Would you allow a neighbour to use your shower?

I would let a neighbour use my shower. However, I would wonder why they couldn't just have a strip wash at the bathroom basin, as I would do in the same situation. I would find it inconvenient going to a neighbour's to use their shower.

I'm a bit anti-social by nature, but like being reasonably friendly with my neighbours. Life can be a bit miserable otherwise. So, yes, I would happily let them use my shower temporarily. As they would me, I think.

I dont like people I dont know well in my personal space. I keep the likes of neighbours at arms length and I certainly dont wish to get chummy with them. Been there, done it, got the T-shirt and regretted it. None of them have my phone number to call or text.

Im always amazed at how people on Mumsnet sem to easily give out their phone number to neighbours and then have to deal with akward requests. There are various ethnic groups on the estate and so people in need of temporary washing and toilet facilities would probably prefer to ask someone from their own community.

I had a bad start with my NDN (only have one direct neighbour). In order to clean her gutters she sent workpeople onto the property without asking my permission or even warning me. When I told her that I would not refuse future access but that she had to ask permission in advance she told me I was "only a tenant" and she did not need to.

Well that set the tone for our future relationship. I took great offence to someone not born in this country talking down to me. I would see her burn in hell rather than cross my threshold.

That's a bit sad really. I'm sorry you've had such unfortunate experiences, biglouis

Goodness biglouis, I would not want to be your neighbour. I hope you never need a helping hand from anyone in the future.

I can understand someone not liking people in their personal space. TBH neither do I, but the minor irritation of that to me is nothing like as big a deal as not being able to shower for a fortnight would be for a neighbour.

I can also understand being annoyed by having tenancy status referenced in a dispute, as it's irrelevant to the situation. It wouldn't even register with me that someone may not have been born in the UK though. What difference does that make? I wouldn't seek out a white anglo saxon protestant if I were in need of ablution facilities either .

Well I once did a favour for a neighbour (filled in her DLA form) and I ended up becoming her unpaid PA providing all sorts of "services".. Now I find it wiser to keep them at arms length. I have other people I can call on in an emergency.

I would readily agree to my immediate neighbours either side, but like others, I would not ask for myself, as a wash is fine.
As the original enquirer knew her neighbour, I think she is being precious to refuse, but obviously she is now feeling awkward about it.

I have a downstairs loo with shower, but it would be less intrusive for a neighbour to go straight upstairs to the bathroom, with shower over bath, rather than through my living area to the downstairs one in the rear extension.

I would allow a neighbour to have a shower but I would not dream of asking if the position were reversed. I would have a strip wash at the sink as I did when the bath was removed and a shower fitted many years ago.

I do not think anybody here would ask, like me they would do the best they could in their own homes.

@Doodledog

I wouldn't seek out a white anglo saxon protestant if I were in need of ablution facilities either

People have different standards of hygiene. This neighbour has repeatedly blocked the drains by disposing of cooking oil down the sink and then sending plumbers around to my house. Even after the LL paid for an expensive camera survey to make sure there was nothing wrong with my drains. The water company have had to jet out her drains almost every year. So I would not trust her to put only "appropriate" things down the loo.

Not the neighbours I have. Definitely not.

Luckily we have a downstairs shower room so yes, if it was one of our nice neighbours.

Nano14

I would let a neighbour use my shower. However, I would wonder why they couldn't just have a strip wash at the bathroom basin, as I would do in the same situation. I would find it inconvenient going to a neighbour's to use their shower.

Same here.

Yes, of course. We are lucky to have lovely neighbours around us, not in and out of each others houses but always time for a quick chat in the front garden.
I would just go to the swimming pool more often if it happened to me though!

Here, in Málaga we did just that for a week during summer a couple of years back when our neighbours along the landing were having their bathroom refurbished. In fact, such a lovely Spanish couple, we gave his wife a spare key so they wouldn’t feel embarrassed - and we used to knock on and say “we’re off for the day, not back before 4pm, so come over whenever it suits you best”.

Without a doubt I would.
It’s only a shower, not asking a lot.

We only have the one and it would mean having to keep the bathroom clean and sparkly. Not my favourite job.
As a child we only had a sink with a cold tap in the scullery (yes the toilet was in the garden) but managed to keep clean, boiling a kettle of water and washing at the sink. A weekly bath in a tin tub on the floor was about as far as a bath went.
With hot and cold running water on tap, a daily wash at the sink shouldn’t be too onerous. I don’t think I would ask a neighbour that favour but after all I have said, I would probably agree if asked. No use telling them about the good old days ….

Thinking about it more, I think it was actually rude of the 'friend'/ neighbour to ask outright in the first place. That kind of direct approach should be limited to very good friends or family.

She has put the person she asked in a position where she will feel uncomfortable now whichever response she gives.

At most, she should have waited to see if her neighbour offered the use of her shower after she had been told of the problem IMO.

Plus the woman in question might be one of those who has 40 minute showers - going by a recent thread on Mumsnet, there an awful lot of people for whom that (with water running continuously) is extremely common.
As a five mins max shower person myself, I couldn't bear it if the person using my shower turned out to do that - I would quickly have to find a way to make the water run cold on them 😈

Llamedos13

Goodness biglouis, I would not want to be your neighbour. I hope you never need a helping hand from anyone in the future.

I'd have been distinctly put out in Big Louis' position - and the neighbour concerned would possibly (make that probably) have been given a verbal lesson on what manners she obviously hadn't bothered to learn......

NO! I have the neighbours from hell.

Llamedos13

Goodness biglouis, I would not want to be your neighbour. I hope you never need a helping hand from anyone in the future

Perhaps try reading a little more carefully as to how disrespectfully these people acted towards me on our first encounter!

It's a no from me.

I wouldn't ask to use anyone else's shower and I wouldn't want them to use mine

FriedGreenTomatoes2

Here, in Málaga we did just that for a week during summer a couple of years back when our neighbours along the landing were having their bathroom refurbished. In fact, such a lovely Spanish couple, we gave his wife a spare key so they wouldn’t feel embarrassed - and we used to knock on and say “we’re off for the day, not back before 4pm, so come over whenever it suits you best”.

Ah thanks, got it now! Been wondering for a while.

Yes, as long as they left the bathroom clean.

I often get a knock at the door, and it's my next door neighbour needing a poo.

Her son refuses to get out of the bath once he's in there.

MissAdventure

Yes, as long as they left the bathroom clean.

I often get a knock at the door, and it's my next door neighbour needing a poo.

Her son refuses to get out of the bath once he's in there.

Now there I have to say I'd refuse - ie someone needing to use my bathroom because they weren't bringing their son up to be considerate. I'd expect them to remove the lock from their bathroom door until he started to behave himself (there are temporary lock things they could buy one of for themselves - in order to lock the son out when they were using the bathroom).