feeling very lonely how does anyone else cope

I live on a hill too and rurally so have not been able to opt for a mobility scooter, but I do have an excellent lightweight rollator which is brilliant, as I can walk for a bit then sit down for a rest.

I am on my own (and really not terribly well sadly) but I try to set targets for each day and create some sort of routine that is within my grasp. For instance I eat some breakfast then sit in a chair and do a relaxation exercise (free online from Insight Timer). I then plan those things that I can manage which always includes being outside for some of the time.

Might be worth going onto Facebook and looking at local groups registered there that you could get involved with.

It is easy to get stuck in a bit of a rut and find yourself going over and over in your mind the bad things that have happened.

Some suggestions…..

Do you knit or crochet? There are lots of local groups which meet in cafes, pubs, church halls

Is there a local WI group? ( you can attend as a visitor to see whether the group suits you)

One of my friends moved to a new area and put a message on the local FB group asking if anyone would like to meet for a coffee and chat in the local cafe? She had lots of replies and now meets up fortnightly with the group. As a bonus two of the ladies have become her good friends.

How about exercise classes? Maybe chair based yoga or Pilates?

Could you volunteer in a local charity shop?

Good to get a few bits and pieces in place before the dark nights come.

Sorry to hear that you are a bit away from the centre of things. A mile is far when you aren't very mobile.
Some excellent ideas on here but depending on your circumstances could you apply for sheltered housing?

I would hate to be cut off from everyone. I know some people enjoy their own company but I don't particularly.

Good suggestion from rocketstop
Also the church and the library if you have one. They'd be my first port of call.

I don’t know any details but I did once look into reading stories to children over the internet That would be lovely you could do it from your settee and how a child would love being read to

How are you doing Poppysmum? 💐💐💐

Whereabouts are you Poppysmum?

I am in Herefordshire a little town called Bromyard I have never been into the town but it is quite nice. the sun today has cheered me up have not done a lot I expect when I get my evening meal I shall put the dishwasher on while waiting for it cook.
Maybe put the stuff in the drier bit to put away but mostly undies and pillow slips!

Didn’t want to read and pass by.
I’m sorry you’re feeling so down but think of Moo what would he/she do without her mum? Am miles away from you otherwise I’d love to pop in for a cuppa.

There are some good suggestions here. Maybe try one each day or two. Take care x

I live right down the other end of Herefordshire, virtually in Wales, and know that there are masses of opportunities to socialise in the area.

"Bromyard offers a fantastic range of social clubs, active classes, and community meetups specifically tailored for older adults. Whether you are looking for gentle exercise, creative crafts, or just a friendly face for a coffee and a chat, the town has several active hubs that keep local seniors independent and socially connected.

Social Clubs & Coffee Mornings
The HOPE Centre (Over 60s Clubs): Located on Hereford Road, the HOPE Centre runs an active Afternoon Club for the over 60s every Monday, offering a great space to socialise, play cards, and enjoy the community café. They also host a popular Over 60s Lunch Club on Wednesdays and a monthly Afternoon Tea.

Places of Welcome at Bromyard Methodist Church: Operating as a designated Talk Community Hub, the Methodist Church on New Road hosts a completely free drop-in session every Wednesday (10am–2pm from November to March; 10am–12pm from April to September). It offers free tea, coffee, biscuits, jigsaws, Scrabble, and friendly conversation.

*Bromyard Afternoon Club*: A warm, welcoming social group specifically for ladies that meets on the second Tuesday of each month. Meetings usually feature guest speakers, special afternoons, and summer outings.

*Age UK Coffee Morning: Hosted at Buttsfield House (next to the fire station) every Wednesday from 10am to 12pm. For a nominal fee of around £1.50, attendees can enjoy tea, coffee, biscuits, and a casual game of prize bingo.

Creative & Hands-On Activities

Sheds Together (Age UK Wyvern): Operating out of the HOPE Centre every Tuesday and Thursday (9:30am–4:30pm), this program provides a friendly, communal workshop space for men and women aged 50 and over. For £5 per session, it is a brilliant environment to chat, work on practical projects, and create crafts. For more information, call 0333 0066 299.

*Age UK Cookery Club Hub*: Held at the Bromyard Methodist Church on Mondays from 10am to 2:30pm. Part of the Sheds Together project, it allows individuals over 50 to meet up, learn new skills, and cook and eat together in a relaxed environment.

