Dreading Christmas this year

I am reading the posts with interest.

This will be the 1st christmas without DH. The last 5 or so DD2 has stayed with us and her partner visited his Mother. Now DD and partner are married..not that makes a lot of difference... I am not sure what will be the plan. Dds MIL is a lovely woman but talks from the moment she opens her eyes till bedtime and not a lot of it is sensible just whatever pops into her mind. So DD appreciated the peace and quiet she had here.

As we know it is only one day and this year I dont think I will mind just being me. But maybe not.

The Samaritans are always open if you want to phone them for a bit of company. I used to volunteer and did a Christmas Day shift. It was much quieter than I expected. Feel welcome to give them a ring any time day or night.

I'd say let's make sure there is a "home alone" thread started up where we can all check in if we want so wont be totally alone whatever the circumstances. It was nice last year iirc.

I too am dreading Christmas this year without my DH who died in August. I have family l can go to , but don't know if l can take the company & chaos for more than a couple of hours without wanting to be at home in the peace & quiet -
Then I think l might just want to stay under the duvet all day, but they wouldn't let me .
It's a conundrum isn't it - even for one day.

What a bad year you’ve had.🌷🥀. I think a good idea to put up your decorations - you’ll see them and it would be more glum without them, and get your favourite food for 2-3 days because it’s not just a day it’s 2 or 3.
Try to ignore the hustle bustle of the weeks before, that may be the hardest part. Stay away from the Christmas posts on here. Cross off the days until January on your calendar. Get lots of sleep. It will be new year before you can say holly.

I am sorry to hear of your loss. The first year is hard.

My husband died on November 1, 2023 and I was invited by an acquaintance to her place for Christmas dinner. I accepted gratefully, as it seem the better option than sitting at home and probably crying.

Actually, that family's celebration was so different to anything I had been used to, that it simply did not feel like Christmas.

The following year I tried to join one of the schemes for inviting other lonely people, but got no joy out of that, so spent that Christmas alone. But I did have a visitor for the New Year.

Last year, I invited a friend, a single woman and we had a very nice time.

So my advice is, decide if you can quite soon, whether you want to try and find someone to spend Christmas Day with, or just will make a good meal for yourself, and do something you enjoy afterwards, or you could perhaps go away somewhere.

Remember that next year will probably be easier.

I check with various single friends and invite those alone for Christmas lunch. It seems to work well and means I make an effort to set the table properly, give the silver a polish and resurrect my cooking skills. If everyone was catered for I would enjoy an indolent day with expensive culinary treats and no cooking. I can’t recreate Christmases past so have had to find a new way to deal with the day.

Charleygirl5

I try to ignore the hype. I have been on my own at Christmas for a few years now. I treat it as a normal day, buying food I fancy and watching TV if there is anything on which is usually debatable.

I have never bothered with decorations, each to his own. I prefer to stay in my cosy house. I would hate sitting at a long table being surrounded with people I have never met and accepting what I would class as charity food by kind helpers.

I would be the same as you.
Christmas time can be a very lonely time but the shops are only shut for one day.
I guess you could say that if you have happy family memories of past Christmas times, especially as a child, then that’s something isn’t it?

I’m so sorry for your loss. I have no answers just love and hugs for you. Xx

Cossy

Oh that’s so sad.

Couple of things I’d say;

If you are able to travel and enjoy it and can afford it, then go away.

Or, if your health allows it, volunteer on Christmas Day, local churches and charities welcome people with open arms, to help out.

Try and hold on to those happy memories, it’s great you have them. Prepare yourself all your favourite foods, doesn’t have to be in any way Christmassy, get your favourite tipple and toast all your absent friends and family.

Good luck

Very good post.

It is just another day except when you are alone.

It must be sad knowing that the majority of people are celebrating together ( although the reality of that is often grim).

Here is a link to solo Christmas holidays, there were lots of links I could have sent the internet is full of ideas.

www.friendshiptravel.com/holiday-type/christmas-new-year/

You could always make some new memories.

Perhaps HQ could start a thread called Counter Christmas or something. It seems badly needed.