up soon.

Just read thru a few pages here..didn't know this thread before..just wanted to say Have a good Sunday everyone and wish you all good/better health and brighter days

Thank you Bea65 Hope you have a great Sunday too.

(Just a quick one as I'm losing signal. I dropped the phone so..?)

That's a lovely thoughtful sentiment Bea65
The same for you, and hello to Otter

Lovely news DSL I hope you enjoyed the celebratory drink

I'm a bit proud of you yogin in a third party kind of way, for telling your ex off! Sounds as if he deserved it, silly man for stirring up trouble.

Hugshelp enjoy your baking wont you? Both the exicution and the results

Your outings for next year sound exciting smileless2012 your right to plan forward, really helps to have something in the pipeline to look forward to. I hope you enjoyed your lesson, and dont be afraid to sit on your lovely clean suit will you? I know the first thing I would do (or my husband, who is very clumsy), is spill a drink on it!😂

Purplepixie once again so impressed with your management of your depression, the resulting jumper is the cream on the top. Sorry you havent heard back from your son 🥺.
I do hope you are climbing out the other side now?
Please show is the baby cardi when done.

Whiff Losing a post hasn't put a dent in your ability to write the 2nd one, has it? 🤣😊
Belgian Christmas lights, not chocolates for a change. They sound pretty. Maybe you could post a photo? Only if.you feel comfortable, not every one likes their life to be posted on.line, I know.
Lovely to read your 'ramblings' as always.

Just about to have a take away coffee. Rain has stopped but huge puddles everywhere, so I'm stepping around them awkwardly, due to my ruddy knee! But I must keep moving.
Brought back a memory of my son in a bright yellow mac, around 3yrs jumping into a puddle which was deeper than.he thought and falling flat on his face poor little thing, but all we could do after we could see he was ok, was laugh. He did too. So plucky! Wish I had that time over.
Anyone see the Vicar of Dibley version of that, Dawn French in a mac up to her eyes in mud! She was supposed to be on a romantic walk with a new boyfriend!
That always reminded me of my day out with the children.

Onwards and upwards all🧗‍♀️

Hi everyone, just catching up on all your news, so much going on.
DSL, congratulations a good year for you, new home and better relationship with your son,
Smileless, Such a lot of lovely things to look forward to next year, it’s good having things planned., I think I need singing lessons, known to mouth carols if I can’t reach the notes.
Namsnanny, I got caught in torrential rain last Thursday, leaving the pub after a meal, my umbrella blew inside out,I dropped my keys, bent to retrieve them and my skirt blew over my head, I got into the car a wreck, goodness knows what people eating their meals looking out if the window made of me.
Pixie, love your jumper. I don’t know how to manage without some craft project on them go. Regarding your son.,It’s hard isn’t it? Knowing those you love don’t seem to care what’s going on in your life. Concentrate on the ones you do have. I, think we always want the lost sheep.
Hello Otter, nice to see you hope you get moral support, just knowing that others are going though what you are. None of us expected it for sure.
Hugshelp, Your house!will all go though very soon, it’s always so stressful, but somehow it all comes together.

Thanks Hugs

Hope you enjoyed your singing lesson Smiles

Pixie lovely jumper, clever you!

Thank you Whiff with hindsight I would have kept my mouth shut and stayed silent.

Thank you Bea

Thanks Namsnanny what a nice thing to say

Yes, I've seen that video clip Namsnanny very funny! I'm now waiting to see the one of Allsorts surly someone caught it on camera

Allsorts - sorry but I laughed out loud when I read about you incident. Mine years ago was much worse and it happened late at night when I ended up in a car park without a stitch on! Oh yes! Tell you all about it at a later date.

I finished the little sweater for my friends grandson. Also post a photo later.

I feel chewed to bits this morning. A parcel had been left outside of our front door (which we never use) since friday! Our usual posties and delivery people know not to use this door and it even has a sign to say use the back door. The key has been jammed in for years and hubby hasn’t got round to sorting it out. Well, the box was damp but thankfully the contents are ok. Then I bought a new blender and hubby quite gleefully pointed out that we have the same type plus parts shoved at the back of the cupboard. I don’t spend my time looking in cupboards! But his attitude annoyed me. Then he got the new one out of the box and had it up and running. Sorry but I felt like a kid and wanted to stamp my feet and say that is mine and I have just trudged to Argos and bought it myself. Sorry for the rant but I am not 17! So the old one is going to the charity shop with all the parts. I needed a new souperator anyway! Grrrrrrrrrrr!

