Elderly people getting married

They're worried about the inheritance!!

Marrying at that age would only be for some sort of financial advantage wouldnt it?

I'd be hoping for all the trimmings!!!

My uncle after my aunty died went into a care home. He met a lady there who was widowed and a year later they got married. They had a couple of happy years together before one of them died. I would have been very happy if my mother had remarried. My sisters law has just got engaged to a lovely man and she is 77. People get lonely at any age and crave companionship.

MissAdventure

I'd be hoping for all the trimmings!!!

Interestingly I posted the opinion that she has the right to make her own choices and it has received 10 "likes" so it is good to know that ageism is not the default position.

Married, in the "full sense of the word" (said in a Les Dawson-esque manner)

Maybe it's for reasons to do with tax and pension inheritance.

blog.moneysavingexpert.com/2025/01/martin-lewis--the-nine-big-financial-benefits-of-being-married/

Well, I have to be honest, and this will probably go completely against the grain, but if my own mum had decided to remarry in her 80s, after my dad's death, i too would have been horrified.

It's not that I have anything against people of any age starting new relationships, but I feel that remarrying at that age if you have a close family is extremely likely to cause upset.

It's a personal thing, but in my case would have nothing to do with any potential inheritance.

I do not think inheritance is what matters here. It is the happiness of the person involved (who has been widowed for 10 years) and her right to choose what she does with her life ... what is left of it.

I can't believe that offspring have ever been afforded such perceived control of their parents lives.

I find it shocking, and disgusting, frankly.

I agree, Luckygirl, but you can be happy as a couple without getting married so I can understand why others might question motive.

I haven't seen the discussion so I don't know any more detail, if indeed it was given.

A couple I know were married last year. Both are in their 80s. It's her 3rd marriage, his first. They appear blissfully happy. I often see them out and about together.

At that age I think getting married for companionship and friendship is a lovely idea. I personally wouldn't want to do it as I have been on my own for so long (1988).

A friend of mine who had been widowed over 30 years before remarried at 82 to a guy 10 years younger, who had never been married before. Seven years on he still looks shell shocked.

If my mother-in-law had remarried at 80 she would still have had a twenty year plus marriage!

Who knows how long this one may last.

Ladyleftfieldlover

A friend of mine who had been widowed over 30 years before remarried at 82 to a guy 10 years younger, who had never been married before. Seven years on he still looks shell shocked.

Oh heck 😂

The thing to watch out for older parents getting remarried is who they are marrying!
I read something years ago about
Younger people, marrying old people for their money.
One example was an elderly gentleman with the beginnings of dementia who had a much younger cleaner- next thing she had him at the registry office without the family’s knowledge.
They were saying the law should be changed and the registrar should be made aware of anything suspicious.
Another one was a young bloke who married an elderly lady. He had all the locks changed so family members couldn’t get in the mothers house .

I couldn’t ever imagine my mum remarrying. She lost my dad eighteen months ago. Been together since they were sixteen.
Married 60 years.
She said she would never replace my dad.
But you just never know what could happen if they develop dementia.
Anyway no ones getting their foot over her doorstep, or under her table. Least not whilst I am around 😂

I'm sure someone posted on here, once, about her dad taking up with a younger woman employed as his cleaner.
I'm sure its sickening if there is an inheritance involved, but people in their right mind can make theor own choices, and rightly so.

Excluding dementia, though, is someone who is desperately lonely "in their right mind"?
Any number of things come to mind; a lot of people just can't stand to be on their own, and I suppose may make rash decisions.

My late MIL had a man friend for years and although my husband and I knew and she discussed him with my daughter who she called her best pal,my sister in law wasn,t told because she would have gone bananas .To make matters worse he was married but according to him they had been living like sister and brother for years.
He did get a bit vocal when he learned that MIL,s house was in fact my OH,s and that he had power of attorney over all her affairs .Tried to talk her into changing her will in case we ran off with her money?
I must admit my husband was pleased he was married as MILtold us regularly if he had been free she,d have happily marched up the aisle with him.
We thought he was a bit odd /creepy even but she enjoyed his company and it was her choice.

I have run my life in the way that was right for me. Had a wonderful second husband who I loved dearly until his death. I did not ask permission or inform my son in a way that meant I expected him to have any say apart from welcoming my husband into our family. As a widow now, I will do exactly as I choose, and have no intention of informing any one of any plans or intentions I may have, other than the normal introductions I would make when two people who had not met before meet for the first time.

If I ask for advice or opinions then that is a different matter , but my life , my choice. I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions, whether it is to travel more and alone or to have someone special in my life. From early in life we have to learn to look at choices , make decisions and live by what we have decided. We may learn some hard lessons on the way, but I know that whilst there are some decisions that may not have turned out to be exactly as I hoped, I always think that I would much prefer to regret the odd mistake I have made, and be happy that over my long life so many things have led to a fuller , more interesting life, whether that was leaving a well paid but boring job, to make the most of life and travel and work and live abroad, rather than spend 40 years working at something I did not enjoy just to have a good pension.

The same goes with relationships. I am the only person that knows what or who I like and who suits me. Having lived so long I have become an expert on making good choices for me, I may be older, but I have not turned into a child, and nor do I think my son has the right to try to change the way I live.( not that he would) I do not live with him, he lives his life and I am pleased to be part of the family etc. But I dont critisize or comment on their decisions about my grandsons schooling, their choice of holidays, work changes or any of the decisions that rightfully belong to them. I can express an opinion about something if asked , or keep my personal views to myself. I expect the same courtesy from them. Woe betide anyone family or otherwise , who think they have the right or are entitled to tell me how to live my life.

Sadly over recent years, I think that there has been less respect from younger people to older people, and it seems to become "what shall we do with grandad?" which involves the grandad doing what suits the children best, rather than a caring family looking to see how they can help the grandad to live for as long as possible in the way he chooses. As we have all managed to live to older ages and miracle miracle, managed to survive, learn, work, make decisions and stick to them, I am sure that there are people wondering how on earth we managed to exist with no wifi or immediate chances to spend ludicrous amounts of time tell other people what we ate for breakfast etc. Well we have already done well to still be living life and find some pleasure in a world that is full of sad and troublesome situations, If we love to see our gardens , or sit watching tv all day, it is up to us. Do you remember the song by the Beverly Sisters that went "Lord help the mister, who comes between me and my sister -- But LORD HELP THE SISTER who comes between me and my man!! Well change the pronouns where necessary but the message remains the same to this day

I have heard of this play out in a family I know. The grandmother of the family decided to get married at 82. Her daughter was horrible to her about it and completely opposed. I thought that was awful. Nothing wrong with wanting a companion at that age. I'm all for being supportive of it, if it makes them happy.

paddyann54

My late MIL had a man friend for years and although my husband and I knew and she discussed him with my daughter who she called her best pal,my sister in law wasn,t told because she would have gone bananas .To make matters worse he was married but according to him they had been living like sister and brother for years.
He did get a bit vocal when he learned that MIL,s house was in fact my OH,s and that he had power of attorney over all her affairs .Tried to talk her into changing her will in case we ran off with her money?
I must admit my husband was pleased he was married as MILtold us regularly if he had been free she,d have happily marched up the aisle with him.
We thought he was a bit odd /creepy even but she enjoyed his company and it was her choice.

😩 phew you had a narrow escape.