Fitness, Health & Gentle Movement The Halo Bromyard Centre Located on Cruxwell Street, the Halo Bromyard Centre houses both fitness facilities and the local public library under one roof. For seniors looking to stay physically active, they offer a GP Exercise Referral Scheme alongside lower-impact group exercise classes and racket sports.

Bromyard Public Hall Events Venue on Rowberry Street, this accessible, flat-entrance community hub regularly hosts light keep-fit classes and local country markets.

Talk Community Hubs are big in Herefordshire. Here's the link for Bromyard: www.talkcommunity.co.uk/keeping-well-staying-healthy/keeping-yourself-well/talk-community-hubs/where-is-my-nearest-talk-community-hub/talk-community-hubs-bromyard/

Your best bet is to contact the Bromyard branch of Age UK: General Enquiries & Support: You can contact Age UK Wyvern by phone at 0333 006 6299 or via email at [email protected]
They will be able to tell, you the range of activities and importantly about local transport options for people in your situation. There is a local community transport service: Bromyard Community Transport
1 Rowberry Street
Bromyard
Herefordshire
HR7 4DU
01885 488452
[email protected]

There are things that will plug you in to the local community - I hope some of this will inspire you to get ringing around!

Luckygirl3

I live right down the other end of Herefordshire, virtually in Wales, and know that there are masses of opportunities to socialise in the area.

"Bromyard offers a fantastic range of social clubs, active classes, and community meetups specifically tailored for older adults. Whether you are looking for gentle exercise, creative crafts, or just a friendly face for a coffee and a chat, the town has several active hubs that keep local seniors independent and socially connected.

Social Clubs & Coffee Mornings
The HOPE Centre (Over 60s Clubs): Located on Hereford Road, the HOPE Centre runs an active Afternoon Club for the over 60s every Monday, offering a great space to socialise, play cards, and enjoy the community café. They also host a popular Over 60s Lunch Club on Wednesdays and a monthly Afternoon Tea.

Places of Welcome at Bromyard Methodist Church: Operating as a designated Talk Community Hub, the Methodist Church on New Road hosts a completely free drop-in session every Wednesday (10am–2pm from November to March; 10am–12pm from April to September). It offers free tea, coffee, biscuits, jigsaws, Scrabble, and friendly conversation.

*Bromyard Afternoon Club*: A warm, welcoming social group specifically for ladies that meets on the second Tuesday of each month. Meetings usually feature guest speakers, special afternoons, and summer outings.

*Age UK Coffee Morning: Hosted at Buttsfield House (next to the fire station) every Wednesday from 10am to 12pm. For a nominal fee of around £1.50, attendees can enjoy tea, coffee, biscuits, and a casual game of prize bingo.

Creative & Hands-On Activities

Sheds Together (Age UK Wyvern): Operating out of the HOPE Centre every Tuesday and Thursday (9:30am–4:30pm), this program provides a friendly, communal workshop space for men and women aged 50 and over. For £5 per session, it is a brilliant environment to chat, work on practical projects, and create crafts. For more information, call 0333 0066 299.

*Age UK Cookery Club Hub*: Held at the Bromyard Methodist Church on Mondays from 10am to 2:30pm. Part of the Sheds Together project, it allows individuals over 50 to meet up, learn new skills, and cook and eat together in a relaxed environment.

Fitness, Health & Gentle Movement The Halo Bromyard Centre Located on Cruxwell Street, the Halo Bromyard Centre houses both fitness facilities and the local public library under one roof. For seniors looking to stay physically active, they offer a GP Exercise Referral Scheme alongside lower-impact group exercise classes and racket sports.

Bromyard Public Hall Events Venue on Rowberry Street, this accessible, flat-entrance community hub regularly hosts light keep-fit classes and local country markets.

Talk Community Hubs are big in Herefordshire. Here's the link for Bromyard: www.talkcommunity.co.uk/keeping-well-staying-healthy/keeping-yourself-well/talk-community-hubs/where-is-my-nearest-talk-community-hub/talk-community-hubs-bromyard/

Your best bet is to contact the Bromyard branch of Age UK: General Enquiries & Support: You can contact Age UK Wyvern by phone at 0333 006 6299 or via email at [email protected]
They will be able to tell, you the range of activities and importantly about local transport options for people in your situation. There is a local community transport service: Bromyard Community Transport
1 Rowberry Street
Bromyard
Herefordshire
HR7 4DU
01885 488452
[email protected]

There are things that will plug you in to the local community - I hope some of this will inspire you to get ringing around!

