Towards More Picturesque Speech

If we met one of those doom laden women who always thought the world was going to hell in a handcart my Mother would always say “she loves lumpy custard.” I’ve absolutely no idea why.

If she thought we were lying, my mother used to say "Tell another while your mouth's warm" and if she thought we were being pert she would say "You're so sharp, you'll cut the cost of living".

My Mum used to say someone was "as clever as Dick's hat band"

No idea who Dick was!

My Mum used to say, if I got a bit mouthy, "You're as sharp as vinegar on a fork". I never really understood that.

If I pulled a face at mum she would say 'watch out the wind doesn't change'or ' you look like a cat's bum turned inside out!!!🫣

If people were irritating her, my grandmother used to say "They're winding me up to the top pitch".

If I came home from school looking untidy my mum used to say I looked like I had been pulled through a hedge backwards.

“She/he “looks as though they’ve been sucking on lemons and chewing broken glass “ 😂

AGAA4

If I came home from school looking untidy my mum used to say I looked like I had been pulled through a hedge backwards.

This is the only saying on here that I have heard.

fancythat

AGAA4

If I came home from school looking untidy my mum used to say I looked like I had been pulled through a hedge backwards.

This is the only saying on here that I have heard.

And it’s reminded me that when my father was very hungry he ‘ could eat a nun’s arse through a hedge’!

AGGA , that was a favourite phrase of my Mums too. I was brought up in Yorkshire - wonder if it is a Yorkshire phrase?

'Dick's hatband' : Dick is the devil.

My old dad used to say - if someone suggested doing something he didn’t like - ‘I’d rather go to Wigan pier.’

The look on her face would turn milk sour!

About those who took on thankless tasks, or did not heed advice and landed in some kind of trouble: he/she is a glutton for punishment.

If anything was skew-wiff: it's as straight as a dog's hind leg.

eazybee I didn't know that!

Shelflife It was one of my Mum's sayings too and she was from Yorkshire

Another one from Mum if she's had a bitty sort of day she would say she'd had a 'clashy back end'!

Hmm I wonder if this will get me into trouble, hope not!

My late mum would say 'he's as queer as a nine-bob note' - she never did understand the concept of PC

When describing someone she thought affected, my mother would say:
'Oh, do you know my people; rather poor but awfully clever; fourteen cars and one little guinea pig!'
She had no idea where it came from but thought she had heard it in a play on the radio.

my father used to say he was 'going to Timbuktu and back again' when he went out

My mother- in -law when speaking of someone not very bright would say in her strong Ayrshire accent ‘ she’s no the full shilling’. Of someone doing something stupid ‘she’s as daft as McHarg’s chookies’ (chickens).

To miserable moany types -“it’s being so cheerful that keeps ‘em going”

If my father met anyone looking miserable or down in the dumps, he’d say “Tha looks as if tha’s lost a shillin’ an’ found sixpence!”

Greyduster

If my father met anyone looking miserable or down in the dumps, he’d say “Tha looks as if tha’s lost a shillin’ an’ found sixpence!”

That was used in my family too.

Another expression with the same meaning was
" Tha looks like tha's tossed up for tha dinner and lost!"

My grandad used to tell me he was going to see a man about a dog when he was going to the toilet.