🦞🦂 *What are we up to?*🦂🦞

Yes indeed Grammaretto I have had it said to me so many times. “you’re doing so well” “DH wouldn’t want you to be unhappy” “ things are back to normal now” . I have found that only those who have been bereaved a spouse understand. Losing a parent or sibling isn’t the same. Just as I cannot comprehend what it’s like to lose a child. I am part of an online bereavement group who are all about two years in. It’s such a relief to be able to talk to them and say I’ve been crying all day. Or so unhappy and they understand. Putting on a mask become second nature now. At the end of the day there is nothing anyone can do to help so no point in bringing them down too. We just keep plodding on. As the Beatles said “all the lonely people, where do they all come from”
I do hope you get a buyer soon. I take it music man is still in the picture.
Hope all are having a good Easter. I’ve been in church today helping with the flowers which hasn’t done my hayfever any good but the company was nice,

That's a lovely age, Grammaretto. Such good company, make the most of it before the teenager creeps in!
But they do seem tireless, don't they? Is she fully recovered from her surgery?

Ah, a new car too! Always referred to in our family as a twinklecento thanks to DC3's inability as a small child to pronounce it properly.

Actually, a DF at the time suggested I buy one, preferably in pink, since it would would lack any street cred with our boys who were learning to drive, and/or hoping to borrow Mum's car for trips out with their mates.

It has been very stormy here over the last couple of days. It made the journey of our cross-carrying Vicar even more precarious as he and congregation processed through the village yesterday.
The donkey seemed less perturbed.

Happy Easter to all our 🦞s, near and far.

Kaimoana, how's the ear? Hoping it is back to normal asap🌻

I agree, Doodle - no one can have any idea of the bleakness and utter despair of being trapped in that vice of grief, knowing you can do nothing to get out.

My Easter weekend, like most, has been very quiet. I've been trying to find someone who can help me move to nearere my son. It looked hopeful for a while with the Sallies (my landlords) but it has all fallen through.

If I could see, I'd have no problems doing it for myself - but I can't.

We have a culture here of making sure people stay in their own homes as long as possible.
The idea (it's really a con to abdicate any responsibility to help) is that you remain independent but when "indepedenence" means living alone and at risk with only sporadic, temporary help - its a daily Russian Roulette situation.

Ha ha - got that off my chest !!

My son is arranging a belated birthday lunch for me in a fortnight. They sent away their table to be French polished and it unexpectedly took far longer than they anticipaged!!

I wouldn't have minded a comfy chair and sandwich

I have not wanted to bother him with my anxieties but I think I shall be forced to do so as successive angencies let me down.

No, my ear has not stopped hurting and now the other has come out in sympathy! I've had antibiotics and its helped but only a little.

Its a lovely, sunny day here - mild and calm and full of birdsong, the opposite to your storms.

They, I know, are in the offing for us as Autumn creeps ever nearer.

.

Kaimoana you do all you can to protect your son from your needs and troubles. Not bothering him while he was in the UK. Not telling him how bad things had got for you. I think it’s time you ask him for some help. Perhaps your older granddaughter too. Between them could they help you get a more suitable home. I know you are a very independent woman Ho has spent so much time helping others I do feel that maybe others could help you a bit now.
Oh that all the lobstars could come and lend a hand. That would be a force to be reckoned with,
Ixion i Hope you don’t get blown away. Your vicar and the donkey sound a wonderful adventure. Our stuffed donkey was very placid and caused no trouble. 🤣. Another beautiful service today,
Didn’t go to our sons for dinner after all. The family have a sickness bug or food poisoning. I stayed home and did some art.
Grammaretto hope you’ve had a good Easter and hopefully good news about your house move /sale soon.

That's a shame that the family were sick and you missed the family meal Doodle

I wish your family and friends could rally round and get things moving for you Kaimoana

I had a lovely time at the other DGP apart from the noise level when their 2 and 4 yr old cousins had meltdowns.

Then my DS#1 came over with his dog, had a cup of tea and shared his worries about the state of the world. 😔

He did get my smart TV to work again for the first time since I changed my network.
Not that there's any thing much I want to watch.

DD's girls are coming to me tomorrow as it's still school holidays and other DGP are busy minding another DGC. DD and DSiL are both working.

I hope the weather improves. It's been snowing and freezing here.

Night night Lobstars.

Over the past few days there have been nuumerous loud bang like gunshots or more.
It seems some local person is setting off home made bombs.

I am so sorry I moaned at you all. Its just that I'm getting more anxious and afraid living alone. My DS can't help, even if I told him. They are 4 living in a 3 bedroom house.

Rent are so high here (after doubling of uncontrolled rents after Covid) that they could not afford anything bigger.

