Dreading Christmas this year

Perhaps HQ could start a thread called Counter Christmas or something. It seems badly needed.

It is just another day except when you are alone.

It must be sad knowing that the majority of people are celebrating together ( although the reality of that is often grim).

Here is a link to solo Christmas holidays, there were lots of links I could have sent the internet is full of ideas.

www.friendshiptravel.com/holiday-type/christmas-new-year/

You could always make some new memories.

Cossy

Oh that’s so sad.

Couple of things I’d say;

If you are able to travel and enjoy it and can afford it, then go away.

Or, if your health allows it, volunteer on Christmas Day, local churches and charities welcome people with open arms, to help out.

Try and hold on to those happy memories, it’s great you have them. Prepare yourself all your favourite foods, doesn’t have to be in any way Christmassy, get your favourite tipple and toast all your absent friends and family.

Good luck

Very good post.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I have no answers just love and hugs for you. Xx

Charleygirl5

I try to ignore the hype. I have been on my own at Christmas for a few years now. I treat it as a normal day, buying food I fancy and watching TV if there is anything on which is usually debatable.

I have never bothered with decorations, each to his own. I prefer to stay in my cosy house. I would hate sitting at a long table being surrounded with people I have never met and accepting what I would class as charity food by kind helpers.

I would be the same as you.
Christmas time can be a very lonely time but the shops are only shut for one day.
I guess you could say that if you have happy family memories of past Christmas times, especially as a child, then that’s something isn’t it?

I check with various single friends and invite those alone for Christmas lunch. It seems to work well and means I make an effort to set the table properly, give the silver a polish and resurrect my cooking skills. If everyone was catered for I would enjoy an indolent day with expensive culinary treats and no cooking. I can’t recreate Christmases past so have had to find a new way to deal with the day.

I am sorry to hear of your loss. The first year is hard.

My husband died on November 1, 2023 and I was invited by an acquaintance to her place for Christmas dinner. I accepted gratefully, as it seem the better option than sitting at home and probably crying.

Actually, that family's celebration was so different to anything I had been used to, that it simply did not feel like Christmas.

The following year I tried to join one of the schemes for inviting other lonely people, but got no joy out of that, so spent that Christmas alone. But I did have a visitor for the New Year.

Last year, I invited a friend, a single woman and we had a very nice time.

So my advice is, decide if you can quite soon, whether you want to try and find someone to spend Christmas Day with, or just will make a good meal for yourself, and do something you enjoy afterwards, or you could perhaps go away somewhere.

Remember that next year will probably be easier.

What a bad year you’ve had.🌷🥀. I think a good idea to put up your decorations - you’ll see them and it would be more glum without them, and get your favourite food for 2-3 days because it’s not just a day it’s 2 or 3.
Try to ignore the hustle bustle of the weeks before, that may be the hardest part. Stay away from the Christmas posts on here. Cross off the days until January on your calendar. Get lots of sleep. It will be new year before you can say holly.

I too am dreading Christmas this year without my DH who died in August. I have family l can go to , but don't know if l can take the company & chaos for more than a couple of hours without wanting to be at home in the peace & quiet -
Then I think l might just want to stay under the duvet all day, but they wouldn't let me .
It's a conundrum isn't it - even for one day.

I'd say let's make sure there is a "home alone" thread started up where we can all check in if we want so wont be totally alone whatever the circumstances. It was nice last year iirc.

The Samaritans are always open if you want to phone them for a bit of company. I used to volunteer and did a Christmas Day shift. It was much quieter than I expected. Feel welcome to give them a ring any time day or night.

I am reading the posts with interest.

This will be the 1st christmas without DH. The last 5 or so DD2 has stayed with us and her partner visited his Mother. Now DD and partner are married..not that makes a lot of difference... I am not sure what will be the plan. Dds MIL is a lovely woman but talks from the moment she opens her eyes till bedtime and not a lot of it is sensible just whatever pops into her mind. So DD appreciated the peace and quiet she had here.

As we know it is only one day and this year I dont think I will mind just being me. But maybe not.

LesLee, I am sorry to hear of your bereavements. This will be a different Christmas, certainly, but I would second the good advice here- treat yourself to your favourite food and drink, book or dvd, and maybe some bath or beauty products.
However, don't write off good friends because they have families. Maybe you could ask them to visit you in the period just before, or just after, Christmas Day, for a festive coffee and cake.
And, please, consider visiting a church during this time. It might help you to revisit your past experiences of Christmas in a comfortable way.