I received a beautiful parcel from my youngest son this morning. All goods that he had brought from USA. Chocolates, badges and fridge magnets, fabulous!

Making an orange cake this afternoon and starting to knit a couple of hats for two great friends of ours for christmas.

I’m calm - I’ve just had a cuppa!

ooh, your plans sound wonderful smiles. Very jealous.

The sweater is gorgeous purplepixie

I'm sorry you got no response Whiff. That's just cruel.

lovely to see you Bea

Very puddly here too nams. Hope you enjoyed the coffee.

The cake sounds delicious allsorts

Another day of everyone in the chain trying to gear up to exchange while the EA and solicitor at the bottom responded to no phone calls or emails at all. They just don't answer anything.

Oh dear Hugs. That is awful. Nerve wracking. I do hope it's all resolved soon.

Well I am just about all packed up. Move out on Thursday. I get the keys to the rental on Wednesday. I shall pop over with some kitchen stuff so I can set up a "working kitchen" in readiness.

Legally complete next Monday so I can pop back here Sunday to give the house one final clean. Shouldn't take long. I'm cleaning cupboards etc as I empty them.

Yes 2022 has been a much better year. I am both pleased and relieved at how things have finally come together.

Tbh it couldn't have been any worse than recent years. 2021 was the nadir and Christmas with my son and his wife was just too awful for words.

Her behaviour was atrocious but in a funny way that was my wake up all. I resolved "never again". I decided that I would never put myself through that again, one way or another something had to change. And so as I made plans.

Each year I chose a word or phrase to be my motivation, this year I chose "radical transformation". I was determined to transform my life so I put Christmas behind me, and set my troubles with my DIL to one side, adopting my red velvet rope policy, and threw myself into getting the house market ready,

Well it took all year but here I am ready to move into my new temporary home, just in time for Christmas. The bungalow is so pretty, beautifully decorated and joy of joy it has a much better energy rating so hopefully I will be warm and cosy without breaking the bank.

I also made a start on myself, upping the personal care, losing over 1 stone and revamping my wardrobe.

But the most rewarding.......I finally plucked up courage to tackle my son and see if we could improve our relationship. It was probably the hardest thing I did this year. It was a huge gamble but I simply couldn't continue the way things were.

Tackling the situation head on the way I did meant I risked permanent estrangement but tbh I was prepared to go down that route if necessary. I felt that our relationship was heading that way anyway so whatever happened it couldn't be any worse. It was a gamble but it paid off. We are now back on an even keel. I have my son back. He's once more the warm and affectionate son I thought I had lost.

I know for sure now that my son does want me in his life and that he is prepared to put up a fight. I don't know what he has said to my DIL but she has done a complete 180 degree turn around and is now courteous, respectful and friendly.

I have let it all go, I'm not going to bear her a grudge. She can't help what she is but I can modify my response. My husband used to have a mantra which I have adopted. He used to say "that was then and this is now, and that is our karma".

I have decided to let go of many of the emotional burdens that I have been carrying for so many years. My less than idyllic childhood and my fraught relationships with my narcissist father for a start.

I now thank him for showing me how to deal with narcs, especially my DIL. I have learned how to understand her and how to get the best from her, all thanks to the lessons I learned from dealing with my father. So instead of continuing to be angry with him for spoiling so many of life chances I now thank him for teaching me how to be strong and wise.

But more to the point I am finally getting to know my grandchildren and it is so gratifying. I wont say more because I don't want to upset or offend any of you, especially in the run up to Christmas. I know how painful it is for all of you. I am sending you hugs and 💐 and I do hope that you can find peace and solace.

I lost my husband in 2014 and my journey through grief has been long and arduous but I am finally ready to move forward now. I will carry him in my heart until the day I die but thankfully I no longer feel that awful raw gnawing grief and overwhelming sadness.

I have done a lot of "thought work" this year, listened to a lot of podcasts and read a lot about grief, about narcissism and about personal development. I didn't go for grief counselling but I did do some work with an online life coach which I found very beneficial. It helped me get my head round all the issues I was having to deal with.

I am feeling really positive and optimistic now. My move will be the gateway to my new life. I shall even be better off financially ....💃. A big plus. 😁

I have worked like a demon for 4 years on this house, transforming it from a dilapidated, neglected, unloved house into a pretty and very desirable property. I have even made a nice little profit in the process.

