New relationships when your children are young

I have to add that I didn’t find it at all hard being on my own with young children.

My daughter was 7 when I was left to bring her up on my own and between being self-employed, running a home and caring for my daughter I didn't have the energy to date anyone even if I had wanted to ! It was a most definitely a conscious decision on my part as my daughter was badly affected by her father leaving and I didnt want her to feel she was having to share me and to support her 100% .

My ex left me when the children were 4 and 6. No way did I contemplate another relationship. They had already lost one parent, they did not need to "lose" the second parent to being preoccupied with developing a relationship with a stranger to the children.

My two are now adults with grown-up families of their own, and stable, long-term marriages. I do not regret the lack of a partner for myself since 1977, it has been worth it to see my children's steady lives.

But, I do understand that some cannot live without emotional and financial support, so maybe this is the only way forward for them.

Gangan2

My daughter was 7 when I was left to bring her up on my own and between being self-employed, running a home and caring for my daughter I didn't have the energy to date anyone even if I had wanted to ! It was a most definitely a conscious decision on my part as my daughter was badly affected by her father leaving and I didnt want her to feel she was having to share me and to support her 100% .

Well done. Some parents think because they can draw a line under things and move on that their kids can too. My brother was told to move out and he says he will go to his grave with the image of his 12 year old daughter nearly pulling the wing mirror off his car as she was screaming and trying to stop him from leaving. She would not let go of the car and ran down the road holding on to it. It affected her for the rest of her life and still does. Mother had a new man moved in within 2 weeks despite knowing how upset she was.

I really think every case is different. A friend of mine was a single mother at a young age, met a nice man when her children were just 6 and 4. They took things slowly, eventually married and had two more children. The first two boys look upon their step-father as their real dad, the one who raised them and loved their mother.

I do agree that a mother should prioritize their children, but if a chance for love in a healthy relationship is presented, then why martyr yourself?

Deciding not to get involved in a new relationship is not choosing to be a martyr

Annieback, Doesn't it depend on the person? If it comes at your own happiness then yes. Some people happily choose to remain single for the sake of their children.

My MIL's husband died very young, and she raised 3 children on her own. Never once did we ever hear of another romance, or even a date in all those years. But she was happy with her decision.