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I just think of it as a day for the shops. They are counting their profits and doing their books. Without Christmas, they would have to shutter their business.

I am sorry for the sadness that you feel cornered in. Sometimes melencholy is a place we get too comfortable with.

Its not the holidays making you lonely, its your lack of socialisation. Why have you given up on meeting others? There are thousands of people, just outside your door. Be cheerful and some of them might join you for friendship and celebrations..

I hope you manage to enjoy it a little despite the sad losses LesLee.
Make sure you have plenty of good food and drink. There'll be films to watch.

Last year I was all ready to be alone as DD had warned me she was booked for the other DGP. DS did ask me at the very last minute but a friend and neighbour asked what I was doing - she's also on her own, has never married and has lots of friends.
I said I didn't know and she asked me to join her for lunch.
She invited 6 of us, all on our own and we had the best fun I can remember.
We all brought contributions. I took a veggie dish. We played party games and it was so relaxed one woman curled up on the floor with her little dog - both fast asleep.

I think I got home around 6.
Not sure what will happen this year as I'm moving house next month.

Treats and something nice recorded on the telly. Favourite books always help. I’m so sorry you are alone. Glad you wrote the thread though hope it’s helped a bit.

Thanks everyone. My Mum always used to say it's just another day but I never let her be on her own at Christmas. It's worse this year because of the two bereavements I've just had recently but I'll get though it. There are people worse off then me.
Best Wishes to everyone who took the time to respond and hope all goes well for you.

I'm often one my own at Christmas. I dont like busy noisy occasions with crowds of family and I make it in to a treat-me day. I'd say they were best when my DS was young and we met with cousins, but not having a lot of room, always tensions even with best intentions.
GN is open on Christmas Day and I have a backlog of Dvd's to watch. if the weather is nice the park for a stroll. WhatsApp face to face calls. On a bad yet just grit my teeth and time passes - the gym is only closed for 2 days and coming back I get a lot of "thank goodness THAT is over 😉"

I like to see it as a time of year event: the time of cold and low light, the year has turned in that respect on the 21st December. and the symbolic birth or rebirth of the changing generations, it all has meaning.

When my widowed sis-in-law was estranged from her son, she went away every Xmas and thoroughly enjoyed herself - she met lots of lovely people who were on their own for a variety of reasons.
I think there are specialist travel agents who do trips for single people . Good luck - I’m sure there are lots of people in similar positions. You are not alone…

You have to pretend it is just another day . Give yourself a treat or two to eat and drink but forget it is Christmas day . I hate Christmas because it is full of so many ghosts of happy times long gone so one year we spent the day going through our filing cabinet and shredding lots of documents.

I try to ignore the hype. I have been on my own at Christmas for a few years now. I treat it as a normal day, buying food I fancy and watching TV if there is anything on which is usually debatable.

I have never bothered with decorations, each to his own. I prefer to stay in my cosy house. I would hate sitting at a long table being surrounded with people I have never met and accepting what I would class as charity food by kind helpers.

I have been on a few "JUST YOU" holidays for people on their own. They have ones in the UK which include Christmas Day and Boxing Day.
Mostly older people . Don't be put off by pictures of younger people on their website.

All the hype makes Christmas loom larger than it actually is. It's one day. Plan an enjoyable time and it will be gone in no time.

Cossy

Oh that’s so sad.

Couple of things I’d say;

If you are able to travel and enjoy it and can afford it, then go away.

Or, if your health allows it, volunteer on Christmas Day, local churches and charities welcome people with open arms, to help out.

Try and hold on to those happy memories, it’s great you have them. Prepare yourself all your favourite foods, doesn’t have to be in any way Christmassy, get your favourite tipple and toast all your absent friends and family.

Good luck

A few years ago when I lost my Mum and Sister within 6 months I contacted the Sally Army to offer my services on Christmas Day. They didn't want to know.......
Yes I'm lucky to have happy memories, not everyone does.

CarrotTop

Oh, LesLee, I'm so sorry you're facing such loneliness, especially at Christmas. If I lived nearby, I'd invite you to ours for Christmas! It's always just us - I'm in the same boat as you (no family left, no friends nearby - I do have a DH but he's a shadow of his former self due to brain damage from a stroke) so you have my sympathy.

That's very kind of you. I just don't like to trouble anyone. Hoe you and your DH enjoy as best you can.