I'm hosting a lunch this afternoon for friends, and one has pulled out this morning. I'm finding that this happens (not always the same friend) more and more often with various arrangements, and it drives me mad.
It feels as though (some) people wait until the day to decide if they will honour invitations they've accepted, and are happy to drop out if they get a better offer or don't feel like it. I have shopped and prepared lunch for four, and will now have more leftovers than I can use, so have wasted time and money. I chose the menu to accommodate the tastes of all guests, and would have done something different had I known the 'missing' one wasn't coming. Also, we are meeting to arrange something, so will have to run any decisions past her before they are finalised, so it's all a bit pointless really.
It's not just today though - I find that it's increasingly difficult to rely on people to turn up, whether it's social meetings, hobbies or organisations. Often those who let others down rarely host anything themselves, so maybe they don't realise what is involved? Or is it just selfishness/disrespect? Often people cite 'anxiety' as a reason for leaving others in cafes not knowing how long to wait for them, or in a recent case in a group I'm in, leaving one woman alone in a clifftop carpark as the three others who were supposed to be joining her for a dog walk left her in the lurch. I do understand that anxiety is difficult, but why agree to do something if you know you are likely to drop out? Expecting others to take that risk so that you keep your options open is very bad manners, IMO.
Similarly, emergencies aside, if you have agreed to do something and another invitation comes along why can't people just say they can't make it as they have another commitment? I wonder how many people cancel holidays or other things they've paid for if they don't fancy it, or if they just drop out of things other people have made happen?
I'm getting it off my chest, really - I know there's no answer - but do others find this behaviour objectionable? I've stopped inviting some serial offenders altogether, particularly if they never host. I've read 'Let Them', and it helped me not to feel bad about it.
Juicylucy.
