Making all the effort.

Let them go, not true friends, just acquaintances

I’m in exactly the same situation with few friends. So in the last 2 months I’ve decided I’ll give the same energy back that I receive and guess what I’ve received no energy, so I’ll see how long it takes them but after 25 years of friendship I’m giving up doing all the contacting.

I am feeling slightly guilty here.

I think the difference is, in my group of friends at least, 2 of us are married and four are single.
The single people acknowledge, at least I hope they do, that us two married ones have other numerous commitments.

I am married and work...I still find time to contact people.

The issue was about making all the effort.

.....and make all the effort with some people.
Being married does not necessarily mean a person has m8re commitments!
Single people can have many commitments too!

I dont personally play word games.

It's not a word game. I am pointing out that not all single people have fewer commitments than married ones.
Expect to be called out when you generalise.

I have 3 friends from school and I mainly initiate meet ups , they all have grandchildren and are involved with childcare . Whereas I don’t . When we meet up , we all have a great time and say we should meet more often .
I also have 2 friends from collage and it’s joint thing with phone calls and texts .
But I do think as someone upthread mentioned , that some people are planners and organisers and others are followers.

Oh, I know that feeling! Years ago we were very friendly with a couple of work colleagues and would regularly meet up for lunch or an evening out………I soon worked out that it was ALWAYS me doing the planning, arranging, and sometimes even cooking…….I don’t bother since I had a serious fall and didn’t hear from them! Fair weather friends I call them!

I am known to be a planner... (and teased about it).
I don't think "get-togethers" or "meet ups" involve much planning...

Some people are natural leaders and do-ers, some just blithely follow on and never take the initiative.If you are a leader and do-er OP, your friends have got used to you being the dynamic one.

I'm a planner but it's based around things I enjoy doing and the circle of friends that I have made over the years who enjoy what I enjoy. Most of my friends have busy lives, as I do, so I'm happy to fit around them and for them to fit around me. eg I've got a group of horsey friends and we share a whatsapp group, I'll post "anyone fancy coming to X with me" and usually someone will be free and interested, same with my arty group, or theatre group etc. I don't have a best friend but I do have friends who are kind and supportive eg visited me when I was in hospital and when I was home recuperating. I have friends who will just contact me to say they haven't heard from me for ages, am I OK and I do the same with them. TBh I don't care who makes the first or the most move to arrange something but I do care about how I value and enjoy a friendship and recognise I'm not always as important to someone as they might be to me.