MUCH older than me (in her nineties) neighbour

I recall only a short time ago when a nervy neighbour asked me not to decorate so late at night. She mistook her climbing rose moving in the wind, for me painting an internal wall.
Poor woman wanted my sympathy that she couldn’t sleep. Instead she got a polite earful of the many health issues I have making it impossible for me to do decorating or anything needing movement on my part.

I think you’ve over reacted to be honest
She was just being neighbourly

The phrase Grumpy Old Man comes to mind for me.

I have to admit to a snigger at the “MUCH older than me…!”
Own up OP how old are you? (89?) 🤣🤣🤣

If she is in her 90.s she is probably lonely herself or maybe a bit confused. Please be kind but if you don't want to be involved then you don't have to be.

I would reply thanking her for her kind consideration but saying that although the activities sound interesting I am fully committed with other things that I do. You could say you are glad she has such a good social life.

Agree she probably wants to befriend you. So think she is hoping for some companionship.

I admit the comments that you sit in all day and must be lonely are a bit judgemental, I would be annoyed if someone said that to me. However its most likely your neighbour was trying to be friendly in a rather clumsy sort of way. Maybe they are lonely? or one of those people who like everyone to conform. I have suffered from this kind of thing too. I dont do group activities, particularly not coffee mornings, tea parties, knit and chat etc. I am just not a group person. Each to their own. I like other people well enough, have plenty of friends and am not lonely. I would just thank the neighbour for the information about the activities, tell them I am too busy at the moment but will bear in mind for the future and leave it at that.

How fortunate you are!
Befriend your neighbour. What’s the problem, a neighbour is showing care to someone she’s concerned about.
So often we hear of the elderly being found dead and no neighbour has seen them for years.
Get her some flowers or invite her for a meal or do something. It’s called being neighbourly.
Just appreciate you have decent folk around you. They may need you!!

LovelyLady, I disagree, you don't have to force yourself to socialise. The problem is that it's an unwelcome intrusion. I wouldn't want neighbours to 'need' me - from bitter past experience - although they know I'm here if there's a problem or emergency. I'll say good morning but that's about it.

I think your neighbour is well meaning. You can just politely refuse. Also some of us, several decades younger than ninety, do chair based exercises due to arthritis, while I know others who are in their late eighties or nineties can walk for miles, do pilates, etc. You never know you may actually enjoy some of the activities she is suggesting and make new friends.

I think I’d feel the same as you, OP - however kindly meant, I wouldn’t appreciate anyone thinking I need their own idea of what constitutes an adequate social life.