Daughter just uses me

Op, I would find out the exact facts first.

I used to occasionally get hurt by something in life, only to find it wasnt exactly as I thought[not daughter related].
I decided in future to find things out properly, before getting upset over something or other.

At certain ages, kids benefit the most

My brain turn off, sorry

At some ages, the kids benefits the most from being around their peers

This arrangement was not going to last forever

There is a chance for improvement in communication- your daughter should have told you

Misty007

I feel so hurt I looked after my lovely granddaughter once a week for 3 years as she went to preschool the other days. One week she made a excuse for her not to come then the next week. I waited for her then messaged her partner will she be coming today he said oh no she goes preschool 5 days now as they get another paid for by government days added on. My own daughter didn't even explain or tell me I was deverstated I looked forward to her coming. She's been the same with her partners mother who looked after my grandaughter as a baby
It's like your used not appreciated and just discarded

Busy or not there is no excuse for this sort of behaviour and thoughtlessness really! Don't I know it! Sympathies Misty

I’m afraid I don’t buy the “oh, young people are just so busy” excuse. I’ve looked after all my DGS at some point and have never been made to feel this way by my adult children, however busy they are. They’ve always been appreciative and have let me know well in advance of any changes coming up, and that’s how it should always be.

I’m sorry you’ve been hurt like this, Misty007. Your daughter and her partner are both at fault here, but I hope for the sake of harmony you can rise above it. Perhaps they’ll still need you to look after her in school holidays in the future? Either way, I hope that you’ll still get to see your dear granddaughter regularly.

Sadly this is not uncommon. That was very wrong. Sending a virtual hug

Maybe your daughter knew how you would react and just "chickened out" from discussing it with you.

That was the wrong thing to do, but the important thing is that your granddaughter now has a regular slot at pre-school.

Maybe you need to sit down with a cup of coffee and talk with your daughter about how hurt you felt that she did not let you know properly.

Don't take it to heart your daughter probably doesn't realise how you feel. These days young parents seem so busy and preoccupied. I helped my DiL with the children for over two years. I was never thanked really just taken for granted but I was just glad I did help.

I am sorry you have been hurt by your daughter's thoughtlessness, but young parents are so busy that she may just genuinely have forgotten to tell you of the new arrangement.

At least she seems to be treating you and her MIL alike, which is something many young mothers are not doing, but I don't suppose that helps.

Try not to be too hurt, and don't let on that you feel used and discarded. Wait a week or two then ring them and invite them to Saturday or Sunday lunch. No harm in saying you miss seeing them.

You could ask your daughter why she didn’t tell you, maybe she was seeing if it worked out before cancelling you or she thought you would object.

It was wrong of her not to tell you that the arrangements had changed. I hope you get to continue to see your GD at other times.