Great ideas here Luckygirl3.
Glad that you got outside today Poppysmum 💐

luckygirl thank you for all the suggestions. i shall see my support worker see if she can help. community transport and taxis take a lot of money but she may be able to help. it does look like my operations will be going ahead so not sure if i will get more mobile. at the moment more or less housebound. anyway i did see today that the church may do home communion.

What a lot of choice Luckygirl3

Maybe pick a few things you like, poppysmum, and ask if you could share community transport with anyone nearby!

Good luck.

Shelflife

Poppysmum, lots of support here . I am sorry you are feeling so low and lonely . You have a strong faith so perhaps making contact with your nearest place of worship would be a sound first move?
When those dark thoughts take hold I hope you find courage and strength to resist them . My friend has recently taken her life and I am devastated. Please re connect with age concern and get yourself on that befrienders waiting list and try to attend church /Chapel if you possibly can . I am not religious but feel sure you would benefit from the friendship there. Sending you ((( hugs )))
and strength🌹🌻.

I’m so sorry about your friend

poppysmum

luckygirl thank you for all the suggestions. i shall see my support worker see if she can help. community transport and taxis take a lot of money but she may be able to help. it does look like my operations will be going ahead so not sure if i will get more mobile. at the moment more or less housebound. anyway i did see today that the church may do home communion.

In the meantime remember there’s lots of us here thinking of you and please keep us all updated. Good luck with your operation.

Stock up with books etc as you may well need to recuperate afterwards.

I would urge you to try a couple of things. I have moved many times both here and abroad and definitely my first go to place is the library. They have all the up to date information about all sorts of clubs and societies, so that whatever is your interest, whether it is gardening or playing bridge or singing, you will get all the low down there and can then just go for a tentative look to see if it is a group you would like to join.

Then regarding the mobility scooter idea. I do really urge you to begin to look about and see what is available and what might suit you. You can often borrow or hire these at shopping centres, which would be a good place to start. They show you how to work the machines before you are let loose , and so you will be feeling secure in how to use them and find what a great difference they can make. So if you try those, and perhaps you might get the chance to visit an RHS garden or a NT property where you can try one out. Then you will find out what suits you. Also as part of your research you might speak to someone using one locally to you and find out their opinions on the different kinds. I bought the yellow peril umpteenth hand and originally it was the idea to be able to use it when the roads were closed to cars when the market was on etc., but now I pretty much use it everywhere locally, have a charging point just on the wall outside my flat, so keep it charged up and ready to go whenever I want it. It definitely saves money on fuel, helps me to get out and about, and you can get to know other buggy users as you go. Also if you meet another person on a buggy, you can always ask which cafe is best with the buggy etc. These days I also find that my buggy brings me people, as they will say I saw your buggy outside Cafe Nero so knew you would be there, so please do think again about trying one or two out to find which is the right one for you and I am sure you will be surprised at how much freedom it gives you and allows you to go to places as and when you want and not totally rely on anyone else. Best of luck with it. What area do you live in? I am in north yorkshire and if you are anywhere nearby would be happy to meet up for a coffee at some point. Wishing you all the best

Regarding mobility scooters. No need every to have been a driver to use one of these, particularly the 4 mph pavement models. So, very simple, Just pull lever towards you to make it go forward, or push back to go into reverse. As soon as you let go, machine comes to a halt.

With one of these, you would easily be able to go the mile into town and be able to join in groups. Look into your local u3a, and look at library groups.

My mobility scooter is my life-line and means I can get out and about with ease, as I am unable to walk very far even with a stick or a rollator. I also have an electric wheelchair which I use to go on any sort of public transport (buses, trains, London underground). Not as safe as the scooter, but means I can go to visit my children (only one of them loves anywhere close to me).

I really believe that it is very important, not just to socialise, but to feel both independent and useful. With the use of mobility scooter, the OP could look into helping out with local charities.

In these days of so very many mobility aids, no need to be housebound anywhere

Poppysmum it sounds to that if your mobility could be improved you could get out more which is much better than being 'sofa bound'. Can the GP refer you for some physio?