In praise of stuff

davida1968 I found Marie Kondo helpful too, when I moved from the family house I’d lived For 30+ years in to a two bedroom apartment. She was especially helpful, to me, in dealing with the emotional side of moving house. No, she doesn’t advocate minimalism, she writes about enjoying the things we own, and getting rid of things that we don’t enjoy, or have just accumulated without thought. Just the sort of thing people are writing about here. I found it really good to get rid of things I’d been given that I didn’t really like, such as ornaments given by relatives that had to be out in case they visited. All those relatives are now dead. However, the little tchotchkes my children have given me over the years- candles, a seal made from shells, stones they have painted themselves, various things with “mum” written on them that they bought back from school trips, these I still have, in a glass display cabinet I bought from a shop that was closing down. As for death cleaning, I do think it’s a good idea, having helped clear my mother in law’s house and found clothes still with their labels attached and unworn shoes in boxes. Perhaps those who think Marie Kondo is “nuts” should read her book.

He still has his Muffin The Mule Club Membership Card !
I still have mine too. No need to get rid of small vintage memorabilia like that, they take up very little room. It's the magazines, clothes, books, ornaments etc. that take up space and often have very little nostalgic value.

We're decluttering just now. When our first grandchild was born 7 years ago I went mad and bought loads of toys and books in charity shops. We have a room full of it. Now we're clearing out as we're decorating. I must say I am shocked at the amount we had. Many visits to charity shops this week. I actually pity the volunteers having to sort so much stuff.

As for wool I have lots. I've been working my way through it knitting baby cardigans, hats etc., I hope to give my bag of knits to Womans Aid as women arrive with their children without anything. Any wool I don't like goes to the charity shop. They say it's sold as soon as it hits the shelves.

I still have loads of stuff because it reminds me of my long life. I have thrown out fiction books but still enjoy books on art and artists and use reference books. Have loads of photos including ones of my grandparents taken in the 1890s and myself from the age of three months and my grandchildren’s school photos. My grandson recently asked to see them.
If everyone threw out everything there would be no Bargain Hunt or Antiques Road show. I had kept a brass fox head door knocker from a previous house. A similar one was sold recently on Bargain Hunt for £150. I gave mine to a grandson who had just moved into a new house.
My son who will have the task of clearing all this stuff, hastold me He will be happy to do so.

Totally agree in theory with throwing away clothes not worn in last 12 mths and clearing out other stuff but when it comes down to actually doing same it's a different matter entirely especially where clothes are concerned. When you once didn't have very much at all it's incredibly difficult to throw things away - just in case.

I think William Morris had it about right:

"Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful." (I think beauty could also cover items that have emotional value for you, such as children's first paintings, photos, etc.)

My son works estate sales- The excess and waste is tremendous- When you think of the overall energy it takes to produce material, manufacture the goods, distribute the goods globally to ports, to stores, to homes, to the waste bin, to the landfill or shipped back out to sea to other countries to be recycled .. All the the energy involved for a "thing" that ends up being useless .. and pollutes the planet ..

Add to that the people that travel sometimes thousands of miles to carry out the emptying the contents of houses ..

It's not a judgement shot- But the excess and energy is shocking ..

I keep just one room for the can't bear to get rid of and being mainly books and photographs.I feel I should as all this is doing is giving the responsibility to my children who I can hear saying what on earth did she keep this for.

But if we don’t buy Stuff, how are we going to Grow the Economy?!!

Yes, I like my stuff too. Nothing minimalist for me.

SueDonin, my mother did that to me too, I was heartbroken. Years worth of carefully collected or made dollshouse furnishings too. All my as new condition annuals, favourite books (I'm a bookworm) my Wade collectibles too. She could be very hurtful & would punish by doing such things. She gave away many things over the years and more so as dementia took hold (even irreplaceable things dad had brought her back from Egypt, Italy during WW11) family photos were decimated by her, my old school photos - because I was "such an ugly child" even to cutting people out of photos that she'd fallen out with! Sometimes it's the links, the connections you make with 'things' not the monetary value that matters most.

I follow the William Morris maxim but it is a problem when someone dear to you gives you something you don't like. I'm also no cooking the same stuff as I used to - grandchildren don't visit so much and I don't do afternoon teas for friends so the fanciful cake tins and mould are gathering dust. They should go. I try hoarding by proxy giving to someone who might make good use of it. The most important thing is letting the dear adult children know what is either important or valuable as I have heirlooms and bank accounts galore. I've tidied up my Isas, now for the bank accounts.

That's very sad, Madmaggie. My mother didn't do it out of maliciousness. She simply doesn't get attached to things and has never understood that other people don't feel the same way, so out they went.

I remember phoning her the day after my dad's funeral. She cheerfully informed me that she'd got rid of all his clothes that day to the charity shop! I know they were of no use to her but to do it so speedily was very typical of her.