So now it's time for a sabbatical, a year off before I take on another project.

So it's onwards and upwards, continuing my "radical transformation". First I am going to use some of the profits to get my teeth sorted. 😱😱. Its going to be expensive and time consuming but it's something I have been putting off for far too long, I also intend to join a gym and get fitter and stronger. I also want to lose another stone and I might even treat myself to a new car, a sassy little convertible.

No more sadness and sorrow. No more anxiety, no more walking on eggshells and no more people pleasing, I am putting that emotional burden down.

At the risk of sounding shallow and selfish, it's my time now. Time to be the fun grandma and enjoy my autumn years.

Allsorts, sorry but you did make me chuckle. Gorgeous sweater Pixie, you are so clever.

Otter, hello and well done for posting, it is so hard but I can guarantee you will get lots of support on here. When I first found this thread I was a wreck, reeling from the shock of what was going on with my family. My DIL was bullying me and trying to use emotional blackmail, isolating and alienating my son, turning him against me. My grandchildren were like strangers to me. I hardly ever saw them and they didn't know me. I was so ill, I couldn't sleep or eat. I thought I was going to end up with a stroke or a heart attack,

But the friendship, support, help and advice I got on here invaluable. It made me realise I wasn't alone and it helped find my voice and fight back. I don't think I would be where I am today without this thread.

Well once again I've rambled on.

I'm tired out tonight, so early night, ready for the final push. I have got to go to town tomorrow to drop the keys off at the estate agents, so I shall have a browse round the shops and treat myself to a nice lunch.

Pixie my day starts at 5 am as that's when I have to take my first lot of tablets. But I don't get out of bed until 7am. Unless I have to go out early and then up at 6. But since moving here I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. And sleep well .

Glad you have good friends it doesn't matter how far away they are it's how you feel about eachother that counts. As you choose to love your friends and let's be honest they are better than blood . Just look at what our children have done to us.

Love both your jumpers. My mom was the knitter in the family from aged 6 . You name it she knitted it. It broke her heart the day she forgot how to do a stitch. Before that she forgot how to read a pattern but I used to read it out and it made her happy that she was able to knit her first great grandson a couple of cardigans , hat and booties. And she got to hold him . My hope is my son and daughter in law haven't removed the photos of her holding him they had on their wall. Funny dementia robbed my mom of knowing who everyone was but she remembered him think it was because he was a baby . My mother in law loved to knit Aran jumpers my daughter unpicked an old one of her dad's and knitted a cushion cover . I loved to knit but when the HPX got worse I couldn't co ordinate the needles together. Tried crochet couldn't get the hand of it. But glad I discovered cross stitch 6 years ago. Am addicted to it.

Craft stills the mind well that's what I think and my craft group friends say the same. No matter how ill or what worries we have we still do our chosen craft. My sister in law crochets and needle felts. MS has robbed her of so much but still able to do it . Smaller projects than she used to do but her work is beautiful.

Hello Bea glad you found us.

Namsnanny I can always ramble but that's me in real life. Sorry I meant Belgium Christmas bell decorations not lights. Will post a picture of them when I get them out on 1st.

I have never been able to take the children to school . Used to puddle jump with my daughter but never with my son wasn't able to but my mom did. My mom and dad where putty in their hands. My children had 2 nans and a grandad in their lives longer than their dad. Yet my son and daughter in law only allow my 3 grandson's to know one nannie. And that's sad for them.

Allsorts glad to see you back . I chuckled about your skirt. When I went for my 20 week scan we expecting my daughter. In those days you had to take your knickers off and put on a gown walking towards the scan room my husband suddenly grabbed hold of me from behind and frog marched me into the room. Yep I flashed a waiting room of people my naked bum.

Keeping posting Allsorts you have been missed. 💐

Pixie glad you got your parcel even though it was left in the rain. Evri was going to deliver a parcel on Sunday I had an email saying they tried and no one was in. Which was a lie I was in all day no one rang my bell or knocked my door. Couldn't get hold of them so phoned The Works who my parcel was coming from. They looked and the courier had said it was a business and it was closed. I live in a bungalow. No parcel or email yesterday so phoned The Works again they have chased it but said if I don't get it on Wednesday they will resend all the contents .

Hope you enjoy all the goodies your son sent. That was a lovely surprise for you.

