feeling very lonely how does anyone else cope

It's not easy for sure. Weekends are strange things , along with bank holidays.

Mmmm where to start? Are you able to get out with your little dog? Is there a local shop or Church?

You don’t have to be religious but you could try your local church. Often they organise community coffee mornings and transport to get there.

Would you be able to manage a mobility scooter? This would enable you to travel to the town where presumably there are coffee shops or opportunities to meet others.

poppysmum

as people may remember i have left an abusive relationship. i am very settled in my bungalow getting it how i want but it is a mile from town. i am mainly housebound and do have mental health problems, the transport is community transport or taxis which can be quite expensive, there is not much to go to anyway at the moment i am in a lot of pain with my hip so am sofa bound.
anyway i have contacted Age UK i am on list for the telephone buddy but there is a long waiting list. i am feeling a bit down today i had a support worker who has been helping me she said email anytime but this week did not answer and did not turn up today she said she was busy i have had some outstanding problems this week i was looking forward to her helping me sort, i can not even contact my police officer in charge of the case
sorry i am waffling but i was here asking what the heck i can do to make friends i know people say do not come to you i understand that but my family have shut me out and i have no friends so it would be nice to have someone email or text or ring or even better come for a cuppa and chat, just to say i am alive, there is weekends coming up. i do get really down at the weekends and do get terrible thoughts often at times its only the dog that stops me
sorry for the waffle

Oh poppysmum, I do feel for you. After my divorce I phoned the Samaritans one Saturday night and said I didn’t want to take up their time but just needed to hear someone’s voice so I understand how you feel. I must admit that these days I’m quite happy chatting on the internet to people about tv, films etc and I’m on a couple of sports forums. I do regard my internet chums as proper friends. If you want to talk about your dog pm me; I can chat about dogs all day ( or night). x

I've been trying to think poppysmum....and you may have done them already. Could you contact your GP? I have heard they can do some social prescribing or befriending contacts. Age UK could help with a befriending service. You might have to pay but I think they can arrange for a befriended to come round to have a cuppa and a chat. Also social group with transport. If there is a local library, they can be helpful in signposting you. Do you have neighbours you could ask about anything going on which you might like. Don't give up...there will be something for you to look forward to doing.

sadly neighbours do not seem to want to be friends. i did ring the GP all they came up with was the local crisis in case my suicidal thoughts continued. i do have contact with the police and woman's aid to do with the ongoing case i think i am feeling very upset as the support worker was really good but this week despite having serious problems she seems to have turned her back on me.
local Age UK has the phone befriender service but it does have about a 6 month waiting list.
i do think about church i am very religious enjoy services i have never asked at the local church if there is anyone around or i was thinking sometimes the Vicar does call to see people at home.
there does not seem to be anyone who does the library at home service here which would be nice
i would love someone to come and have a cuppa and a chat i am very happy on my laptop always be happy to do emails i do struggle to walk up the road my dog a rescue is happy pottering round here but is not really a fan of leads. with my stick i really still cannot get far
i have just had a bad week i have problems i was looking forward to getting advice about but have been let down

no shops round here a lot of people are saying about mobility scooters but i have never driven and they terrify me lots of downhills here!

Its very annoying and unprofessional for the support worker to not keep her word.

It's very tricky this " meeting people " thing.....what sort of area is it? A village?
How do you know the neighbours aren't friendly?

I wonder how you would feel about asking age uk if YOU could train to be a phone buddy.That way you would get to befriend others in the same boat as you ?

Hopefully your support worker will be back next week. The phone buddy idea from Rocketstop is a possibility too..

Poppysmum, Have you thought about contacting Citizens advice ? I did a quick google and it seems they could point you in the right direction.I will try to paste and copy what google said :

Citizens Advice is not a dedicated loneliness helpline or mental health service, but they can help connect you with local support and tackle underlying issues that cause isolation.How Citizens Advice HelpsSignposting: Advisers can direct you to local community groups, clubs, and specialized charities in your area.Practical Support: They help resolve root causes of stress and isolation, such as debt, housing problems, or unemployment.A Listening Ear: Staff and volunteers offer a non-judgmental, empathetic space when you reach out online or in person

Sorry just realised you said there's a 6 month waiting list. I hope you put your name down.

