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AIBU

(103 Posts)
Jeanlizzie Wed 24-Jul-19 13:33:06

I recently went to visit a friend for a week, the whole time i was there she was admiring my handbag , and kept dropping hints , so when i left i gave it to her , although i must admit i have regretted it ,
Fast forward 3 or so months i found the same bag on ebay for a fair amount of money , and wondered if i should buy it, then when i looked at where the seller is , and its the same town as my friend, AIBU to ask if its her selling it? I think i would be so angry if it was , but my DH thinks i gave it to her so she can do what she wants with it ,and i half agree, but i feel as if she's been very underhand about it all

dragonfly46 Wed 24-Jul-19 13:34:56

I find this very odd. I would never give away something of mine simply because a friend admired it. She probably realised how much she could get for it. I do not think she is a true friend.

MissAdventure Wed 24-Jul-19 13:36:52

Perhaps you should buy it.
Imagine her shock when she sees your name and address come up!
No need to say anything.

Charleygirl5 Wed 24-Jul-19 13:39:04

I find that unbelievable. I would not have given away the handbag and now I would be inclined to ask her face to face so that you can see her reaction if she did do that. If she did, I would not class her as a friend or even an acquaintance. One does not do that to friends.

glammanana Wed 24-Jul-19 13:42:57

I would certainly ask her if she is the seller and if she is take her off your friend list.

Beckett Wed 24-Jul-19 13:46:09

Casually mention to her that you had seen a handbag like the one you gave her for sale on ebay - and judge by her reaction.

Jeanlizzie Wed 24-Jul-19 13:46:58

In the past she has been very good to me ,and i felt under so much pressure with her going on about it , i didnt know it was worth anything i bought it for a few pounds at a local church fete
I have decided too draw a line under the friendship , as although as i said she has been good in the past when my DH was ill in hospital, this incident has made me think of other things that have been said or done in the past

gt66 Wed 24-Jul-19 14:35:43

Although you can't be a 100% sure it's her selling it, it sounds to me that your 'friend' knew it's worth and why she kept hinting!

You could try winning it, but I'm not sure if you will still know it's from her, as I don't think ebay shows the sellers address, unless it's a business seller, but obviously she will know it's you!

Elegran Wed 24-Jul-19 14:54:34

You could tell you you have seen one "exactly like yours" and wondered whether she had seen it, and when you show her the listing "Oh look! it is near you. I do wish I hadn't given mine to you now, I did like it so much. How about us clubbing together and buying it? Then we'd each have paid half and would both have one. I'll contact the seller right now and ask her exact address so that we can go round for it . . . " You might even be there to see the message arrive.

grannylyn65 Wed 24-Jul-19 14:59:07

I think that’s unpleasant ?

Coolgran65 Wed 24-Jul-19 15:03:37

If you bought it (she will know it is you) and you could then compare yours to 'hers'.

You could 'contact the seller' with a question, i.e. ask if it has any specific marks or minor damage you should know about, she might tell you/send a pic of something you would recognise. Again she will know it is you making enquiries.

You could tell her.... oh my goodness, there's a bag the same as the one I gave you on eBay, it's location is even xxx, I had no idea it was so popular, I might bid for it.

if it was me...... I'd ask if it is her who is selling it and if so, say you always loved it and would be delighted to have it back. Ask her to end the listing.

Or you write the handbag and the friend off, but you'd need to confirm that it was indeed your/her bag that is being sold.

Depends if you want to keep her as a friend.

Alexa Wed 24-Jul-19 15:05:04

If you pm me the ebay number of the bag, I would ask the seller if I could pick it up in person if I were to buy it. The seller might reveal her name and address.

Davida1968 Wed 24-Jul-19 15:09:44

Alexa, I think that is a brilliant idea.....

sharon103 Wed 24-Jul-19 15:18:16

I would send a message/contact seller on ebay and ask a question about the bag for example the size and 'kind regards from, put your full name. I would love to see her face if it is your friend. lol
Take it from there. If it is her just tell her to remove it from auction and you'd like it back please.

sharon103 Wed 24-Jul-19 15:19:54

I've just read the post from Alexa. Brilliant!

BradfordLass72 Thu 25-Jul-19 07:41:40

sharon103 idea is good but in the question I'd say "I gave mine to a good friend because she admired it but I so much regret it now, so would love the chance to replace it"

You may get a parcel in the mail smile

Grammaretto Thu 25-Jul-19 08:03:43

I wonder if you really liked the bag so much?
If this underhand selling was being done by your DD or other loved one, ask yourself if you'd feel differently?
I also wonder if the seller will get a high price as some things don't sell.
It is only money after all.
If you miss the bag. Ask for it back.

LullyDully Thu 25-Jul-19 08:06:55

Perhaps just put it down to experience. You did give it to her to do what she wanted with it.

EllanVannin Thu 25-Jul-19 08:51:41

What a horrible underhanded trick ! That's no friend.

GabriellaG54 Thu 25-Jul-19 08:56:46

Yes...great idea BradfordLass72 grin

lovebeigecardigans1955 Thu 25-Jul-19 09:04:39

My MIL had a similar thing happen. My SIL admired her fake fur coat, went on and on about it. MIL (who would give you the shirt off her back if she liked you) eventually gave her the coat.
Then they went out for dinner one winter. MIL asked, "Why don't you wear that coat?" SIL had to 'fess up that she'd sold it. MIL was flabbergasted and ever after thought that SIL was 'grabby' - mercenary and never really forgave her.

jessycake Thu 25-Jul-19 09:34:31

I wonder what sort of friend would accept your handbag as a gift when she clearly knew you didn't realise its value. I think thats the more hurtful thing , you would never have gifted her the bag if you had paid full price however much she went on about it . Is she a facebook friend ? I would post the link to the bag on your wall and say you had this bag once and didn't realise its value and wish you had kept it .

Gonegirl Thu 25-Jul-19 09:41:21

Well apparently, as I have been told on this website, once you give something to someone it's theirs to do as they like with. So I think you have to suck it up. Sorry.

Gonegirl Thu 25-Jul-19 09:42:52

Alexa you have a devious mind. grin

Sara65 Thu 25-Jul-19 09:47:23

Well it seems a very odd and underhand if it is her selling it, but I also find it a bit odd to give away a handbag, it would never occur to me, however much someone admired it