I do not like clutter. It clutters my mind and I do believe in the maxim ”more is less”. The more stuff you have the less you see what you have. I have a friend who is a dedicated clutterer. When I leave her place I feel almost ill. There are things everywhere; on shelves, on the floor, on tables, in fact there is hardly a surface that is bare.

However, I do not want my home to be like a nun's cell. I like my paintings, mostly by local artists, my books and a few ornaments. I have candles, photos, rugs (no fitted carpets) and throws.

I'm sure some people would feel my place is a bit spartan.

We are all different. Have the home you like and where you feel comfortable and happy!

Perhaps it would be a good idea to sit down and discuss what items are of interest - Its a kindness to extend the courtesy - But if it's something a parent no longer wishes to own and maintain it would then be the responsibility of the adult child to retrieve it and not use the parents home for the storage of what they want at some point in the future- Agree to a reasonable time limit for retrieval, but if they drag their their feet .. Perhaps it's a matter of emotional attachment rather than an actual interest ..

Well Bathsheba, we must have been twins in a former life, because everything you said, could have been written about me & my life regarding decluttering! My Daughter who is very much a minimalist, and not one jot sentimental, can have a field day when I snuff it!

Me too! I like vintage. It takes me back to gentler times!

And gentler times weren't excessive ..

They were selective- Items were manufactured to certain standards, one of which was to last long- Most items in homes served a purpose - There was certainly decor- But even the closets in older homes here are tiny compared to the walk-in closets designed to hold excessive wardrobes-

The economy wouldn't go bust if we returned to less waste but the planet will continue to suffer for sure if excess isnt curbed ..

My friend's mother did a 'death clean' when she knew she was seriously ill. Mostly it was done from her armchair instructing her AC what to get rid of and where! When I visited her there were just cardboard boxes around like someone waiting for the removal men to arrive. In fact she lived longer than expected so was in 'the waiting room' for several years. Very depressing I thought.
However, I do like to keep a watch on my own clutter, especially paperwork and books.

Moggie 57 I sure would like to be able to be like you regarding clothes. Do you really throw them out if you have not worn them for a year. I have clothes I have not worn for 3 years or more. I would love to do this and only have what I wear but dont feel able to do it.

Sadly, I admit to being a hoarder. I DO give books and clothes to Charity Shops, as well as donating them to (mostly) Animal Charities on facebook (and from whom I also BUY - but re-donate). I have stopped buying ornaments and have donated many of these to Charity, despite that fact that I feel guilty because many were gifts from friends or family! I compost everything compostable, and return any plastic that is NOT recyclable to the store it came from (my husband cringes when I do this). Use Fabric bags for shopping ALWAYS (and have a fold up one in my handbag). I am trying to de-clutter, have MASSES of books in the house (seven bookcases currently), but I have a garage and a loft full of other stuff (Suitcases, Christmas Tree, Baubles, Ornaments, that I get down every year) but just lots of things I'm POSITIVE will need to be thrown away, if only I could find the time.

Those of you with lots of knitting yarn to use up, how about making some Twiddle Muffs for people with dementia? Your local hospital might be glad of them - mine is. Patients take them home with them on discharge.
You can use chunky or double DK yarn - I've often used both - on big fat needles.

If you Google Oxford University Hospitals Twiddle Muff there's a pattern there. Quick and easy and you can use lots of different colours.

My local hospital also asks for knitted breasts (!!!) for community midwives to use in breastfeeding demonstrations. Any colour is Ok, they don't have to be human-colour! .

I was talking about this with my husband today. I was saying that I’m starting to feel really overwhelmed with all the ‘stuff’ we’ve accumulated. Half way through the conversation I realised that it’s only been happening over the last few years. I think I shop if I’m stressed, anxious or worried. It’s not just stuff but food. I don’t want to be like my sister who’s house feels cold and unwelcoming but I’m so fed up of spending what feels like an enormous amount of time moving stuff from one room/place to another only to move it back a few months later.

I like a house to be lived in. However, there is a lot of difference between clutter and hoarding. Sadly I am a natural hoarder. I make it a rule now not to buy anything I don't actually need. I am working at de-cluttering where I can. I would love to return my house to being the home it ought to be, for my sake if not for the sake of my AC.

With the best will in the world, sometimes passing stuff on to charity shops etc is difficult. Maybe our area is too affluent! But our local charity shops aren’t taking much at all these days and are very selective. I recently had to hawk my bags from shop to shop as they told me what they would take. Health Centre don’t want magazines. Germs they say??? When a clearance company did my parents’ house the man told me that cut glass ends up in landfill “Nobody wants it these days”
Our local tip has a “shop” which looks like Steptoe’s Yard and I managed to leave “stuff” there when we cleaned out our shed and garage. Perhaps the moral is to not acquire it in the first place? But like Maw, I do like bits with history. Dilemma!