Is your dog Poppy?
I had a little rescue dog.
They're great company aren't they?
I hope you make some friends soon.

Hi Poppysmum

I too adore dgs, and I’m also more than happy to pass the time with you via email or private messaging on here.

Please believe me, things will get better in time.

In the meantime, please google and see if there’s anything you might fancy doing from home, like a free study course or perhaps joining an online forum.

I wish you the very best

PS our mad old Cocker Spaniel is called Poppy

Hi Poppysmum,
It is good that you have reached out for support and I hope that the above suggestions help.
I follow a number of groups on Facebook and some of the local Facebook groups have social gatherings nearby.
Also, my local library sometimes hosts knit and natter meetings etc
Sending best wishes 💐

Hi, I'm sorry you are feeling down. I think a mobility scooter sounds great (fresh air and a change of scenery would be so beneficial for you) but don't know where you can get hold of one. Maybe a stockist can deliver and show you how to get going. I see several people with them in my neighbourhood and their dogs run/walk alongside. In my part of the world ( Canada) public transit by bus is very good and people can drive their mobility scooter on to the bus because the driver operates a ramp. I don't if UK buses have this service but another GN might know.
How about asking your vicar to put you in touch with someone who can drive you to'n'fro Church? Perhaps he knows someone who can do that and drop in for a cuppa too.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you

I think contacting your local vicar/priest is a good idea too.

Sorry you are feeling so alone.

It would be good to visit your local library as they have a great deal of information about local activities and support groups, and could arrange home delivery for borrowing books.
Could you take a taxi for an initial visit if transport is difficult,?
As you seem good on the internet I am sure you will be able to research mobility scooters, etc from home.
Your local surgery should also have information about help services available.

Poppysmum, lots of support here . I am sorry you are feeling so low and lonely . You have a strong faith so perhaps making contact with your nearest place of worship would be a sound first move?
When those dark thoughts take hold I hope you find courage and strength to resist them . My friend has recently taken her life and I am devastated. Please re connect with age concern and get yourself on that befrienders waiting list and try to attend church /Chapel if you possibly can . I am not religious but feel sure you would benefit from the friendship there. Sending you ((( hugs )))
and strength🌹🌻.

poppy was my last dog but one the dog i have now is a very nice rescue who has problems but is lovely. he is called Moo. the gentleman who lives next door is always friendly but is hardly here. the man at the end is okay he will chat when he sees you but rests a lot as he is end of life. the one in the corner works and will not engage with anyone. the lady next door i thought was a friend but she has shunned me now i know now she has drink and drug problems i thought we would be good friends but its best let her be i have asked her over for coffee etc but she does not want to know. there is a lady at the end who is a recluse again will not engage.
one minute i am ok then i get really down could not sleep again and was crying a lot. i am disappointed as the support worker was so nice i keep thinking did i do something wrong
hit rock bottom last night cried and cried really felt if not for my dog Moo i would give up. did a food shop but did not eat anything despite obviously being able to order what i wanted being vegan it was lovely to see how much i would get which was the right things
i will try to have something to eat today make my yogurt put hoover on charge i just am fine one minute and the next i am down and fighting bad thoughts
though i should keep door shut i guess in the day i let moo have the door open he sits on the doorstep watching the world go by he does not stray off so i like to make him happy
oh i have upped my tablets as dr said

Rocketstop2

I wonder how you would feel about asking age uk if YOU could train to be a phone buddy.That way you would get to befriend others in the same boat as you ?

Good idea 👏👏👏

Poppysmum, I really feel for you and there’s been some great advice on here . As you have a dog , could you find a local dog walker who would walk your dog and have a chat with you at pickup and drop off . Could you speak to your local vicar or priest ? They may have contacts for people living alone . Another idea is a local Facebook group or Nextdoor both might offer coffee mornings or catch ups and you could get a taxi .
Sending 💐

Silver line 0800 4 70 80 90 is a free and confidential helpline for people who are lonely, started by Esther Rantzen.
‘Conversation, a listening ear, weekly calls and links to local services’.
I’d give them a call today.