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Estrangement

Friendship,advice and support if estrangement has affected your life.

(1001 Posts)

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Whiff Wed 03-Aug-22 18:58:20

Setting this up now as posts are coming thick and fast .

hugshelp Tue 22-Nov-22 11:16:01

Thanks DSL
I certainly would smiles. Hope Saturday is worth the wait. Glad you won the thermostat wars. Me too.
Thanks Whiff - every time I read how happy your move has made you, it helps me to keep hanging on and hoping. I'm the same with the memory problems - I have Alexa giving me constant reminders and lists and calendars all regimented.
I've never eaten in a Turkish restaurant either. I have made a few Turkish recipes and they were very nice.
The support gloves sound great. Happy Birthday to your GS. I have one of those hooded wearable blanket things - mine's red. So cosy!
Oh my goodness, how awful for your friend. Her DH to go so suddenly like that.
Great to hear about the publication. Glad you had a good day.

Solicitor and EAs chasing today but both think the move date will have to be put back. Really hoping it is just a delay. And this weather isn't helping. I'm trying to get all the laundry up to date, bedding etc done, but it will not stop raining. It feels endless now.

Namsnanny Tue 22-Nov-22 11:26:43

Well done purplepixie I'm sure your friends gs will look fabulous in his jumper.
Sewing up isnt the best of jobs for me either. It's hard work getting the seams lined up just right, so good lucksmile

Hugshelp hoping your house move gets going soon. People can be so thoughtless at times. Or is it simply disorganised?

Smiless2012 Glad you won the thermostat tournament! Luckily for me the weather has been less cold here, than it has been at this time in other years.

Whiff I really enjoyed your catch up post! It was as if you were in the room, talking.
I'm so glad you are happy with the house move
I never thought I would want to up sticks. In fact I always vowed I wouldnt. But things change, and I'm now looking to de clutter and decorate with a view to moving when it suits. There is a few good years of work first though!
I'm sorry to hear about your friends husband. I'm glad you have each other.flowers

hugshelp Tue 22-Nov-22 19:41:50

Thank you NamsNanny. Ooh, enjoy your decluttering. I must say I rather enjoyed that bit and the charity shop were very happy with all the carloads.

Yoginimeisje Wed 23-Nov-22 07:58:58

Thank you Smiles. Today is my estD 33yr birthday!

Yoginimeisje Wed 23-Nov-22 08:20:49

Glad you're feeling a bit brighter today Whiff. At least your friends H didn't suffer and went quickly. Nice to have good long-standing friends. Raining again here! Yes, my little dog has a blue raincoat with a big red poppy on for Remembrance Day. He also has a sheepskin winter coat.

Yoginimeisje Wed 23-Nov-22 08:29:28

Hugs hope you've heard some good news re your house completion date, it's a nightmare isn't it!

Pixie well done on finishing your jumper, yes need a pic please. And nice to hear you have your ticket to see your son in Dec. something nice to look forward too.

Purplepixie Wed 23-Nov-22 11:06:38

How is the house completion date coming along Hugs? Hope all is going well.

Managing to dodge the train strikes with my day out to see my youngest son. Just got the last few bits of sewing up to do on the jumper which I cast on last wednesday. It has helped me this week setting myself the target of knitting a jumper in a week.

Debating whether to send my eldest son and family cards and cash for christmas this year. Maybe send to the grand kids as they always text me after I have texted them. Not sure about the adults. I stopped sending my daughter anything last year as I didnt even get notification that she had got it. I have sent her birthday and christmas cards/gift vouchers for the previous 6 years and stopped it last year. Buggar it! I will always sent to her daughters because they come here ok. Its strange but one is 12 and the other 15 and yet they never mention their mam. Never ask why I am not speaking to her. Never ask why I am not visiting them. Strange.

hugshelp Wed 23-Nov-22 11:35:13

Thanks Yogin.

Just waiting DSL. We thought we were exchanging last Monday. The completion date is supposed to be next Monday. Bottom of the chain suddenly delayed Monday and now they are responding to nothing from solicitors above. Though tbf their solicitor has hardly responded to anything from day 1. This it the new buyers for the house that fell through - and it was them that set the completion date and asked us to have papers ready Monday morning for exchange.
Can't wait to see the jumper - hope you'll show us.
I'm doing mostly cards and cash this year, and bugger anyone who isn't in touch.

Smileless2012 Wed 23-Nov-22 13:46:49

and bugger anyone who isn't in touch well said hugsgrin. So is the new date for exchanging this Monday? You must be fed up with it all but it will be worth itsmile.

Sending you a BIG (((hug))) and some flowers Yogin, their birthdays are hard aren't they. It was our ES's at the beginning of this month. I find it gets a little easier but not easy enoughsad.

Great news about your ticket to go and visit your DS Pixie. Something to really look forward too.

Choir was great last night. Found out we'll be singing 'O Holy Night'; one of my favourites which always makes me a bit emotional.

hugshelp Wed 23-Nov-22 15:20:05

We were supposed to move next Monday. That means today is the last feasible day for exchange for those who need mortgage funds releasing. Clearly not happening. But nobody can get any response from the bottom of the chain who suggested the completion date, released transfer documents in readiness for exchange, and are now holding things up. No exchange, no comment on when they might, nothing.