Hugs I hope you have some good news today and exchange and complete this week. I never understand why people drag their feet. Deciding to sell and buy a new home is a big step and something to look forward to. Trouble is people aren't locked into buying once their offer is accepted and survey are done. It should be as estate agents don't get paid until completion but if course some solicitors drag it out to make more money. I had a good solicitor and knew up front what it was going to cost and never got charged extra when 2 buyers pulled out. Had fixed rate at the estate agent and no penalty if I pulled out.

DerbyshireLass brilliant news ,new you ,new life ahead of you. I have written a lot how much moving has changed my life for the better . No long exist but live my life to the full. Lost my son and grandson's but his choice not mind I had no idea it was going to happen. But have gained so much more. Don't do what I did and went mad cleaning my old house I wore myself out and ended up in tears because I hurt myself getting it done. Because I stayed with my brother and sister the night before completion because the removal people had cleared my house . After dinner we went back and he helped me finish. Funny enough I wasn't sad to leave as it had been a millstone round my neck . And I had detached myself from the house as soon as I put it in the market. Having my bungalow waiting for me made me happy. And already had plans of all the things I wanted to do to it.

Having the rental bungalow gives you some breathing space and takes the pressure off. Christmas to look forward to .

Stay well and keep warm my friends .

DSL the year has ended well for you, congratulations, a fresh start it's all worked out for you.
Hugs hope you get positive news today.
Whiff my day stars early too, I don't mind if I can get 5 hours it's wonderful.
Smileless did the singing lesson help you?
Pixie hope you are ok, what a lovely thing for your son to do, getting all those thoughtful gifts from him.
Depression is awful, you can't see ahead, then gradually chinks of light appear.

So good to hear how well things are going DSL - can't wait for you to tell us all about your new life when you settle in. It's so inspiring to hear how everything has turned around. The positivity of where you are now just shines out.

I love knitting Aran sweaters whiff thought I admit I haven't made one for a couple of years. I did a lace sweater this year and lots of hats and socks.

Thank you allsorts.

Have a good day all.

Have a great day all.

Any news yet, Hugs. I am sure you will hear something soon. I bet they will all want to be in by Christmas, so I am sure you'll see a flurry of activity soon. The waiting is awful though, especially given the current economic climate. I have never been so anxious about a house sale as I was this time round. My fear was that the first time buyers in our chain would be swayed by all the bad news and doom and gloom and that they would get cold feet at the last minute.

Just got back from dropping my keys off at the EA. When I dropped them off one of my original contacts said "ooh that was quick wasnt it". I laughed and said "actually it's been over six months" and we had a good laugh about how quickly time flies by. I can be relaxed now but this time last week I was in panic mode, unable to sleep and my digestive system was all over the place. It wasn't until exchange finally happened on Friday that I could relax.

Since my year from hell last year I had got into a bad habit of "catastrophising", of my imagination running away with me and allowing visions of the the worst possible scenarios to torment me. I've had to make a concerted effort to stop torturing myself with "what if it doesn't work out" and switch my internal monologue to "what if it all works out beautifully".

I never used to be such a Negative Nellie and I don't want to be her any more. However, dealings with my DIL last year in particular stripped all my confidence and I became a shadow of my former cheerful happy go lucky self. It was only when I reached rock bottom (which was when I found this thread) and it looked like I was losing my son that I finally stood up for myself and fought back.

Thankfully things have turned round and I'm looking forward. However I will never forget the pain, heartache and trials and tribulations that I have endured this last couple of years. My biggest takeaway is that I will never allow my DIL or anyone else to ever humiliate me or undermine me again. I shall never be a doormat again.

I do know that if my husband had been alive things would never have reached such a pretty pass. He would have protected me. One of the hardest lessons from the last couple of years I had to learn is I am now completely alone. It's all up to me, no one was going to help me, no one was coming to my rescue. I really do think that's one of the most difficult takeaways of losing one's life partner, the final realisation that you are alone. I have lost my biggest cheerleader and best friend.

I have been both estranged and widowed. I completely understand why estrangement is called a living bereavement. It's heartbreaking, there's no closure and the pain just goes on and on. At least with death it's final and eventually the raw grief subsides. I now just thank my lucky stars that I got a second chance and have managed to rebuild my relationship with my son. I realise I am a very fortunate woman.

Got to nip out to Lidl for a few bits and then I'm need to make a start on the change of address notifications. Phew, it's all go.

It's very cold and damp today, so I came straight home from town, didn't bother mooching round the shops or having lunch. Just too cold and miserable.