Kaimoana I'm really fed up for you. I really hoped a move was on the cards to be nearer family. My mother-in-law said she wished she'd made the move years ago when she finally came to live near us.

Is there a possibility of doing an exchange with someone who wants to be where you are?
I have no idea how housing works there but really do wish someone would step up and be useful!

What a pity we aren't closer to you... we could have all camped out in the office of the "powers that be" until there was some sort of action!.🦞🦂🦞🦂
Snip snippety snip

And why is your bloomin' ear being so uncooperative?...
and why has the other one joined in????
👂👂

I agree with NotSpaghetti but can be of no help unfortunately.
I wish I had a magic wand 🪄

Sending get well wishes Kaimoana

I know from my son also that NZ has a housing shortage especially in the cities.
And housing is expensive.

My DGC are contentedly playing with new Lego sets I have just bought for them.
The older one noticed the price and commented on it.
I told her it was a mix of Easter, appendix, birthday and Granny so a number of good reasons for spending money on them.

DS was round last night but he is still a bit down although his new accommodation in Ireland sounds an improvement. At least he can walk to work.

Another auction house wants me to send photos of the things I want to sell.
I'll try but it would be so much quicker if they came to do it!

The weather is warmer and calmer today.

The auctioneer came to value things (and decide if he would house clear if required) at my mother-in-law's home.
We needed a value for probate... He was with us 30 mins (maximum) and charged £120. He came 4 miles.

Sorry your son isn't feeling very chirpy Grammaretto
It is true that you are only as happy as your most miserable child!

...but how lovely to have bought the Lego. You can never have too much!
Well maybe you can - - but at least it would sell!

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Lovely Bank Holiday weather here.

Tubs looking good unlike the rest of the garden

Hi. Well I sent a message this morning but its obviously trying to catch up with the astronauts! Its so annoying when posts vanish like that. Grrr!
Feel for Grammaretto and Kiamoana. Moving is such a nightmare. We live in a 3 bed detached house which because the rooms are quite big is really too much for us and we would love to move to a bungalow but neither of us can face the hassle! The amount of “stuff* in this house is ridiculous. So much isnt used or worn and I really feel for our offspring when anything happens to us! Actually I know they will just get a skip and throw everything in!!
DH birthday meal went well. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and the food was excellent. The noise was incredible but luckily we were in a room on our own and didn’t disturb anyone else. Its been a very hectic few weeks and we are both very tired. Poor old souls!!
Photo of DHs birthday cake coming up - I hope! He was very pleased with the cake but more impressed by the cricketer on the top which is now standing on the mantlepiece

Kaimoana you are not moaning. You never moan. What you’re going through isn’t fair. I wasn’t suggesting you move in with your son or that he helps pay for somewhere I just wondered if he could help to arrange something for you. Somewhere better to live where more help is available. Hat about your granddaughter. Could she look into things for you.
I certainly hope you don’t have any bomb makers near you. It sounds very odd.
Notspaghetti I’m with you we could certainly stage a lobstars sit in.
Grammaretto lovely to have your grandchildren with you. Lego was always a bit hit with mine too. Sorry your son is a bit down. Doesn’t matter how old they get we never stop worrying about them.
ixion your tubs look lovely. I have a few pots on my balcony and they are all blooming. I get a lot of sun.
P.S the little cross you sent me a while ago is in daily use and very dear to me. 💕
Jan so pleased the birthday went well. The cake looks amazing. Glad your Dh enjoyed it.

Please don't worry about me - there is always a solution.

There are two things against me - the obvious being my eyesight. Finding alt accomm. would be no problem at all were I able to see.
So, as I can’t, I wont

The otheer is finance (and has aways been
I am in a property which admits lower rent tenants, at around 2/3rd of market rent and appox 50% of my pension.

The area where my son lives is fairly posh, a high rent area, no Salvation Army housing at all. “Keep out the riff-raff”

So, if I could see, I'd research the landlords who would accept a tenant like me.

My son lives appro 59km away, so a round trip journey takes a huge chunk out of any day. Plus, petrol is extremely expensive and going up on a regular basis.

Hong Kong has the most xpensive gas in the world at £7 a gallon; ours is £6.20. But DS does his best and tries to balance it all after a very long daily trek to work from his home.

I receuved an unsolicited offer from one of the numerous companies who will pack for you and move you to new premises.
About £26 an hour if you please - and I bet they work slowly

Saw my doctor today, a follow up to the prescribed antibiotic which, a couple of weeks ago she'd prescribed without seeing me. Thus my ear is more comfortable and the pain responds to paracetamol. I have to remember not to lie on it at night.