Glad you enjoyed choir smiles.

Smileless2012 Wed 23-Nov-22 17:16:14

FGS what are they playing at? There should be some kind if financial penalty for people who start messing around at the 11th hour.

DerbyshireLass Wed 23-Nov-22 19:05:20

Oh dear Hugshelp, how frustrating and how stressful.

hugshelp Wed 23-Nov-22 19:46:15

There was some kind of flurry of communications late on. Still not clear what's happening but at least the solicitors and EAs are getting some responses so we might have some clarity tomorrow.

Yoginimeisje Thu 24-Nov-22 08:59:12

Hugs It goes from nothing to suddenly speeding to the actually move, very frustrating. Goodluck.

Thank you Smiles. I did feel emotional on the day, owing to the previous situation, for the first time in about 8yrs I actually had her mobile number, so I sent a 'Happy birthday' message, nothing more, then spoke with my DD about it all. Still feeling emotional a message came through on our family 'whatsapp' it was my ex sending a big HB mm to our D. My DD replied saying she's not on here dad, message her privately I replied you know she's not on here, you have her contact details I then called him a choice name [which I shouldn't have] and said he'd only posted to upset, which he had succeeded in. It then all kicked off big time, got very ugly & ended in a foot long message from him completely slating me in every way! My DD phoned me saying don't reply, don't reply which I didn't. So made for a really upsetting day!

Smileless2012 Thu 24-Nov-22 09:15:31

Oh that's awful Yogin I'm so sorry, as if the day wasn't hard enough to deal with. You'd think he'd just be satisfied having his relationship with her, without the need to rub your nose in it.

Good for you for taking your DD's advice and not replying. I can imagine how great the temptation must have been to do so flowers.

hugshelp Thu 24-Nov-22 09:46:28

Oh Yogin - I'm so sorry you had to put up with that. It really does sound like someone wanted to ruin your day. How nasty.

hugshelp Thu 24-Nov-22 17:33:56

Another day with zero responses to EAs or solicitors from bottom of chain.

Smileless2012 Fri 25-Nov-22 09:11:08

You must be completely fed up hugs and wondering if you'll ever to the end of this processflowers.

Having the suite in our upstairs sitting room cleaned at the moment. Because the fabric contains viscose, it's not advisable for us (that's Mr. S of course) to clean it ourselves. Two years since it was last cleaned so I'm looking forward to seeing how good it looks when it's dried.

Mr. S. bless him said 'does it need cleaning?' 'oh yes' I replied, 'you'll see a big difference once it's done'.

Hope you get some news today hugs. Have a good day everyone.

Yoginimeisje Fri 25-Nov-22 09:18:53

Feeling bad today, even with this lovely sunny dry day.
Feeling bad about losing it on my 'family whatsapp' Should have ignored as I usually do with any of his posts. My S&B-i-l
left the group without seeing my Ex's foot long nasty, followed by my DD who did read it and said she thought him drunk. Him living in Indonesia means when he posts it's his evening and our morning, so often his posts come across so.

I apologised on the FWA, saying I shouldn't have said the B word and then I left too. So, from that the family WhatsApp is closed unless my ex wants to talk to himself grin

Smileless2012 Fri 25-Nov-22 09:48:09

Don't feel bad Yoginflowers. It was an understandable reaction, he's a prat for being unnecessarily unkind on your ED's birthday. It's alright for him, he has contact with her.

Give yourself a treat today and how about a wine to toast your good fortune that at least he's your ex!!!

hugshelp Fri 25-Nov-22 13:05:01

Hope the cleaner does a great job smiles. And thanks.
Don't beat yourself up yogin. Others have behaved worse here.

DerbyshireLass Fri 25-Nov-22 14:25:58

Yogin.....sounds like you were deliberately set up. It's easy to He sounds nasty. Just thank your lucky stars and count your blessings that he is your ex and no longer your problem. As for losing it, don't beat yourself up, you're only human. The people who know you and love you are the ones that matter now, not your ex.

Well I'm full of the joy of spring......😁

This Morning we finally exchanged contracts, I have signed the lease to my rental and paid the rent, booked the removal van. Phew!!!!!

Relieved and excited. Tonight I shall celebrate. 🥂💃.

Hugs.....any news yet on your exchange.

Otter99 Fri 25-Nov-22 20:02:21

Family watsapps have a lot to answer for the majority of the time in theese situations. It is after all a form of social media, dont beat yourself up too much for a natural knee jerk response. I've been lurking for a while and just have found the courage (baileys) to post. Hello to everyone and sorry we all find ourselves in this situation.

hugshelp Fri 25-Nov-22 22:21:39

So glad you exchanged DSL.
No news at all here. Bottom of chain simply not responding to solicitors or EAs.
Hi Otter 99

Smileless2012 Fri 25-Nov-22 22:33:33

Hello Otter and a warm welcome to the support thread. Well done for summing up the courage to post here; the first post really is the hardest as we can all attest tooflowers.

Wow, that's really good news DSL you must be over the moonsmile.

Oh hugs keeping everything crossed that you get some news on Monday. Hang in there and stay strongflowers.

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