Phlebotomist is coming to take blood on Friday and I can't help but remember Tony Hancock's sketch 'You're a legalised vampire!'

In the UK we sell our petrol in litres now Kaimoana. I expect you know that though. It is ridiculously pricey at the moment. The diesel was £1.90 a litre on a road near me recently.

...The UK (and the Hong Kong) gallon is bigger than the US one. I wonder if they sell fuel in litres or gallons in Hong Kong? I'm nearly certain that the US uses gallons.

Did you know that the US system is based on the "Queen Anne’s Gallon" - a "wine gallon" from the early 1700s? Later we overhauled our system to create the "Imperial Gallon" which is based on the volume of 10 pounds of water, but of course by then, the US had become independent and kept the smaller, earlier, gallon.

I can't remember the litre difference but ours is roughly 1.2 times the size of the US one.
Hong Kong uses ours

We used to buy glass gallon jars of milk direct from a small organic dairy when we lived in America. We have some lovely photos (and great memories) of our little daughter stroking and loving the retired matriarch there.

Kaimoana glad your ear is feeling a bit better. I too loved the Tony Hancock sketch.
I think you have some contact with some people who deal with eyesight problems. Could they not help with accommodation. Is there no form of sheltered housing or some such thing available for you where help will be at hand?
Grammaretto i have been reading elsewhere what a lovely time you had with your DGC. Lego, pottery, musical instruments. A fun day and art gallery with another. Sounds very nice.

I was very saddened to read today about the passing of lovely Soop of Soop’s kitchen. Such a kind and caring gentle soul. Sadly missed I’m sure by her dear husband and family.

I also read about Soop's death Doodle . She will be sadly missed on GN as well as by her family.

I have had a busy few days but today the weather was gorgeous when I met my DGD at the art gallery. It was so nice. We looked around the Joan Eardley exhibition, bought earrings and a t shirt in the shop and had lunch in their sunny garden.

This afternoon I picked up my new car. I drove the old one to the garage with hardly any brakes. It's to be sold for scrap and spare parts.

Music man was at my house while I was out, talking to someone from TV news. The interview was on tonight.

I am so glad that your earache has eased Kaimoana . That must have been horrible!

Thanks for the information about measurements NotSpaghetti. I never knew that!

I just knew that American cup is slightly smaller than the English one. I still haven't worked out how you can measure butter by the cup.

Very good night Lobstars 🦞 🦞 🦞

Morning Lobstars....I keep losing days. Bank Holidays always do that to me. We had a lovely long weekend. It was a good decision not to go away in Maeve Mouse as we ended up getting lots of things achieved including a new greenhouse ( I need to get out more I know)

It was advertised on FB marketplace brand new never been erected and half the original price. We had to go to Dorchester to collect it but it was a lovely drive through the countryside. I love this time of year.

Then on Saturday the man that has been doing the garden renovation unexpectedly had a day off and came to finish the last raised bed and laid the last of the lovely Dorset gravelled area.

A water feature that had been reclining on the deck area was moved to the centre of the newly gravelled area and the whole thing looks really pretty.

Being me I was equally excited by the new siting of my washing line..little things as they say.

Grammaretto.... That sounds a lovely time with your Grandchildren, it's all about making memories isn't it? I used to do that with mine.... Take them on an outing and do things they would remember. I hope they do. I hope you are not so tired now too

Kaimoana hopefully your ears will continue to get better, that's been a long haul for you. We are all so concerned about your present living situation and wish we were nearer to help get it sorted for you. Are there any charities like Age Concern in NZ that could help you? Maybe your son or Granddaughter could look things up for you.

Notspag...I am shocked at those charges... That's a ridiculous amount of money for half an hour's work. These people really do hold us to ransom I didn't know any of the differences in measures...I am not planning a trip to the US until at least after the next Presidential Elections ( enough said) but I will remember what I've learnt when I do

Doodle...I too was really sad to read that Soop had died. She was a very special lady and she welcomed me into her kitchen with open arms...as did you Lobstars, I very rarely stray into other threads!!!!

Jan the cake looks lush and how lovely the party sounded too. No wonder you are both weary and if you can't make noise when you are 90 when can you....

Ixion..I love planted pots....4 more fell into my basket last week and are now planted up. I am going to count how many I have later and will post the sinful number.

I am going to admit to an obsession now....clutch your pearls...I am obsessed with folding clothes...I never used to be I blame it all on one of those threads that appear from nowhere on FB. You would never believe what I can do with a towel. It takes me twice as long as it used to but hey ho and DH has just about got over the shock of his underpants being reduced to the size of a matchbox

I wish my mother-in-law's choice of solicitor was the sane price as the valuer Naughtyneine - unfortunately she is double that. I'm hopingthat her knowledgeof my mother-in-law's accounts/circumstancesand her husband's trust fund will be seen to pay off soon.

She appointed her 20 years or more ago (when she was probably a junior in the office) - now she is their most senior probate specialist!
😬

We are doing as much as we can ourselves... don't ever specify a named person at a solicitors if you ever decide to instruct!

Grammaretto i Hope you’re pleased with your new car. What colour is it? Hat a lovely afternoon with your granddaughter. Was music man’s interview only on Scottish Tv? He’s still interested then.
Oh NN you really made me snigger tonight with your description of o your folding techniques with underwear. Your garden sounds lovely. Hope we have some nice weather for you to sit out and enjoy it.
Kaimoana hope your ear continues to improve.
I’ve been to church this morning then my friend and I went to lunch. I had booked a table in the restaurant (somewhere we have been several times before). We were quite surprised to find waitress service had been replaced with “take your table number and join the end of the queue and order and pay for your meal at the bar”. The queue to order was about 15 people and we had to wait 45 minutes for our food to arrive. Apparently a busy Easter (several food options were not available) and unexpected number of customers due to the sunny weather plus not enough staff reduced the place to self service virtually. The food was fine when it eventually arrived but we were not impressed with their unapologetic attitude of take it or leave it. If we could have thought of somewhere else to go at short notice we would have done.

My new car which is boring grey, has taken 2 loads to the tip already including a mattress which had to be stripped down to the metal frame, and bagged up. Luckily a friend called by to look at my books and offered to help!

What a disappointment the restaurant was Doodle . At least the food was good.

Your DH birthday party sounds a success Jan . You must both be pleased.

Your garden is taking shape NN Any chance of a photo?
Your posts make me laugh 😂 .
I hadn't heard of a folding fetish before.
I guess it saves ironing.

I think I'll get a shock when the solicitor's bill comes in NotSpaghetti
I don't know what to expect. I hope the sale goes as smoothly as possible for me as well as you.

Is there an organisation such as RNIB which could help with your sight difficulties Kaimoana?.
I daresay you would already know if there was but no harm in asking.

Thank you all for your concern. There are people/organisations who will help and I have, with very limited sight, tried to contact them.
Most ask for a phone number so they can ring me - I dont have a phone - so they put it in the "too hard basket".

I could ask my son but I don't want to give him any extra burdens.

I will be spending the day at his placew soon and may tell him - i shall see how i feel.

You would think that when I have been an exemplary SA tenant for 16 year, they would assist me into a supervised unit - or at least put me on the waiting list - but so far the property manger for Auckland has been unable or perhaps unwilling to help.

I've begun to believe that the only thing which will make anyone take me seriously is if I collapse or set fire to the house...a very real issue as I havetwice no left pans onthe stove to burn dry.

Just back from the community lunch where we had a very acceptable slice of ham, 2 large cold boiled potats and a strange palm-sized omelete thingy with peas in it. I longer for butter or marg for the spuds.

The dessert was advertised as baklava, but it was actually two chunks of ordinary pastry with a lovely cream and blueberry topping.

Why did they call it baklava when it was nothing like? If they served a chop, would they call it sausage.

But at least I got out of the house and our lovely driver gave me a hug as always. A bright spot in the week.

kaimoana please ask your son for a little help. You always put him first like mums do but you do need some help now. You’ve done remarkably well on your own for so long. Could the Sallie’s not help getting you a phone of some kind?
Grammaretto bills are frightening when you don’t know what to expect aren’t they. HMRC have just informed me they want even more money back. Not to worry they say we’ll take it from you over 12 months. Nice of them. That’s the third lot they’re adding since 1st April. Good thing I’ve been putting something aside,

You are right Doodle I've decided I'll discuss it with him when he comes to take me for a birthday meal at the weekend.

The reason I don't have a phone is because I can't see it. My present device has the facility but I can't see the pop-ups in time to press the right button to unlock it then answer.

I tell the very few people who need to contact me that I prefer texts as that give me time to cut & paste and answer if I need to.
If it rings I have to ignore it.

Doodle if you are in any doubt about the amount or validity of money owing to any organisation, there is an advocate service in the UK who can test the accuracy of any claim.

Google the name of the organisation plus "advocacy".
I believe these services are free.

No harm in asking to be sure. Blind Low Vision were the first people I contacted and was told (more or less) that they couldn't help. They included a list of things they sell, at very inflated prices.

I purchased a pair of wrap around sunglasses for $2 at a local shop. They are sturdy and I've worn them every day over the past year.
Vision NZ sell them for $110